@lianxing : 80. crashing your lips together during an argument battle.
perhaps there was a creeping insanity to dan heng too, that he could so easily discard their many violences, that the current iteration of ren was the amalgamation of his misguided bloodlust. maybe there was something twisted in the way it was mattering less and less how volatile the both of them became, so long as someone understood the carnage within their souls. to be known, to understand that though one might long for inner peace and harmony, that the journey towards it was fraught with challenges ? there was no persevering along easy, winding paths. there was no challenge to be found in climbing sloped hills.
this was not the first time their turbulent fights with the mara – struck had gone awry, had them tumbling in rain – soaked ground clinging desperately for the dregs of ren’s memory while dan heng sustained wounds from his mara – ridden form. it was because of this — because it was his fault his beloved was like this, because he was the only one who could keep amnesia at bay, the only one who could love starlight turned beast unconditionally — that he must be stronger, that he must best ren every single time, and piece him back the best he could.
the kisses amidst rainstorm, in wake of painful battle, tasting of the sickening sweetness of abundance, and rich warmth of blood, had become another symbol of their perseverance. to fight, and heal, and fight, and heal once more. until they could break the cycle, they were doomed to repeat it. he would know ren by the grip of his sword hand, by the sound of his voice, by the desperate way he clung to him at night as if he’d disappear into seafoam, and now, by the taste of his blood when he saved him from the brink of being mara – struck.
this he would do again, and again, again. this was the price he would gladly pay.
