at the hugo boss photoshoot lo and emre were pushing and shoving each other like "you're in my light" "NO YOU ARE"
10 mins in and the photoshoot hasnt yet cus emre and lo havent turned up,
hendo-were are they, -still in hair and makeup - what why - emre is still doing his hair cus he said theres a strand outta place and loris is layering on the foundation, hendo-what why he flawless skin , hendo screaming over, EMRE UR HAIR IS FINE GET OUT HERE NOW, 10 more mins gone and hendo is ready to kill the both of them
studge going to find them and getting distracted by sorting his own hair out and the photographer gives up cus hes tired of waiting and hendo is actually gonna kill them all
and they all start fighting abt where to sit or stand and emre is like you sit down lo you're a midget and lo is like IM YOUR SIZE and both refuse to sit down to prove a point so hendo is like FINE I'LL SIT DOWN ending up looking like a dad in a family portrait
imagine emre and lo take like pics together but it takes forever cus all they do is push and shove each other and loris scuffs up emres hair and emre gets so mad and storms to hair and makeup to sort it out and loris laughs his ass off and takes individuals till then and emre comes back and shoves him and the poor photographer cant catch a break with these two and emre's all like im a better poser than u are, and that turns into a ridiculous posing competition or something and they both look like idiots,
hendo-cant u two do anything without making it a competition, shakes his head and walks away exasperated
its so a THING where lo will be sitting next to emre its all peaceful and then as emre is taking a selfie lo will reach up and ruffle his hair and emre just lets out this shriek COS IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME and emre never sees it coming
and hes so close to tears everysingle time it happens and loris just absolutely pisses himself laughing, emre complains to hendo cus hendo feels his pain
emre has just started fighting back by photobombing lo's selfie's hendo might have gave him that advice but he'd never admit it as captain he has to be "neutral"
the photobombing situation would be so funny, EMRE U RUINED ANOTHER PICTURE, RUINED I MADE IT BETTER BITCH, BETTER?? GET UR UGLY ASS HEAD AWAY FROM MY PICS, UR UGLY ASS PICS NEED MY HEAD TO MAKE THEM LOOK BETTER, FUCK YOU I LOOK FINE, emre laughs for five minutes cus loris is sooooo offended, poor bean
it happens every single time and every single time its the exact same fight and everyone else is like what do you guys have a script or something
yh neutral but hendo is totes on emre's side, and loris knows it was him so he teams up with adam to make hendo jealous, and it totally works,and adam and his lozza sit on one side of the dressing room and emre and hendo sit on the other just giving each other the silent treatment and milly walks in looks at them and goes "....oh klopp is gonna love this
and when they team up for stretches and its hendo and emre not hendo and adam and klopp thinks hes entered another universe and he sees loris giving hendo daggers and hendo giving them right back cus there both jealous fucks and klopp trying not to laugh his ass off, but he calls milly over and asks what happened now??? and hes like no idea but im enjoying it
gini and emre have a race in training that emre wins and gini dont even care that he lost,
and then emre looks over at loris like
"I WON THE BET BITCH"
emre ur so gonna lose the race i bet u 50 quid, hmmmm im gonna win bitch u watch, emre looking over all smugly at lo like u owe me 50 quid,
, loris screaming at gini like u did that on purpose, why did u let him win, gini acting clueless and walking away,emre just strollin up to lo like "you're payin for dinner im feeling like having a 3 course today"
"the biggest tactic is you don't pick a fight" "....you what now" hes defintily getting into a fight over that one, but klopp what am i supposed to do when idiots do dumb things , walk away emre walk away, but i cant u dont understand, emre just walk away, BUT THEY , emre dont pick a fight, i dont like this tactical decision, delete it,
and when emre drops his inspirational quote the whole team teases him and dejan is prolly gonna ask emre to lunch just to take the piss out of his edit, and emre shrugging like i cant help that im inspirational and dejan laughing his ass off and being like can u hear urself.
