Summary: “You’re lying.” Her voice shakes, it’s soft and fragile. He never wanted to be the cause of her sounding like that. He is though, and he has to sell it.
Sidney has always put hockey first. After hockey, it was school.
He rode out his first heat alone in his room with only toys to ride through his heat with. After that, suppressants. It’s recommended to go off suppressants every three years. While Sid was still living at home, he did it. His second to last year of high school he was taken off suppressants. Jack Johnson helped him through his heat and Sidney regretted it immediately.
It’s been six years since Jack and Sidney has spent every year on suppressants since then.
There are times when he contemplates coming off them. For as many omega horror stories about going through heat out there, there more tempting stories. On many lonely Friday nights, Sid has sat at home watching omega porn. The target audience are alphas so of course it’s not accurate, but Sidney can’t help but be a bit jealous at the attention the omegas on screen get. How the alphas look like they want to drown in their omega’s scent. How the omegas drip at the single touch of a strong alpha.
Not all suppressants block out Sid’s omega scent but Sidney’s do. He let one boyfriend scent him but they broke up over an argument about suppressants. Not a huge loss. He’s since been able to work on his dissertation with little distractions so far.
His neighbor comes and goes often. Sidney’s lived in the same complex for two years and aside from a simple greeting, he hasn’t talked to his neighbor much. He heard from the mated couple upstairs that the guy’s name is Nate. The apartment has a slight hint of alpha pheromones with occasional omega undertones which tells Sid that Nate must spend a lot of time at his omega’s place.
On the rare times Sid sees Nate, he swears Nate has checked him out. Nate has a partner though, so Sid rules that out as unlikely. Most of the time Sid misses Nate coming or going. Only a fresh lingering scent tells Sid that his neighbor has returned.
Nate seems like a nice guy. He smells pleasantly of snow and fresh baked bread. Sometimes—only when he’s sure Nate isn’t looking—he’ll check the alpha out from behind. On lonely nights, instead of thinking of a faceless made-up alpha, Nate will come to mind. His broad shoulders and thick arms. It gets him through the night just fine.
Alphas are almost a dime a dozen. They’re everywhere. Back from when Sidney played hockey, he made friends with plenty. Most of them he lost contact with. One of them in particular, Sid will always joke about wanting to get rid of, but he’s always—well, most of the time—been grateful for Flower’s friendship. There are many exceptions that come to mind.
“Looks like lover boy is back,” Flower observes, spying obviously outside Sidney’s window.
“Well don’t stare at him then,” Sidney replies. He counts Flower lucky that he’s trying not to let their pasta boil over.
“You have an unmated alpha living across the hall from you, of course I’m going to stare if I see him. I want to see what kind of guy he looks like.” Flower lets the shutters close after learning nothing. Nate came up the stairs empty handed. “I’m protecting your virtue.”
“I’ve had sex before,” Sid says with a roll of his eyes.
Flower laughs. “Not very good sex.”
“I told you that in confidence!”
The laughing turns into cackling, even after Sidney throws a piece of boiling hot pasta at Flower’s face.
*
Teaching history to high school students was meant to be a source of funding to continue his schooling. After seeing his first set of seniors go, he can’t imagine the rest of his students will let him go easily.
Case in point, somehow his classroom during his free period has also become a hangout for his students to eat their lunch in. Sidney’s pretty sure that’s not supposed to be allowed but even after he’s kicked some of them out. They just keep coming back. A few of them, Sidney thinks Tanger sent down to his classroom.
What a traitor.
The bell ending lunch rings loudly, interrupting his own thoughts. The papers Sid had been trying to grade are half done, thankfully putting him ahead of schedule. He thought they’d never get done.
“Hey, Mr. Crosby, can I ask you something?”
Bracing himself, Sid looks up to Justin standing in front of his desk. The kid smells of nervousness which Sidney takes as a bad sign. Still, he’s a teacher meant to mentor these kids so he says, “Sure, what is it?”
“Have you ever been courted by an alpha before?” Justin asks.
Sid feel his ears redden. “Um,” he says lamely. He’s never been courted. Jack certainly didn’t court him and his ex, if he did court Sid, didn’t do a very memorable job. “Why do you ask?”
“There’s a g—omega that I’ve been trying to get to notice me. I don’t know what to do,” Justin explains.
“Just be yourself,” Sidney replies, smiling encouragingly.
Inwardly, Sidney wishes he could follow his own advice.
