Can we be back at 2 AM yesterday?
The ramblings from my head at 2 AM today are killing me. But also not.
What’s going on in my head right now?
Maybe he’s mad at me. Maybe he’s mad because he has a mark or two. But I’m all marked up too.
Maybe I did something weird in my sleep?
This is all insane. I’m over fucking reacting and I’m just making things complicated in my head for nothing.
I miss him. That makes me sad. But I also kind of like having him to miss. I wish I knew if he missed me.
He said he liked me. But he didn’t kiss me this morning when I left. Whatever that’s petty. He probably had gnarly morning breath or something. Not that I would care. Just kiss me damnit. Everything you do is perfect anyway.
He liked my picture on Instagram but didn’t text me back. Why? I hate social media. I really, REALLY, fucking hate social media.
I just can’t get enough of him. I want to know everything about him. I want to spend more time with him. I know he has minimal time to spend though. I just want to see him before I leave for DC.
He’s going to text me back eventually, right? I wonder if he’s going to [one place for work] tomorrow, or [one place for fun]? If he does none of the above will he tell me? I can’t even remember if none was an option. Fuck, I just want to see him again.
I can’t believe how perfectly kind and sweet and respectful he was last night. I think he’s [almost] everything I want. (Scratch that: after re-reading tonight, there’s no almost. He is.)
He wouldn’t talk about future plans and things we should do if he didn’t want to continue to see me or hang out with me would he? “We will change that” he said. And he wouldn’t tell me all those major secrets about majorly important people (close to him, popular to others) if he didn’t trust me or plan on keeping me around, right?
He said he likes me too.
“I like it.” “I like you.” “I like you.” “You’re cute.” “You’re cute.”
Hahaha writing that makes me want to gag but also makes me so happy. Fuck. Just text me back.
There’s no one in the world I would rather wait for. The weirdest part is I’m not even antsy because I feel like you’re going to leave as much as I’m antsy about when I’m going to hear from or see you next.
Please watch the meteor showers with me. I’ll stay up all night if I have to, just to see you.
I would. I would do anything for another minute of your time. And I think that scares me. Because for some reason writing that put tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. But there’s nothing to even cry about.
What the fuck is this? Am I completely insane? Have I lost my mind entirely?
Hell, when I read this tomorrow I’m probably going to offer to section myself. There’s no way this doesn’t sound like psychotic ramblings.
I like you. I like you.