it would be the case of their having lunch and it's nice and fun and then dejan goes casually "you know what emre sometimes I feel [quotes the post]" emre stops eating midway and just looks at him like.....you shit and EMRE BECOMES THE MEME AT MELWOOD, and they all randomly thro the quote his way and hes like UR ALL JUST JEALOUS ,KLOPP DROPS INTO A PRESS CONFERENCE whilst emre face palms and regrets his life,
gini and klavan are neighbours and live in the same building (its actually cannon, trust me, theres a vid)
and gini keeps ragnars kids up with his super loud music and then klavan gets his revenge in training
and i can imagine them both tryin to outsing each other or somethin or they have a music volume battles
but can u imagine ragnar tries his hardest to nutmeg gini in training to get him back
ragnar f i have to hear little birds one more time i`ll kill someone klavan
okay but them havin breakfast together before trainin or something and carpools to training and arriving together, there such a big family and melwood is there home i
gini babysittin ragnars kids and ragnar is rlly strict about their bedtime and he comes home to them awake at midnight and theyve made a furniture fort with gini
and ragnar is like gini u had one job, one job how do u fail to do that but gini brings out that smile and rag cant be mad at him no more, cus THE SMILE, gini gets outta everything with that smile,
and ginis like they werent tired yet, but rag knows hes a big child so he just shakes his head cus his kids are happy and its a pretty decent fort if hes being honest
and they’re so comfy living next to each other they just keep their doors open so more often than not he’ll be chillin n gini will appear out of nowhere to say hi, and gini is always invited round for dinner cus rag is worried he just lives on pot noodles, and hes like a big brother to the kids, and the kids love when he comes round cus hes so fun
and you kno gini has his own lil spot under the klavan xmas tree and he comes round on christmas morning just to say merry christmas and give the kids a present but the kids invite him in and they got him a present too and he gets a little emosh and he stays for breakfast,
the klavans adopted gini its cannon
and we like to think lo has moved in with emre now tht him and annelie arent together anymore
and lo’s like so emre i have a spare room, and the apartments big so like………..‘so like what are u gonna move out’ no i was thinking like …… get to the point loris
i can imagine he has this speech planned out and he’s stutterin and ads just pipes up all jealous like he wants to move in w you ok just say yes
emres stunned face would be priceless, and hes like awww really, awww i feel honoured ’ loris- i take it back u prickbt emre stays yes cus there like partners in crime and it would be lit, so emre decorates his stupid tree and lets him take credit
and lo has forced him to get a tree cos xmas is for everyone and lo will leave if there aint a tree
i think loris recruited the team to do his tree cus he doesnt have a clu what hes doing,and he would just be sat there lettn them do the work and every so often be like yeah thats great mmm yep nice but the whole time hes on his phone
emre and lo being like look emre i brought u a tie, U BROUGHT ME A TIE, WTF, thats the worst present in the history of the world and emre’s like who are u to talk you brought me a fucking bathrobethe fuck shall i do with that, whatever cheapskate ur stupid tie if from the lfc shop , WELL SO IS UR BATHROBE,
they both eventually agree they brought horrendous presents
okay but they all go in a christmas weekend away lo and emre in the name of spite refuse to wear anything else than the stuff they bought so emre will wear nothing but the fluffy bathrobe “emre take that robe off you’re not comin to dinner in that” “emre take it OFF” “MILLY YOU NEVER CARE ABOUT FASHION WHY DO YOU CARE NOW”
ans lo wears the tie around this head one day because he’s getting bored with the old look “why are you wearing a tie around your head” “why not” “i hate you for making that look work” “thank you ads”“I want to wear what they’re wearing” “Alby I swear to GOD”
cus why not, these were in another post but i thought id put them all together, written with sej
high school musical is totally this teams thing ok
they constantly sing WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER cus its totally their song
and THEY SING IT EVERYWHERE, IN THE LOCKER ROOM AFTER A WIN, WHERE THERE ALL HIGH OFF ADRENALINE AND THEY GET KLOPP TO JOIN IN TOO AND THEY SING SO LOUD
and always after a win, and even when they lose cus they really are in this together and it makes them feel better, and it becomes there thing
and hendo is totally troy and Adam is totally his gabreila
and this team is totally high school musical trash ADAM IS SO GABRIELLA and milly is chad and i dont dance is their jam
and studge is totes sharpay
Can you imagine they’re all throwing refs around and marko is like…..I don’t get it…..and everyone just. Stops.And then they bombard his home later for a hsm sesho
k but when there watching and one of them (alberto) starts talking they all get so offended and milly smacks him across the head and tells him to shut the fuck alberto,
and albeto totally tries to sing along to the tracks and he follows the english subs, and everyone laughs and joins in too and then he tries to copy the moves to bop to the top and then he gets everyone up they start from the beginning and dance along to everything at training the next day,
they do the getcha head in the game with the footballs and klopp is like………okay cool but pls fill me in
6 HOURS OF HSM AND MARKO IS NOW A NEW PERSON CUS HES BEEN BLESSED PROPERLY,SO THATS WHY you keep shouting “getcha head in the game”
and then he constantly makes hsm references
and they learn all the dance routines and have them down to a tee like 2 weeks later, and the amount of inside jokes ok,
even when there all chilling at melwood it turns into karaoke and one day mils pushes hendo and adam forward and gets them to re-act the troy/gabriella karaoke scence,
and they do it and its even better than the original
and STUDGE IS TRYING TO CARRY HUGO LIKE SHARPAY CARRIES HER DOGa
,studge is the best sharpay ever to exist and he does the duet with alberto, and it turns out like when they did the studge dance, kinda perf but messy
“i told you not to do the studge dance” “its a crowd favourite everyone loves the studge dance”[play on the jazz square scene]
and the lads totally chant what team constantly
LIVERPOOL BOYS SCREAMING THIS, ALL THE ;LADS JUST LIKE WHAT TEAM!!!!!!!!