*
At age twenty-eight, it’s almost time that Sidney gets himself a mate. He wants one. It would be great to be married and mated by the time he’s thirty. He’s not getting any younger. He also doesn’t want to seem desperate. The single life treats him well despite him missing having a partner.
Tanger and Flower have tried to help. They’ve set Sidney up on a string of blind dates with men of various dynamics and professions. Most of the dates were not followed by a second.
Wrinkling his nose, Sid squints at the chicken scratch in front of him. The handwriting, even the name at the top of the page, is nearly unreadable. He’s thought about making typed essays mandatory but for now, it’s better that his students know how to write. Some kids, Sidney can tell, take advantage of spell check a bit too much.
For the time being Sidney’s saved by a few quick knocks at his front door.
“Hey, I know this is lame,” Nate says, standing in front of Sidney’s doorway, “but do you have any eggs I could borrow? I thought I had some but they expired, like, a week ago or something and I’m pretty sure they aren’t safe to eat anymore.”
Sidney holds his breath for a moment. Nate smells so strongly of alpha, like he’s about to go into a rut at any moment now. There’s an added hint of fresh grass after it rains in Nate’s scent that Sid doesn’t usually pick up on. He realizes he’s been staring a bit too long when Nate clears his throat.
“Is that okay?” the alpha asks, unsure. His socked feet are wearing Crocs that shouldn’t be attractive but Sidney’s instincts betray him.
“Yeah, sure, come inside,” Sidney replies. He opens the door wider for Nate to come inside. His apartment probably smells like Flower since twice a week—Friday and Sunday like clockwork—they go to the hockey rink and hang out at Sid’s place afterwards for lunch.
By the look on Nate’s face, he picks up on Flower’s scent instantly. “If it’s too late, I can wait outside, it’s no problem.”
“It’s fine. It’s just my friend, Flower. He thinks scenting my couch helps me, protecting my virtue and all that.” Sidney waves his hand offhandedly. The living room and kitchen connect so while he digs around in the refrigerator for his egg carton, he’s positive that Nate is still rooted at the doorway.
“So, not your mate?” Nate asks, looking around. The only decorations on the wall are Sid’s first hockey jersey in a shadow box and some family photos his mother brought up. Plus, the TV that he mounted on the wall, though Taylor tells him that a TV doesn’t count as a decoration.
“Nope, just a friend,” he replies. Sid sets the carton on the counter, opening it to see only three eggs left. It’s probably about time he goes shopping too. “How many do you need?”
“Two or three,” Nate says, finally moving from his spot. He has his hands shoved deep into his pockets.
“Perfect, you can just take the carton with you then. I have three left,” Sid explains, handing it over.
Nate hesitates momentarily. “Are you sure?” Sid nods. “Thanks, I—I guess I owe you then.”
When Sid walks Nate to the door, he can’t help but get a bit closer to the alpha than usual. He typically keeps his distance from strange alphas, only Nate’s scent calls out to Sid. The back of Nate’s neck flushes red up to his ears.
There’s no omega scent lingering on Nate’s body like Sid is used to.
Not a great sign.
*
Sidney starts to see traces of Nate everywhere.
Nate looks tired the next time Sid sees him. The fresh grass smell is gone and so is the alpha’s rut, which Sid is thankful for. He doesn’t have super hearing but there definitely was a lot more noise coming from Nate’s apartment than usual. Not even the feeling of guilt could stop Sid from breaking out his secret stash.
With his bedroom door safely locked (he’s a bit paranoid, he knows) accompanied by his favorite video streamed through his TV from his laptop, Sid breaks out the toy his sister gave to him as a gag gift and gets comfortable. The present had been signed with Taylor’s name in Flower's distinct handwriting. He hadn’t noticed that at the time. It was his twenty-first birthday and being that his friends took him to Vegas against his better judgement, Sid was drunk. He’s always associated Taylor with the gift, and Taylor being too embarrassed to talk about her own brother’s sex life, has just let the misunderstanding continue.
One day, maybe someone will clarify the mixup but so long as Sidney is picturing Nate’s large hands wrapped around his wrists just as they had been curled around the egg carton, it won’t be today.
From being on the suppressants so long, Sid’s slick is irregular. It takes a lot of effort to get wet not in heat and even if he does get slick, it’s thicker than it should be.
The omega on screen is small, unlike Sidney. So much that the alpha almost has him completely covered with his body if not for their height difference. The omega wriggles around, pushing at his alpha until the larger man is placed between his thighs. There’s corny dialogue Sid doesn’t pay attention to. His eyes are glued to the screen. The alpha spanks the omega’s thighs until it’s a light pink. After begging, the omega finally gets what he wants. The alpha spreads the omega’s cheeks and buries his tongue inside the omega’s soft place.
