#letterstojd

[flawless-sin]

“I hated when you smoked. Your lips always tasted like burning wood. He smokes too, but his lips taste like the water to my burning house. He’s my firefighter.”

-Luna

[velvettempestt]

There's so much I want to say but I don't know how to talk to you now or if I should. I don't know what to do. I want so badly to do the right thing. I'm trying to give you space and leave things alone. I think of you every single day. You're always there. I'm sorry I was so selfish. I'm sorry I was so thoughtless and careless. I can be so pushy and tempermental. I can't imagine what you're going through, clearly, and I didn't honor that. I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it (and partly because I was so sure it was what you wanted, too!) and it just made me entirely uncouth and distasteful. I feel like I've made a real mess of things and to say anything else may only make it worse. I don't know. I don't mean to push, I am trying to be so careful, but to be stuck in limbo like I've been...it is hard. Know that I love you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I pray for you and in my softest petitions I pray for us. I miss you. I love you. I hope to hear from you soon. Hayley Williams' music is getting me through a lot of this. She wrote, "I will love you forever if that won't make it worse."

And I will. I do.

[flawless-sin]

Scene Twenty-seven.

Twenty-seven laps around the sun and twenty-seven years being a daughter. Twenty-two years a sister and twenty years a friend. Fifteen years of loving my self and eleven years of falling in love with others. Five years of being a mother and three days into a new chapter.

-Luna

[flawless-sin]

Dear JD,

Truth be told I’m scared of commitment. What if you don’t love me the way I love you?

Luna

[flawless-sin]

Dear JD,

It’s been 11 years, yet I still sit here hopeful that one day you’ll come to me. How much longer must I yearn for your soul?

Luna

[flawless-sin]

Dear JD,

I gave the best parts of myself to the versions of you that didn’t deserve me… yet I’m still hopeful that a better you is out there, somewhere still waiting for a healed me.

Luna

[flawless-sin]

Dear JD,

I miss you. I miss the way you say my name, and the way you trace my skin with your fingertips. I miss your smoke filled kisses leaving me helpless and out of breath.

Luna

[flawless-sin]

Dear JD,

I decided to get a water color pad to paint stupid pictures next to the dumb poems I wrote you when I was up all night imagining your body lying next to mine.

Luna