As Leon and Ashley await for the helicopter to take them to safety, Leon is slowly spiralling, full of concern still. It is then that a ghost from his past decides to visit him.
What can I say, I had this idea already and then I saw Leshley Week... It was like the perfect excuse to write and post this one. Also this fic is quite silly but, hey, I love writing Leon's pov. Also @lightning-hawke is a sweetheart and she made sure that this was readable. Everybody please thank you to this brave soldier who had to face my 3am delusional writing.
Content: All Leon's pov, angsty and sad but also. Cathartic. Ash is asleep the whole time cos baby needed a nap after all that. Spooning, protective!Leon.
Warnings: Hallucinations, anxiety. Mention of guns, knives, zombies. Sleep deprivation. And I think that's it? Yeah, this is actually SFW, for once, haha.
It’s been three hours. Maybe four. Perhaps five.
Leon can’t sleep. He has tried it, though, but his body is still running on adrenaline and anxiety and he doubts that he will actually get some rest today.
Whatever. He has had it worse.
Ashley is passed out on the bed, curled up into herself, softly snoring. Leon blinks, trying to keep his eyes open. Even if his body is exhausted, his mind is still rushing through all the different scenarios in which this could still go wrong, heart rattling inside his chest.
What if Luis was wrong? What if the Plagas is still inside them? What if he ends up falling asleep, body going slump on this old chair and when he wakes up, he has hurt her?
God. Such idea gives him goosebumps, and he sits even farther from the bed.
What if instead, it is her? What if Ashley opens her eyes and tries to attack him?
Leon eyes the knife on the nightstand, the guns on the floor.
He knows he wouldn’t use any weapon against her, anyway. But if she hurt anyone, he’d be responsible.
God. Fuck responsibilities and guilt. It would’ve meant he had failed.
His blood runs cold then.
A failure. Assigned on what was, probably, the most important mission in his life. The president’s daughter involved, and what was supposed to be one of the top agents in the country, ruining everything. Returning a shadow of a woman, a timebomb.
Leon hides his face in his hands for a while, trying to catch his breath.
He knows he is spiralling.
He has to keep some faith: faith in Ashley, faith in Luis.
In himself, even if he is not used to it.
He looks at her, pursing his lips.
She breathes so calmly. Expression soft, features finally having some well-deserved rest. She is so gorgeous too. A soul too kind for him. He feels guilty for refusing to accept her proposal, though he is aware that being her bodyguard would have never actually been possible.
He blushes slightly, knowing that she at least wanted his company for a little longer. Maybe he is not so useless after all. She had also asked him to hold her to sleep, but he had simply shaken his head. “You’ll be fine, I promise. You’ll probably have a better rest taking up the whole bed”.
He sighs, crossing his arms. Leon is not sure how long it will take until the helicopter arrives. He hopes it is soon, because his head hurts and he feels hungry but he can’t leave her side and he definitely doesn’t trust the police officers next door.
No, scratch that.
He wishes the helicopter never arrives.
Because that means it is all over.
His gaze softens as he looks at her, feeling his heart pulling at its strings. For a moment, he considers it. A life with her. Visiting her at the White House. Maybe indeed fighting to accept the bodyguard position, his hand on her back as he keeps her safe once more, the sound of her laugh. The idea of getting acquainted with her shampoo brand, learning her favourite colour, kissing her forehead.
He is spiralling again, but this time in a more dangerous direction. Leon cracks his knuckles, yawning.
There is no point into wasting time thinking of all this. He can’t afford to lose footing in reality. And the reality is forcing him to remember that only a few hours they had both been fighting a Plagas, and he can’t be completely sure that the coast is clear. The mission isn’t over until she is back home, until they both reach American ground.
His foot starts hitting the floor quickly, as his headache gets even worse. He has to keep himself awake, he can’t lose focus.
At any given point Ashley could wake up and look at him with those soft doe eyes and ask anything, anything from him and, god, he’d give her the world, but first… But first he has to make sure that they’re both safe.
She’s make him feel like a worthy prince.
