#less abstract

[fadingwombatpanda]

I didn't get the job... Is this how Hillary felt on election night?

[fadingwombatpanda]

I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm so nervous. I don't think I'm ready.

If I got this job everything could change for the better. I feel like I have to get this.

[fadingwombatpanda]

Anxious energy

have this feeling sometimes when I am trying to relax or play a video game or something. It feels like  I am relaxing wrong. Or not relaxing fast enough. Although I’m not sure that’s the best way to describe it. Basically I want to sit down and play a game and I look at my list of games and there isn’t anything on it I want to play right now but I feel like I need to play a game because if I don’t it means I have to do one of the many things I have been procrastinating but I don’t want to do that because of how tired and burnt out I feel. So I want to force myself to relax because if I don’t I am going to continue to feel burnt out and tired thus continuing the endless cycle, that I’d absolute hate to keep doing so there is that. 

I’m going to try not to force myself to do things I don’t want to do. okeyyyy

[fadingwombatpanda]

In retrospect at least the only thing wounded is my ego and my wallet. I need to take this as a lesson and do better. Because this is not it.

Less abstract: my heart broke cuz how girl treat me and my car broke cuz my anger lol.

[fadingwombatpanda]

Why?

Why am I sad she asked me... as I sat across from her I didn’t want to answer. I told her the truth because I don’t lie. But I didn’t tell her why. In my anger its easy to want to blame her. But it isn’t her fault. I’ve handled this situation all wrong. 

[fadingwombatpanda]

Clarity comes from honestly. The biggest issue I think I have is that I lie to myself.

[fadingwombatpanda]

I personally find that I volunteer too much of myself to others. I think I do it out of desperation for connection but it's not something I need to do. I find when I give less of myself people are still on my side. I feel like I am putting my life on hold for others. I'll give an example. I have a friend that I hang out with on usually a weekly basis. Sometimes they would ask me to go to their house and get food and things of that nature. Usually I'm always down like a yes man. You say when and where I pop up. This week it was the same thing and I said I was busy (when in reality I'm just hanging out with someone else) and all of a sudden they are asking to visit me and giving me attention. Idk if I am looking at this situation the wrong way. But I think from my perspective I undervalue myself is what I am saying. This is just one example as well. It's funny that I talk about it abstractly I need to be less abstract and more situational.

[joshdevereauxart]

idle thoughts