It’s Not About You, It’s About Them
Coming from a mindset that "it's not about you, it's about them" is something I've been continuing to adopt in the past few months both in my personal life and business especially when building relationships. When it comes to self-development and living a purpose-filled life, it might stir some confusion - do we prioritise ourselves or others?
What I've learned is that self-development can actually mislead you, if you don't know where you're being led. Many times, I've seen people fight against their very nature (inc. myself in the past) because they've interpreted who they think they should be by what the books, videos, etc tell them. Every moment when they’re aware of not being that person, it creates more resistance.
In fact, some of those who heavily delve in self-development are often moving upstream rather than downstream. Their relationships suffer because they feel more “separated” from those who are not aligned to the teachings, they lose a lot of patience and they put others first before they can learn to lead themselves.
We can only give what is within us. You cannot squeeze a lemon out of an orange because an orange has no lemon. So in order to truly give, you have to work on yourself first. That said, you have to lead with what you can give, so contribution is always at the forefront. Why? Because when you give value, you get value in return. The highest form of love is to give it, without expecting in return. It doesn't mean you neglect yourself, in fact you're always at the top of the equation. You're just leading more effectively and making the laws of the Universe work for you - what you give comes back to you.