#liberdie

[trajedis]

                      obi-wan dreams of fire.    he dreams of a planet within a volcano, or of a planet that is a volcano itself, erupting, its lava surrounding and sliding through a path of destruction.           he dreams of smoke, of pleas, of darkness.      obi-wan kenobi wakes up to blue.     the bluest sky he has ever seen, so blue that no cloud dares to pass by.  he does not know which one is worse  :  choking on smoke or choking on guilt.    guilt ,  you see  , is a corrossive.       its acidic slithers though skin and corroses everything on its path.      guilt is eternal. dreams are not.     he closes his eyes, and opens them again, and closes once more, but the sky is still blue, and so are the eyes. blue, and blue, and blue. 

                       he stands up, and finds a breakfast table perfectly set for four. @liberdie already sits on it, as regal as always, quiet in her grief as she is in her pain, hidden away in a face made for lying.  within obi-wan, there is a wound, already in the stages of healing. he picks at it, and blood flows out again.   ʿ padme, dear one. up this early?   ʾ       his voice is still rough from sleep ,  though for her and her alone he softens it, taking the seat next to her as he spreads what looks liks bacta on a bread and prays it tastes differently.     ‘  and what of the kids?  are they still asleep?    ʾ     it is quiet conversation , almost forced , in this reality for which he should not have, nor belong.  

                    from the corner of his eyes, he sees a bright speck of golden hair, and digs deeper into the wound, so that healing won’t come  :   an eternal hemorrhage,  you bleed, and you bleed, and you bleed.    it is quiet conversation. it is quiet reality. guilt is corrossive, and it spreads throughout his body.    

[trajedis]

@liberdie​   said  :  ‘ please bring him back to me  ’ 

                𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐋𝐓 𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐃,   this   obi - wan   knows  ,   or   ,  maybe  ,   this   obi -wan   has   always   known  :   it   corrodes   everything   it    touches   ,   leaving nothing   behind   except   for   itself.           guilt breeds guilt ,   an ever - consuming tumor ,          breathing wreckage after wreckage after  ------    it   does   not   do   well   for   a   jedi   to   linger   on   such   matters.    he’ll   swallow   it   down  ,   let   it   burn   as   it   finds   his   way   through   the   pathway   of   his   throat   (  which it knows as intimately as one knows a lover  )   until there is nothing left but the after - taste of himself    (  bruised  &  bitter   &   battered  ) .    guilt is an acid   ,    and   he   will   water   his   wounds   as he   waters   a   plant   in   hopes   it   will   wash   the   wound   away.  it blooms. 

              her   voice   pulls   him   back  :   it   is  not  as  he  once  knew ,  the high , steady  pitch  ,  the  certainty  and  defiance  ,   passion  laced  and  ,   somehow   ,    still kind.         no ,  her voice is nothing like that  :     it   curls up   in   it   of   itself ,     small and smaller still ,      a  thread  and  barely ,   a sound   more   like   a   wounded   animal   than   a   woman.      he shudders at the sound of it  ,  even still.        perhaps   it   is   one   of   the   many   aftermaths   of   guilt.  𝐎𝐁𝐈 - 𝐖𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐈  ,   jedi master  &  general of the republic ,   looks   at   padmé amidala   and  finds  that  there  is  no  greater  challenge  than  to  respond  to  her  pleas.   he  closes  his  eyes.  he  opens his  mouth. 

                  ❛   dear one ----   ❜         the words choke the life out of him , as a root in the pit of his stomach , a twig that is more a rope , a rope that wraps itself around him and mocks.       ❛  padmé.  ❜      he tries again ,  a touch to her cheek that reproduces a softness which the skin he bears may not  :     jedi master , general of the republic ,    but there is    no republic     and there are    no jedi     and the words threaten to come out again.       i’m sorry , i am so sorry , this is my fault.       he wants to say.  he   hears   the   cries   and   the   agony   of   a ghost   which   haunts   them   both   and   still  -----      ❛     you ought to rest. dinner will be ready soon.    ❜      he does not say any of it. 

[trajedis]

here, there is only the void : darkness spreads against closed lids, and blackness engulfs the world — once, there was light in the world, and when obi-wan closed his eyes he could see it like threads of stardust, glistening and together binding all things. this where i become you become us become them, where flesh is not flesh but air, and the matter of all things are woven together in imperfect harmony. now, when obi-wan reaches through the dark in search of solace, he finds only devastation, and the aftermath of violence makes ashes of him, and the rest is silence. there is no point in meditating. he does not know why he still tries.

he blinks, and the suns of tatooine set before his eyes, the vision still blurry as the sky turns red-purple-blue-black. there are stars in the sky, and they shine so brightly it is almost an insult. obi-wan presses his hand against the ground, picks up sand and lets it fall down slowly, grain for grain for grain. he sighs.

there is no sound coming from inside the house, which should be a blessing but with the twins now knowing how to crawl can only spell trouble — obi-wan gets up. the sight from inside the house makes him stop, and lean against the unframed door. ❛  they take more kindly to you than they do to me. ❜ / @liberdie

[atimore]

❝        ma’am,      𝕚  𝕞𝕖𝕒𝕟  𝕟𝕠  𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕥,     but----------         i’m  supposed  to  be  meeting  with  the  queen    (   i  think   ) .  .  .       &      you  don’t  really .  .  .       like  i  gotta  get  goin’,     y’know-------      so,     if  you  could  just  point  me  in  the  right  direction,     i’d  really  appreciate  that.       ❞

    ›  @liberdie​                             

[forcebright-arc]

may you have a gentle and happy birthday, kat, you’re a sweetheart. i wish you only good things and success in life!

   thank you, lavinia, you are such a sweetheart and a talented writer !! I appreciate your well-wishes ♥