Having a mini problem, would like outside opinions:
At the Gay Youth I go to, the cardinal rule is:
"If you don't know, and don't want to offend anyone: Just ASK."
This refers to gender, sexuality, anything. Just ask.
This was made to ensure no one would get offended, and asking someone is better then assuming.
Well last week, a new crowd of kids joined the group and told us that we were being rude by telling kids to ASK someone. They even went so far as to berate the leaders saying:
"You shouldn't ever HAVE to ask someone what sexuality or gender they are because it's their private life and don't have to share it."
A remotely good point in their argument was it was the other person's private lives and no one should intrude on it.
However, they filed a legitimate complaint to city council, risking the future of the safe-haven for young LGBT2QA members of the community.
Our team's counter-argument was that:
"This is a safe environment for all LGBT2QA teenagers and young adults. We don't want anyone to make assumptions on anyone's identity, and we want everyone to know that they are safe here. If people can't ask eachother WHO they are; then how can we consider ourselves safe? They aren't asking because they want to ridicule others, we have a 0 tolerance for bullying."
Personally,
No one should ever get offended by someone asking you. Would you get offended if someone asked if you owned a dog?
Would you get offended if someone asked what your name was?
So why should you get offended if we ask who you are?
Now, I get it, some people would get a little uncomfortable if a random stranger came up to you and said: "Hey, are you transgender or what?" However, 100% of the time when it's asked in our environment it's a harmless, getting to know you question.
Especially with multiple groups being set up in neighbouring Vancouver specifically made FOR asexuals, pre-op transsexuals (Providing financial and medical assisstance.) and nonoperatives. It's a way to help, really. Get in touch with eachother.
So I want to hear your opinion:
Is asking someone who they are, harmful to their identity, or is it a way to get to know them?