now or never in hsm3 was so the Dortmund game
real talk one time when the chant starts one of lads screams WILDCATS while the rest all scream LIVERPOOL and they all spend the next hour completely dying over it,
hendo: [BIGGGG SPEECH] …studge? Studge: HEY WHAT TEAM team: WILDCATSLIVERPOOLWHATWAIT
the chant is the first thing on the pre season itinerary and its the last part of the lfc initiation is just a huge chant going around the room and everytime a new lad comes in the chant is started just to make them feel welcome,
even walking in from training they start the chant
okay but Alby def made stupid silly comments during hsm 2 he just couldn’t take it seriously and then gotta go my own way is going on and all of a sudden the boys hear this WAAAAAAAIL and turn to see alby sobbing into a pillowl
, and there all like whatttttt??????, and alberto is like but … they..b-broke up…they canttttt, que more crying, and the lads are in hysterics cus they all know they get back together but poor alberto doesnt
and in everyday when gabriella starts singing alby is like that’s her voice…..and then runs up to the screen THAT’S HER VOICE WHERE IS SHE
and then he sees her and he starts crying again and then troy starts singing too and he sobs, and then bobby starts signing the song and alberto gets up off the floor and start signing too, que another karoke hsm sesh
alberto totally dyed his hair blonde cus of sharpay u cant convince me otherwise
“im just bopping my way to the top” “[collective groan around dressing room]
Alby wants to be sharpay so bad the others are all dying when he enters training and studge is like mate taking it a bit far arent we, and alby is like SHE IS MY ROLE MODEL,
THEY TAKE PISS OUTTA HIM FOREVER
phil just staring at him like ……..oh my god i thought you were prank calling me…..milly walkin in sees it and walks out goin "IM TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT”
hendo being like alby liking the new hair and everyone being like DONT ENCOURAGE HIMMMMM,
god knows how much physical pain emre was in when he saw it “you just…….you just dont do that to your hair, what did his hair ever do to deserve that”
and lo is like chill emre its not that bad, emre “oh of course bleach blonde barbie approves”
loris shoves him and ruffles albertos hair, cus well hes been a bleach blonde before and it was fun
headcannons that i wrote with sej but never posted :( but anyway here ya go (1)
when hendo scores that screamer, marko cant believe what he’s seeing,
“WAS THAT GOAL REAL LORIS WAS IT REAL” “YES MARKO IT WAS REAL
okay loris being like hendo’s gonna score and when he does loris like OH YESSSS I WAS RIGHT and Marko is like….holy shit you genius….
so now marko is totally in awe of loris and they start taking about random shit with interruptions of OO HES GONNA SCORE not, and crying on each other when we conceded,
marko and loris are #total bros, they are like the same type of person its weird
i can imagine loris being so outraged when we conceded NO NO WHY HIM NOT HIM THIS IS ANNOYING
, AND MARKO IS ALL NOOOO, and getting a little scared at loris’ non chill but hes kinda the same, and there both swearing or something and klopp looks back and grins cus these are his sons, and they totally learnt from him,
zeljko smacks him on the arm and tells he shouldnt be proud that his footballers are swearing
okay but klopp jumpping to his feet and opens his mouth to scream and then he just hears this massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! and turns around to see loris and marko on their feet and klopp is like….well ok…did my job for me then
and they see klopp looking at them and they get all shy and embarrassed and sit down and klopp laughs but there back on their feet the next minute,
LORIS AND MARKO TOTALLY GO ON ROAD TRIPS AROUND ENGLAND TOGETHER, marko has totally found the buddy who’s willing to travel england with him
BECAUSE MARKO HAS THE NICEST CARS IN THE WORLD AND LO CHERISHES THEM SO MARKO MAKES HIM HIS ROAD TRIP BUDDY
and its totally like ok like the most lit thing ever and they take so many pics and they have the same taste in music and they take turns driving and stuff,
they totally #bond on there road trips and marko snapchats the whole thing and loris sends emre and sham cool pics, and they come to training with so many stories
and dejan and emre are ultimate bantz bros and dejan is like why didnt u congratulate me on my goal emre
and emre being all like pssshhh anyone coulda scored that. hendo had the beauty and dejan scoffing and smiling bye
dejan totally ruffles emre’s hair and everyone else is like how hasnt dejan lost a hand yet.
