notable moments from The Fairy Godparents Job
leverage 2.04
parker trying to console their client and failing HORRIBLY
she’s trying her best, your honor
+
Parker: That went super!
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hardison and eliot are wearing the same color shirt, like the EXACT SAME color ???
matching boyfriends
also eliot is wearing the hair braids again 🥰
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parker making herself at home, getting cereal and perching on the edge of eliot’s chair
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sophie coming in and immediately eating (cookies)? me too
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Hardison: Fowler's confined to his $6 million penthouse overlooking the Charles River.
Eliot: Yeah, that's a rough punishment, huh?
Hardison: The whole place is outfitted with 24/7 surveillance so the feds can keep an eye on him. Now, (hits button) we can, too. I piggybacked on their wireless feed
parker and eliot smile brightly at hardison’s cleverness I love it
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Sophie: Still, for us to get in and search the place, we've got to get rid of Fowler.
Nate: Now, there are three general exceptions for house arrest. There's personal safety, death of a relative, and family events.
Eliot: Personal safety. We could burn the apartment down.
Parker: Ooh! Ooh! (raises hand)
Eliot: Or death of a relative
eliot being chaotic and parker being HERE FOR IT also stfu we all know you wouldn’t kill anybody
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Nate: Uh, w- who's that?
Hardison: Oh. Oh, the kid. Kid's from her first marriage. Widmark.
Eliot: Oh, I'm sorry. "Widmark"?
Hardison: Rich people, man.
Eliot: Geez..
big mood
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Hardison: He's a fifth-grade student at Dalton Academy. Academically unexceptional. No extracurriculars. He's allergic to strawberries.
Parker (laughs): Strawberries...
HER LAUGH
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Sanford: Mark Sanford. I'm head of the concerned parents association.
Nate: That must be very exciting for you
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I wonder if they actually wrote a book for nate’s cover story
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[Apartment above the Fowler’s]
(Parker and Hardison are walking through an empty apartment with a real estate agent)
Real Estate Agent: Open floor plan. 3,200 square feet. Uh, panoramic views of the park and the Charles. Uh, there's a fitness center, a rooftop pool, uh, concierge service. It's the perfect newlywed apartment.
Hardison: Oh, it's, the place, it's fantastical. What do you think, Binky?
Parker (head and shoulders inside ductwork): It's a little small.
Hardison: Th-the apartment, Binky. What do you think of the apartment? We'll take it. She, she loves air
this is hilarious but you couldn’t convince me that this is exactly what would happen if they went house hunting for real (brewpub ??? I think the fuck so)
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(Skyler trips Widmark, who falls to the floor)
Eliot: Hey. You. Take your helmet off. What's your name?
Skyler: Skyler Sanford.
Eliot: Sky... Skyler?
Skyler: Yeah.
Eliot: Is that a boy's name? Don't do that again. Put your hat on. You're up against Wid--
(Eliot sees that Widmark has gotten back on the line)
Eliot: I said get out there, man. Get out here.
(the boys move onto the mat)
Eliot: All right.
(Widmark struggles with his helmet as kids giggle)
Eliot: What are you doing, man? What are you doing? (to kids) Don't laugh! What are you doing? (whispering) There's girls here. You're better than that. Turn your hat around
I personally didn’t like this scene with him making fun of the kid’s name but he did technically deserve it because he was a bully + the whole girls thing? I mean I guess that’s a motivator but idk he could have said something different
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(Parker is installing a motion detector above a doorway)
Parker: Stop moving!
Hardison (kneeling for Parker to stand on): Look— it don't have to be exact. Woman, it's a motion detector. Just point it that way.
Parker: Watch out..
poor hardison she’s standing on his back WEARING H E E L S
+
THEIR MATCHING OUTFITS THO
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Hardison: R- right. Right. Right. So, uh, what you all been up to?
Taggert: Well, actually, we've had a pretty good run of it lately. Closed some big cases.