Using lube, Sidney almost looks as slick as the omega on the screen. He tries to mimic what’s on the TV, with how the alpha pets the omega’s hole with two fingers, stroking over the tight pucker. The fingers feel all wrong though. They’re his and Sid wants an alpha’s.
The alpha in the film is more attentive than most. If it isn’t pleasure meant for the alpha, it doesn’t happen for long. Foreplay, for the most part, is short. It lasts long enough for the omega to get wet, then it’s about dominance.
Sidney watches the video long enough so that he can come. A hand clamped over his mouth, just as the alpha holds the omega’s lips shut, Sid whimpers out his neighbor’s name.
The other side of his bed is cold, though Sidney still sleeps well, his thoughts going snow melting on the grass with bread cooling in his front window.
*
Jen is a sweet woman, which Sidney supposes is why he pays her so much for therapy. He used to see her more often while he was working on his graduate program. Now, he’s reduced his visits to whenever he feels particularly antsy.
“And why is it that you still feel like you can’t be intimate with an alpha?” she asks him. Her notebook is on her lap but for as long as Sidney has been watching her, she hasn’t written a thing down since their session started.
“I don’t know,” Sid confesses.
“In the past you’ve said that your friends Marc Andre and Kris have set you up on dates. Has that happened lately?” Jen clicks her pen, prepared to write something.
Sidney shakes his head. “After Mike I asked them to stop.”
Jen hums in understanding. “How are your suppressants? Still taking them?” Sidney hesitates answering. “I know I’m not your doctor, but I know that we both know that you’ve been on them too long. Would you say that it’s possible you’re afraid of what the effects will be if you come off them?”
“I suppose,” Sid replies, suddenly finding the string coming loose on his sleeve more interesting.
“There are a few agencies that specialize in heat and rut companions I can recommend to you. I can understand if your hesitance comes from spending your first heat in five years alone.” Jen reaches into one of her desk drawers, lined neatly with various business cards inside. She pulls one out and slides it across the table to Sid. “It wouldn’t hurt to consider it. They have people you can talk to there, too.”
Even tucked away in his wallet, the business card feels like a heavy weight in his pocket for the rest of the week. Sidney keeps it there until the end of the week. Sitting in front of his apartment in his car, he pulls it out along with his cell phone. He stares at the numbers until he has them memorized, then calls Flower.
*
It must be the phone call that has him paranoid. Being on suppressants for an extended amount of time has never really bothered him. They don’t give off too many health issues while on them. It’s more coming off of them cold turkey that gives omegas their problems. He has to see the doctor before he decides to stop using them. Lowering his dosage slowly is usually the safest bet.
The headaches and how tight his gut feels gets worse and worse every day. It doesn’t happen often, but he calls in sick.
One morning he casually forgets to take that day’s dosage.
Nate smells like concern the next time Sidney sees him. He tries not to think about it. If Sid hadn’t let Nate get to him, this wouldn’t be happening. Guilt washes over Sidney as the elevator doors close shut.
It’s not really Nate’s fault. Nate doesn’t know what’s wrong with Sid.
The doctor confirms that the process will be slow and just like Jen, he recommends Sid find a companion to help him through his first heat. He puts the second business card where the first one is.
*
The next time Nate is gone for a few days, Sid takes that to clear his head. He wants an alpha that hasn’t so much looked at Sidney in that way. He doesn’t know Nate’s last name or what his job is. The omega scent has come back so Sid can’t even be sure if Nate is single. Or gay. Maybe he’s bi. Sidney wouldn’t know that either.
He’s lusting after a guy he’s barely exchanged pleasantries with.
Sighing where he sits in his car, Sid looks out the window and glares at the rain. He’s already wet from running to his car from school so it wouldn’t be a big deal if he ran inside his complex. But it gives him an excuse to brood in his car by himself. It’s like the business cards are laughing at him, Sid notices. His wallet is soaked but the cards are dry. Now is a good time as any to call and set up an appointment. His doctor said they do those sometimes. They let clients come in and get assessed to see which one of their companions would work best. Sometimes they’re matched by personality, sometimes need, sometimes it’s whoever is available.
Looking up at his apartment window he sees the windows are dark. Next door, however, he sees a faint glow. After almost a full week, Nate is back.
Last minute, Sid decides that now is not the best time to make a phone call. He slides the cards back into his wallet the best he can without getting them as wet as the rest of his wallet then slides that back into his back pocket. The rain is as light as it’s going to get.
