An open letter to the one I hurt the most
I thought the most horrible day of my life was the day I said goodbye. Well, I found out that it was only the beginning of misery. The light that once shone in my life has burned out. I stand here today, a broken part of you, and only half a person without you. Never does a minute pass me by, without thinking of you. I hear your voice in everything I do and find myself always searching for you in crowded rooms, in hopes of a mere glimpse of your face.
I am endlessly missing you, longing for you, aching for you. I’m sorry for all the mistakes that I’ve done to hurt you so much. How many words I need to say for you just to forgive me? I’ve replayed our life together over and over in my head a hundred times, a thousand times, and each time I ask myself, how could I have ever have let this happen? You are all I ever lived for, aside from my family and friends.
I have lost you soon. I must have been out of my mind not to recognize how hard you deal with my path of selfishness.
It took us sooner break up to have my eyes finally opened to see how badly I have hurt you. I feel ashamed, it makes me cry. How could I have done this to the one I love the most in the world? It really made me realize that some major changes needed to be made in my life. So I decided to find myself first before loving you again. I will do anything, anything to have you back in my life.
I love you with all of my heart and I hope and pray that you can dig deep inside one more time to find some way to forgive me for all the wrong I have done. I am truly sorry love, for everything. Night and day I am tormented, trying to live without you every time we have misunderstandings. Please give me one more chance to prove to you that I love you enough to make whatever changes are needed. Your love means more than to me than anything in this world and I need you in my life.
I am hurting so badly. Please, throw away all the memories that we’ve shared together. Life without you is unbearable. It’s tearing me apart inside, so badly that I just want to die. You are my life. Please, I beg of you, don’t let our love slip away. It is worth fighting for. I know that we can persevere through this. Please give me this one last chance. I know I hurt you many times and I have no right to say this but here I am again, begging you to accept my apology. I love you, love.
Loving you forever,
Hanna A.