McSweeten: Big.
Taggert: Moscone, for one.
McSweeten: Moscone, no more-ne.
Taggert: We also shut down a huge meth ring in California during a bank robbery.
the bit about them directly profiting off of the leverage crew? hilarious every time
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Eliot: (swinging the thing in his hand) One of you two can identify the gunman, right?
Hardison: Oh, yeah, sure. He stopped and let me take a picture of him as I was chasing him.
Eliot: Hey, you know what, man? I've been around little kids all day. I don't need to come home and do all this crap.
Hardison: Hey, man, with all that? I've been in this pink shirt and these tight plaid pants, these old webster loafers, this girl is walking on my back. I don't need this, man.
married bickering
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(Parker hands Eliot the pad she’s been drawing on that has a picture of the gunman)
Eliot: Is this the guy?
Parker: Mm-hmm.
Eliot: See? (tosses the pad on the table)
Hardison: Wow. I didn't know you could do that.
Parker: I thought everybody could do that
SHES SO TALENTED + her boys are behind her v impressed
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the smooth lil handoff of the metal detector phone between parker and hardison
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Nate: Eliot had trouble adjusting, all right? But he found a way to make his style work in this setting, so...
[Gym]
(Eliot leads the kids through martial arts movements)
Eliot: Hai! Pain! Honor! Strength! All right. Come at me!
(all of the girls rush him at once, taking him to the ground)
eliot, when faced with having to teach a gym class for little girls: thEY MUST BE ABLE TO PROTECT THEMSELVES
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(Parker puts a takeout cup down on the middle of some blueprints. Hardison sighs and takes it off the blueprints)
Hardison: This is why we can't have nice things
bruh you’re literally no better you have literally NO right
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McSweeten: Oh, that one's actually mine.
(Parker drinks from the cup and smiles at him)
McSweeten: Uh, I just had my lips on that. If, uh, it's like I gave you a little coffee kiss.
Taggert: I think your partner is sweet on McSweeten.
Hardison: What? No.
(turns to see Parker and McSweeten laughing by the window)
hardison: *whips his head around* NO WHAT NOT ON MY WATCH
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Taggert: No? Well anyway. (pulls a letter from his pocket) Uh, the judge approved Fowler's day pass so he can go see some play his kid is doing at school.
Hardison: Final-freaking-ly, man! I-I love the theater. It's-- "Cats". R- reow
that whole cats thing hits different post-2019
(no doubt, hardison has OPINIONS™ about that movie)
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hardison poorly rappelling throughout the series is an aesthetic
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Widmark (comes out of the stall): Do you have a lot of friends?
Sophie: No. No, I-I never used to have any. But, um, now, yes, I-I do. A few.
her SMILE your honor
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Sophie: Did you know I was an actress?
Widmark: No. Are you good?
Sophie: Well, others don't seem to think so.
Widmark: Maybe they just can't see you for who you are.
Sophie: Do you know what they say about acting? They say it's about telling the truth, about, about sharing a little part of yourself that people don't normally see. But if you don't--if you don't really know yourself then they think you're lying. And I think that's my problem. I've been lying for so long, that, um, I don't even know what the truth is anymore.
Widmark: I don't want to lie to anybody.
Sophie: No. No, you don't have to, Widmark. What you need to do is you just have to go out there and be Widmark. Just tell the truth. Be, be who you really are. If you can do that, then I promise you, people will believe in you
this was a slightly sophie-centric episode and I loved it
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Nate: Well, you know, this is interesting. This must be a-a first. I mean, it's the only time I can remember that the con depended solely on you telling the truth. How'd it feel?
Sophie: Eh, good. Don't get used to it.
Nate: Oh, no. No.
Sophie: I start telling the truth all day, I stop being Sophie Devereaux.
Nate: Maybe that's, uh, A good thing. (walks away)
Sophie: Uh-uh