He can’t lose the princess for being careless.
He feels thirsty but he doesn’t even want to move his eyes away from her. His heart picks up when he thinks her chest stops moving up and down, but he realises it is his mind playing tricks on him as she sighs again.
Fuck. He is really losing his shit. He’s been trained for this crap. He barely sleeps anyway.
He curses in a whisper and looks down, grabs the water bottle next to his foot and sits down again.
That’s when he notices there is someone else in the room.
How? How would that be possible? There is no fucking way. It takes him just a second to fucking comprehend what is going on, but in an instant he has his knife on his fist, standing up as he approaches the figure, ready to attack the stranger.
The knife doesn’t hit anything.
Leon stills his movements then, realising that he recognises the face in front of him: the dirty-bloodied uniform, the stupid toothy smile, the look of hope in his eyes.
It’s him. The ghost of his younger version, the one from Raccoon City, stands before him.
“Fuck off,” Leon groans. He knows now that he is hallucinating. “Go away,” he pleads, in a growl, sitting down once more. His fucking head feels like about to explode.
“Buddy, I don’t think I’m going anywhere,” answers the more excitedly voice.
Leon considers replying, but he doesn’t want to wake Ashley up. The poor thing has already gone through too much, the least she needs at the moment is the man that is supposed to keep her safe having a full-on discussion with himself.
Fucking insane. He hides his face in his hands.
It’s not the first time it’s happened, that’s for sure. He’s gone through it all: hallucinations for being sleep-deprived, sleep paralysis after the most excruciating missions.
Most of the times it’s not even monsters, or zombies. Most times it’s people he knew: Annette, Ada a couple of times too. Last time it was Marvin, his body bloody and his eyes white as he swears he could hear his cries of pain still.
He wonders if maybe Luis will join as well, sometime, another painful reminder of his failures.
But himself? This was new.
“What the fuck do you want?” he mumbles. It Is stupid, Leon knows that. But perhaps by talking to this ghost of himself he could get rid of it faster, make sure he can go back to guard Ashley.
“Heh, I think it is obvious what you want,” the high-pitched voice replies. Leon looks up a moment, seeing the rookie sitting on the floor next to the bed, pointing at Ashley.
“Very funny,” Leon groans.
“What? Are you gonna deny it? I’m literally you.”
“Just, shut up.”
Surprisingly, that works. When Leon looks up once more, the figure isn’t there. He yawns, rubbing his temple. Maybe he is gone, for real. Maybe his mind will stop playing tricks on him now. He resumes his watch, his whole attention directed towards Ashley.
He is not even sure what time it is now, but he hopes it won’t be too long. At this point, he is being more of a nuisance than an actual help, a real protection for her. He knows he will have to sleep soon.
Not yet, though. Not fucking yet. He has to fucking hold on, try to keep it together.
“Hey, maybe you should get some actual sleep,” the voice suddenly interrupts him, now coming from next to him.
Leon almost stumbles from his chair, heart racing.
“Jesus fucking Christ!” he half-shouts, and immediately purses his lips, embarrassed.
The rookie, the fucking rookie, sitting down next to him.
“Sorry, just trying to help,” he mumbles.
Leon shakes his head. He doesn’t want to say anything else. He is sure he almost woke Ashley up. He decides to acknowledge this presence, since it is becoming quite clear that it is not leaving for now.
“What do you want? Don’t fucking say Ashley, I swear to God,” he whispers, ashamed.
“Well, you’re the one that should know that. Your brain is literally hallucinating me at this point.”
“Yeah, no shit, Sherlock. I can’t sleep yet,” he replies, crossing his arm as he stands up, trying to walk around the room a little, forcing his body not to pass out.
“You look incredibly nervous, dude,” his younger version chuckles, seemingly amused.
“I’m not.”
“Why are you walking around, then?”
“Well, someone has to make sure the president’s daughter doesn’t die on my watch. I’d say that’s some pretty big responsibility,” his heart is about to get out of his chest, and he is sweating.