Gathering up his things, he makes a run for it. His shirt is completely drenched and for some reason the back of his legs from the knee down is dry. It’s somewhat of a struggle to get his key into the lock. Everything is slippery, not to mention, cold to the touch.
He doesn’t realize that his bag is open nor does he feel something fall out of it.
Two hours later, after a hot shower and a cup of tea, Sidney has himself wrapped up in a blanket planted on his couch. One of the many talent shows is on TV. He thinks of voting for the girl who can tap dance but his phone is charging in his bedroom. The next act is a magician, way more exciting so he stays put where he is. On screen, the man is gesturing to a door, spinning it around to show there’s nothing behind it and knocks.
The knocking is loud and continues even after the magician gestures to his assistant. Belatedly, Sidney realizes that it’s because there’s someone knocking on his actual door.
His blanket cocoon is hard to unravel himself from. Sid leaves it around his shoulders even as he unlocks his front door and swings it open. Somewhere in the back of his head he recalls Flower lecturing him on opening doors without looking through the peephole first, but that doesn’t mean everyone who comes knocking is a murderer.
Nate might actually be worse than a murderer. Maybe marginally better, but still worse than maybe a robber. Seeing Nate gets Sid’s stomach all tied up into knots.
“Hey,” Nate says softly as if he’s not sure if Sid wants to speak to him. “You dropped this earlier.” In his hand is Sidney’s school employee ID attached to a Penguin’s lanyard.
“Thank you. I didn’t even realize I dropped it,” Sidney says with a laugh. The ID card feels dry while the material of the lanyard is still damp.
“No problem.” Nate rocks on the balls of his feet, looking like he’s ready to flee at any moment but unwilling to go. “I don’t know if this is weird but, I got this for you.” In the plastic bag he had been holding at his side, he pulls out a carton of a half-dozen eggs up for Sid to see. “I owed you, from before.”
Sidney smiles before he even registers what he’s doing. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s no big deal, really. I finally went grocery shopping, figured I could pay you back this way.” Nate crumples the bag in his hands then shoves them in his pockets. It’s dark in the hallway aside from the living room light behind Sidney and yet Nate backs away a little.
Against his better judgement, Sid offers to let Nate come inside. Watching mindless TV is better with company, he says as an excuse. His living room is a mess, his kitchen table is covered in the contents of Sidney’s bag and wallet all laid out to dry. As Sid puts away the eggs in the refrigerator and turns on the coffee pot to make Nate a cup, he misses the way Nate’s eyes follow him across the kitchen.
He definitely doesn’t see Nate look at the business cards with dismay.
Against his better judgement, Sid shares his blanket with Nate instead of going to get another one. The rest of the show passes quickly. Even though it’s only nine o’clock, Sidney still falls asleep. Nate stays until the show ends and leaves as quietly as possible after contemplating through the next program whether or not he should wake Sid up.
The next morning, Sidney wishes Nate did.
*
Sidney can tell his lower suppressant dosages are working when the gym teacher tries scenting him. Not in a territorial way, but in a way that tells Sid the man is trying to find the source of the smell. When the man sees that Sidney is onto him, he quickly looks away, face zeroed in on his plate.
Flower is more unapologetically obvious.
“If I wasn’t already mated, I would be first in line to court you,” Flower says perched in one of the bar stools at Sidney’s kitchen counter.
“Thanks, I guess,” Sidney replies. Out of curiosity he can’t help but ask what his change in scent actually is. He feels pretty much the same, so even if his scent was muted for so long, it shouldn’t be all that different.
“Sweeter than when we were in college. Kind of like pie, the really fattening kind.” Flower leans across the counter to sniff Sidney more closely. His nose crinkles. “Maybe a little bit of vanilla too.”
“Fattening,” Sid echoes, frowning.
“Good fattening. Like that ass of yours,” Flower teases. “One day you’ll find yourself an ass man who accepts you and your scent. Which, speaking of, how long until you’re done with suppressants for good?”
Sid rolls his eyes. “Going off suppressants is only temporary. I’ll have my heat and as soon as the doctor says I can, I’ll go back on them again. I’m hoping by the end of the month I’ll be done.”
“Be careful,” Flower warns, serious.
“I know,”
*
Sid calls the agency Jen gave him first. He likes them. They give him a catalog of alphas available for booking the last week of the month with their pictures attached. He sees a few that he could deal with but none of them stick out. Even though they’re trained professionals, Sid can’t see himself spending his heat with someone he settled for—especially when he’s paying for it.
