Pick Me Up
V didn’t think his life was particularly hard. Even if he did, there was nothing he could do about it. He would watch over the organisation, watching how they would chat happily yet he always had an underlying feeling of guilt. There were so many things he could have told them, there were so many things he could be telling them right now but until the time called, he didn’t have the intention of doing so. He continued to feel guilty as he kept them in the dark but at the same time, he was keeping himself in the dark. He drew a line between himself and the organisation. The moment he began keeping secrets to himself, he felt as if he didn’t have the right to speak to them and enjoy himself. So he sat at home, watching the messages pop up on his screen, illuminating the dark room and his face. His days were just spent like this, watching the chatroom and wondering just what happened.
A notification popped up on his screen, illuminating his face just a little brighter as he pressed it with his finger. He had forgotten all about it.
“Happy birthday V!!” the message read as he couldn’t help but smile at what was sent. From what you had sent. Another notification popped up on his screen, followed but another and another. Birthday wishes from the members he held so dearly to his heart and no matter how hard he could have tried, there was no way the smile on his face could be dimmed. This memory seemed insignificant but to V, it arrived at the perfect time.
With this, he could continue on believing that perhaps maybe the day would come where he could enjoy life without regrets. Maybe the day would come where V could talk happily with the members of the organisation he helped to create. Maybe one day, V wouldn’t feel guilty about enjoying himself.
All he needed was a small pick me up to give him hope. Maybe one day he would be able to live how he wanted and do what he wanted to do. Maybe in the future, he would be able to spend every birthday with a smile on his face and surrounded by those he loved.
If only maybe was definite.