❛ You wouldn’t answer your phone. ❜ / from hunter @ yael !
he says that as if it’s yael’s responsibility to respond. he says that as if it’s a requirement from them. he says it as if they have nothing better to do but to talk to HIM. that used to be what mattered most to yael —— it used to be something they couldn’t wait for; their best friend and BOYFRIEND coming to them rather than the others, because their friendship was more important. yael always needed someone like hunter, someone who saw them as a PERSON rather than someone who was lesser than him ( the same way they feel around baaz or vijay. )
things have been strange between them lately. there’s a disconnect that they never had before. there’s an invisible WALL between the two that they haven’t found a way of breaking yet. nothing feels right, nothing feels NORMAL, and yael hates it. hunter used to be the one person they could always rely on, and now, it feels so hard to talk to him. it feels like they must balance between walking on eggshells and wanting too much.
because they still do want him. it’s never just been about dating each other; it’s always been about their friendship. that was the number one rule of their relationship: their friendship came first. they didn’t sacrifice any part of that just because they were dating. and that’s why yael felt so safe —— because they had someone consistent in their life. but now, they didn’t know where they stood.
they didn’t mean to be so harsh with him. they didn’t mean to RESENT him so much —— it just happened. it wasn’t supposed to be like this; if they couldn’t work out their relationship, they were still supposed to have a friendship to fall back on, but that doesn’t seem true anymore. it seems lost. and for that, yael doesn’t know how to talk to him like they used to —— all they know how to do is fight, even if that’s not what they want.
❝ contrary to the stereotypes of a normal human teenager, i’m not always on my phone, ❞ they shoot back, eyes looking over their glasses before they quickly look away, already regretting the words ( they should have went with a simple ‘ sorry, ‘ or perhaps even LIED and said they never saw the call, but that didn’t feel right either. ) ❝ i was busy, ❞ they mutter instead. it’s half right; they spent their night with lola, someone they don’t have to question or worry about. and maybe they don’t have to question hunter anymore, but there’s something in the pit of their stomach that makes them so SCARED to try.
fingers move to adjust their glasses, posture straightening slightly. ❝ sorry. ❞ the word comes out more apologetic, less cold like their last. they don’t mean to be bitter towards hunter. it just comes from all they’ve been experiencing lately. what they need is consistency, and they’re just not sure that’s hunter anymore. ❝ ——- i didn’t want to talk, okay? there’s just a lot going on. and it’s . . . hard to be around you right now. ❞ even the truth burns from their lips.
╱ @legatied