cus dont touch the hair dude
klopp worked out that the third kit is a curse and he got sick of loris and emre whining about the disgusting colour, which klopp doesnt get why lo does it cus the dude has to where it all the time,
but he still moans, and well klopp cant be bothered liistening to it, and he put them away in storage, anything for his fave german sons
Pleeeease klopp the toxic green is horrible to wear 😩😩😩 klopp: loris your kit is grey??? Loris: yeah but emre won’t shut up so I’m suffering too
klopp shakes his head cus he dealt with mario and marco at bvb but these two are wORSE
And hes like FINE, and tells the kitmen to hide them or something cus he aint putting up with this,and emre is so pleased now he doesnt have to wear it but he teases the fuck outta loris and lo is like im telling klopp to bring them backkkk just for you,
and emre is proper fiesty on the pitch and loris is like
“really emre picking another fight really”“do I have to fucking babysit u or what. whats ur problem emre”. “he fuckin tried to touch my hair”. “the bitch ill fight him for u”
GIVE ME MY PHONE LORIS, Wait up em , emre tries to grab it, LAST ONE EMRE COME ON
que the slap round the head from emre
and lo does it AGAIN but emre doesnt know and for ages emre isnt getting messages everyone thinks he’s giving them the cold shoulder and he’s like??? wtf???? then sees all the pictures which are like different angles of lo’s hair
cue emre storming into the dressing room everyone like oh shit its going down and emre just glares at lo and is like “YOU!!!!”
and everyone is like trying not to laugh cus oooo serious shit, and then loris just fucking bursts out laughing and every1 is like ……what and they start giggling too and emre is like USE UR OWN PHONE LORIS , and hes like but ur camera is better, WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PHONE, …….idk man i like ur camera better,
but really he only does it to make emres life hell
snapchat videos of the game from his angle asdfgh"emre takin out a guy no. 2958"“hey emre say hi!!!” “what are you DOING?…..hey guys [smolder]
LORIS PUT THAT PHONE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME
emre totes said that him
“WHAT YA GONNA DO? FOUL ME? oh no shit wait i take that back”
loris following emre thru anfield with his camera like “hey guys emre looks good, zooms in super close to his hair, look at that perfection”, emre being affectionatly annoyed
emre chasing him, loris being like EMRE NO IM SORRY COME ON, emre getting lo in a headlock and screwing up loris hair
a lot of people have been asking whats in your bagpack” “no they havent” “ok no they havent but im asking” loris rooting thru like heres emres gel, ‘its wax’ whatever same thing emre, and heres his wallet, ‘leave that aloneee loris’ and heres…… 'LORIS LEAAVE MY THINGS ALONEEE’, loris running off with the bag down the hallway, and the sc vid just full of frantic running and giggling and shouts of LORIS YOU FUCKING SHIT GET BACK HERE,
LORISSSSSSSSS
AND LORIS TRIPS OR SOMETHING AND THE STUFF GOES EVERYWHERE AND EMRE IS LIKE LOOK WHATS YOU’VE DONE but lo is too high on life and the video ends with p much just having a laughing fitl
and he looks at camera just in tears and like this grumps is angry with me but I DONT CARE and emre trying to grab his things and some of the other lads coming round the corner like whats going and seeing lo pissing himself laughing on the fall makes them laugh and soon there all laughing and emre wacks lo on the arm and laughs to
and before you know everyone is liking posting videos and pictures of what just happened and the rest of the world is just like???? eh????and they have really cryptic captions like “WAX [crying laughing
and like some time later they peel themselves off the floor still giggling some and emre is like u alright and lo is like yh and its like nice and not bantery and its all good and so much love
and yesss everyone is hella confused on social media but this team just full on loves on each so much and its amazing
everyone loves lo, i cry, 3 months at the club and everyone is already in love with him every1 fave goalie, i bet they randomly turn up at his house and just crash and chill out, cus well he lets them all in and hes super chill and everything
he got his hair cut everyone was fighting to touch it
poor dude has noo food left in his fridge, but hendo goes shopping and brings him things when he comes over cus hes a good captain and he takes care of our baby goalie and loris was swooning in the love and they literally made a line the fricking idiots
and just like at really quiet moments when someone’s stood next to him they’ll just reach up and stroke his hair and he’s just like….what you dooooin…
bet u a million dollors adz did that him, i bet u anything that really happened one time, and lo gave him a look like wtf and adz is like ur hair is so nice and soft and lo is ???……..ok then and adz is like u have the best hair on the team
and hendo screams over ACTUALLY EMRE HAS THE BEST HAIR ON THE TEAM, que arguments between #married couple no.1 and #married couple no.2
emre being all smug like hah i have the best hair and loris being like nah bitch i do and hendo being lke emre has the best hair and adz being like have u felt lo’s hair its amazing and klopp being like im going back to bvb, where things were normal and my players didnt fight over other peopls hair
god can you imagine like everybody filing in on these four full blown fighting and Milly and studge are like BREAK IT UP cos it sounds so serious and then they hear hendo scream ADMIT EMRE HAS SILKY SMOOTH HAIR!!!!