The second agency walks him through similar steps, though more detailed than the former. Along with their catalog to flip through, the woman leads Sidney into a conference room lined with closed cabinets on two of the walls. Any time Sid picks out a potential alpha, she unlocks the cabinets and offers Sidney a swatch of cloth drenched in that alpha’s scent. One alpha smells particularly good until Sid looks again at the man’s picture and sees that the guy and Flower could be brothers.
He has another week before the last of his pills are used up and though it’s cutting things close, Sid leaves the last agency without booking anyone. Over the weekend he can go back to the first to book one of the alphas his personality survey suggested.
The situation leaves Sid distracted. Usually, he’ll take the stairs but he finds himself pressing the button for the elevator. Considering their apartment building doesn’t have that many floors, the elevator works slow. He barely notices Nate coming up next to him.
“Are you okay?” the alpha asks, nudging Sid with his elbow.
Sidney blatantly, without thinking, looks Nate up and down. His skin is pink all over as if he’s scrubbed at it hard with a sponge. “Yeah,” he lies.
Nate frowns although he doesn’t call Sidney out.
The elevator doors ding as they open. It burns, the way Nate lets his hand hover at the small of Sid’s back to guide him into the elevator as if he doesn’t trust Sidney to do it himself. Nate even walks Sidney to his front door.
“I don’t want to be out of line but if there’s something bothering you, you can talk to me,” Nate offers.
“I’m okay, really,” Sid reassures his neighbor. “I’m just getting ready for my heat. It’s been a while.”
“Do you have someone to help you?” Nate asks innocently. The question of how long remains unsaid. Sidney isn’t sure he’s ready to explain this to Nate at all, let alone in the middle of the hallway.
“No,” Sid clears his throat awkwardly. “I was, uh, considering going through an agency. For a companion. A heat companion, for my heat.”
The redness in Nate’s cheeks is definitely from blushing now. “Oh? Have you—have you booked anyone yet?”
Sidney sighs, fiddling with his keychain. “I wish. None of their scents stuck out so I’m going back this weekend to look again.”
“Well, you know, I could help you out if you wanted. Scent is—I get it, it’s pretty important. If you’re okay with it, I’m sure I can clear my schedule,” Nate offers.
“Can I think about it? Let you know tomorrow, maybe?” Sid asks hesitantly. He should tell Nate no, he’ll hire a professional but Nate smells like good, like a reminder of home. Nate will think it’s rude of Sid to leave him hanging and say no. Then, he’ll go back to the agency to hire the first alpha with an opening.
Instead Nate smiles, reaching out to brush his thumb along Sid’s elbow. “Sure,” he replies.
Fuck, Sid thinks. Just fuck.
*
While Flower finds the predicament hilarious, Tanger has his serious dad-face on.
“So, then what’s the problem? Tell the guy yes. The guy is almost entirely your type,” Flower says. He omits the fact that he and Tanger have repeatedly set Sid up with guys who had been carbon copies of each other. Sid is definitely aware that he has a type.
“How do you know he’s clean? How do you know that the guy is even a good guy? Have you figured out his last name yet?” Tanger asks, though he’s more talking at Flower to get him to understand.
Sidney frowns.
“Ask him for one of those profiles the agencies have,” Flower says like the solution is easy.
“He’s actually thinking about it,” Tanger observes. “It totally means Sid decided. He’s going to sleep with his hot neighbor.”
Sidney buries his face in his hands. After he kicks his best friends out of his apartment, he’s definitely going to call Nate.
Nate ends up being extremely understanding. He sends Sid a file that turns out to be Nate’s resume and a copy of a STD test from the beginning of the month. It seems a bit too prepared, almost a bit too perfect to be true. Flower and Tanger also find it suspicious but they leave Sid’s apartment to let Sidney decide on his own.
The answer is, of course, is still yes. He’ll call the school to let them know he’ll be on heat leave next week because he’ll be spending it with his neighbor, Nathan MacKinnon.
Pairing: Meanie
Genere: Smut
Rating: Explicit
Length: Oneshot
Warning: Drug usage
Description: The one where Wonwoo and Mingyu meet at a party, get high, and fuck.
AO3
Comment: It’s not just like amazing but it’s a good work and somehow I love it a lot. So much.
Author: keytherin
Genre: Coming of age, high school au.
Warning(s): Underage drinking, smoking, mentions of sex.
Rating: PG-15
Summary:
In Sunday Service, their eyes would meet across the vast space of white pillars and wooden crosses—and Jongin would wonder how a prayer’s smile could hold so much sin.
