Oct 1, 2017
IT WAS THE STITCH MARKER!
I double checked the SSK how-to: that wasn’t it
I tried knitting it 10x tighter: that wasn’t it
I removed the stitch marker and kept the knit tight: HUZZAH!
That seemed to do the trick. This photo is on the second sock, and you can see about 2/3rds down the line of stitches that it looks more normal. That’s when I stopped using the marker. Aside from that, I think the only other thing that could have helped was possibly smaller needles.
Lesson learned.