klopp walks away ashamed with his head in his hands, zelkjo is considering leaving, ads is close to tears, studge is in hysterics, lo pissing himself laughing, emre being like hah bitch i win, and loris walking away like whatev’s dude im still better than u and emre following him cus they need to continue arguing, its their thing,
hendo being like alright ok dont cry ads and then he cuddles him,
mils being exasperated and considering a move away from all this hectic mess ,
they all go back to training but klopp is missing and everyone is like ……..what happened to him and zeljko being like hes prolly packing his bags cus u lot are idiots,
que scared looks and extra hard commitment to training,
cus kloppo is more important than hair and loris being like see emre u scared off our mananger, and em being like MEEEE u started it , their bickering never stops ,
and hendo goes to find kloppo like a good captain and he’s just in his office ruining a stress balll
really hendo are we fighting about hair in training, hendo blushes and is like …….sorry…..but emre /does/ have the best hair.
klopp shaking his head like i expect this from the baby germans but u and adam, come on hendo,
but kloppo he does, yh he does but we dont fight about it in training and dont make adz cry, hes my fave son leave him alone,
hendo- so ur not running away, klopp shakes his head and laughs cus zeljko honestly, but hendo feels proud cus klopp agrees that emre has the best hair and thats all he wants,
adz can stick it, but hes not gonna make him cry again, klopp might kill him
For @taronthesloth cus she listens to me ramble while i make no sense, i love her.
hendo is jake peralta- king of banter, the best at his job, in line to be captain one day but no one is gonna trust him and he will forget, will be the best captain, eventhough he messes it all up, but he gets it right in the end, best friends with adam, like married best friends status , will pull the most pranks, is the first to skate down the corridoors and get everyone else involved, wants the responsibility, is unsure how to be responsible, a TOL
mils is rosa- WILL NOT TAKE YOUR SHIT, loves you but wont admit it ever, can only stand hendo, relates the most to the captain, emotionless, could kill you and get away with it, no one knows anything about him, everyone thinks he’s deadly serious, but no one really knows him, prolly has the most fun, a angry SMOL, so is worse than a tol
adam is charles- IN LOVE WITH HENDO, so in love with hendo, obsessed with hendo, more focused on hendo than work, is an angel, screws things up, still a child, cannot function like an adult, at all, is sometimes the hero, likes hanging out with hendo, literal bestfriends, the smolest smol, so smol
sakho is terry- I WILL KILL U WITH MY B A R E HANDS, is the first to protect you, will tear down the world to help you, will put u first, in tact with masculinity, loves his kids and wife more than life, sO TOL, SO ANGRY, v v sweet, cares about u the most
zeljko is captain holt- no emotions, never smiles, for real i have never seen zeljko smile, the mastermind, knows everything, is done with everyones shit, is most likely the one left to clean up everyones shit, knows how to make things better, did i say MASTERMIND, everyone loves him, doesnt know the meaning of holiday,
studge is gina- SASS KING, king of memes, king of banter, king of the internet and selfies, doesnt have to lift a finger-still does the job better than you, is the most loyal to his boss, does one thing but does it better than the rest, his sc is the most lit, the most fun person EVER
clyney is amy- loves work, loves his boss, wants to impress 24/7, workaholic, is clean and pristine, and good at his job, is done with everyone else not doing what their supposed too, will try to do it all himself, prolly succeeds, is the only one that can do everything perfectly, not appreciated enough,
