i can pretend i'm totally healed and fantasize about having a partner who is kind and affectionate and shit but the deep down my type is assholes. like in a they just don't really like people that much and are generally kind of misanthropic and done with everyone's bullshit. way. someone who'd seem to have bad vibes from someone on the outside who doesn't know them just on the basis that they're outward "attitude" is not friendly or particularly likeable to the average positivity obsessed neutotypical. someone who gatekeeps themself because they're done making space for stupid people. my type is jaded people essentially, because at the end of the day i want someone like me. my mother loooved to use the "you don't have to be best friends with them" excuse for making me try to get along with people i have nothing on common with or am just not compatible with but like, i have a limited amount of energy and refuse to use up my precious and valuable brain power for naught. i've said it a million times to the audience of made up people in my head but i need someone who runs on the same bandwidth and that bandwidth is an optimism desert. i need an asshole like me.