The headache is now deeper, more annoying.
“She is safe now, Jesus Christ. Give yourself some credit, man.”
“She is not,” Leon suddenly replies.
“She is. Don’t you trust Luis? Do you think he would have lied to you?”
That does stop him in his tracks. Perhaps the rookie has a point. Leon nods, slowly. In the darkness of the room, he looks at his arms. The veins are normal still. He hasn’t had any weird visions since they got the Plagas expelled.
Well, except for the unpleasant vision that his own mind conjures. Maybe even more annoying than Lord Saddler’s ones.
He doesn’t acknowledge the rookie, though, but he comes back to sit on the chair.
“How many hours has it been now?” this ghost insists.
“I dunno.”
“You do know.”
God. He didn’t remember his younger voice being that annoying. Leon inhales, trying to calm himself down.
“Five hours,” he replies after a moment.
“If any of you were still infected, don’t you think the Plagas would have acted up by now? Also, Lord Saddled is dead now. There is no one controlling the Plagas now. All the Ganado died, remember?”
Leon hates that the little kid is right.
“I guess that’s true,” Leon admits.
The rookie laughs.
“She is fine. You don’t need to keep watching over her like a creep. I mean, not that we are being creepy…”
Leon interrupts himself: “Just go to the point, man”.
The rookie looks up at him, glittering eyes full of hope and a gentle small on his face.
“Look, I thought I was the rookie here, but you’re being a whole amateur now,” he stands up, in silence. “The patrol is over, rookie”.
Leon looks at himself. That shadow of himself, too full of hope and of light. He blinks, still processing the rookie’s words… His own words, echoing from and inside his head.
The patrol is over.
Fuck.
He slumps on the chair, eyes welling up with tears. For a moment, he lets himself cry in silence, under the soft sound of Ashley’s breathing. He breaks down a little, feels pity for himself, as well as relief. He dries off his tears with his palm, trying not to be too much of a mess in case she wakes up. He should be strong still. He needs to be.
By now, the headache is unbearable and his eyes hurt, a combination of exhaustion and the tears. But he knows it’s true: they’re both safe. He saved her. Ashley is safe. And even if he can’t have her, if this story ends in a few hours, he can still breathe without regrets. He can even make sure that their last memories together are something pleasant, something nice and comforting.
Leon tries to calm his breathing. He looks up, still curious as to whether the old presence is still there, but not anymore.
No more ghosts in the room. Just Ashley and him now.
With heavy steps he moves towards the bed, dizzy by now. He lies down on the bed and allows himself to breathe against Ashley’s shoulder, timidly holding her from behind. He grips her body close to his, knowing this is the only and last time he’ll have this chance. And even if she is half-asleep, Ashley sighs, content on her sleep, as Leon closes his eyes, finally allowing himself to rest.
The patrol is over and so is their story. But for a while, they can still lie close together, in the dark. Both finally safe, at last.
My brain actually wanted to be mean and make it Marvin instead of Rookie Leon but you know what. I don't need to break my heart like that SO much. Let Leon be angry at himself, it's fun, lol.
For @kod23pm ‘s Leshley week!!!!!!!!!! I’m so sorry these are so late I’ve been SO BUSY BUT I wanted to do something for this week regardless of the fact that I don’t personally ship them cuz Kod set up S U C H an amazing event full of just the loveliest people on planet earth and seeing all the art so far has TRULY truly truly made my entire week!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Go give Kod some love she deserves it!!!!!
For the Crossover AU prompt I did Luis and Ashley as Shmendrick and Molly Grue from The Last Unicorn cuz it’s my absolute FAVOURITE movie of all time and for the Wedding prompt I had the silly idea of Luis being one of those semi-annoying guests that just takes photos of everything- I hope I wasn’t breaking any rules of the week for that one!!
Btw I’m Saccharine_smiles on ao3 and I write a lot of Leshley fics 🤭 here’s my contributions to Leshley Week 2023! https://archiveofourown.org/works/51867823/chapters/131378770 (ch.4 is my favorite)
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