headcanon: life
Lenny reacts to kindness and affection in the same manner she would respond to condescending behavior. The basis of this is due to her mind being rewired through experience that being engaged in that manner equals either manipulation, mockery or is completely false. From a young age she was, by default, not a child who wanted to be held or touched; when her experience grew in that area (through those around her, namely family or the VOICE) her mind began associating the smallest touch to be something vile. During a large portion of her teenage years into young adulthood she actually endured the harshest learning curve at her most vulnerable. As she aged and grew in awareness of herself, of the monster she acknowledged herself to be, these acts became more questionable when engaged. The question being, “who the fuck would and why?” and left a disgusting taste in her mouth.
Physical engagement that isn’t violence is one she questions; it can potentially lead to stalling her if it hits a familiar nerve that gives her a good dose of deja-vu. Otherwise it will often be met with a threat of a physical proportion in return if not outright dismemberment straight out of existence. The more sincere a being is in the area of kindness, or just in sincerity towards being in her company, the less she is capable of comprehending it. In her quest for becoming the absolute death of the universe she embraces destruction, death and (ultimately) the nothingness of the void. All that opposes that becomes an area she is not interested in nor is she knowledgeable in. That’s detrimental for a reality warper, who is meant to balance creation and destruction. Lenny is already actively seeking only one half of the whole and her experiences have as well furthered her disinterest in even humoring what could potentially have been positive experiences. Touch, kindness, positivity, change and all the things she does not engage in are all forms of life that cement existence.
The only exception to this behavior is when something touches a strokes a nerve that leads to nowhere. Lenny becomes slightly obsessive to find the answer to a question she has carried for years; which often prolongs the life of said individual, though that also means they deal with the worst of her.