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Licensed Apparel--Hey, shouldn’t that be free?

This writing was inspired mostly by a typical busy Sunday at my job, but I can’t help but give a little credit also to a particular gentleman friend of mine (yes, you) for this one.

After ringing up a client, I was walking back to my chair to start on the next one when a client was getting up from my assistant manager’s chair. I noticed stretched over his rather ripped torso a Guinness t-shirt. It was getting close to the end of a very busy and exhausting (and lucrative!) day and I thought, man, a frosty pint of Guinness would be awesome right now. Maybe I should grab a six pack on the way home. Then I gasped (in my head, anyway). This guy’s a walking advertisement!

And it had worked on me! Guinness would make money off of me because this guy wore a t-shirt with their logo on it! But hold on a moment. This guy more than likely bought that t-shirt. A t-shirt with a brand of beer emblazoned on it. Why? I mean, shouldn’t that t-shirt be free? Think about it: This guy PAID for what’s basically a wearable advertisement. Guinness is making money off of it (at least from me...well, if I hadn’t forgotten to pick up that six pack after work). Isn’t it the brand itself that pays for the advertising? They pay for their billboards and magazine ads and television commercials, so why do folks have to pay for the clothes that are basically doing the same thing? What was this numbnuts thinking for plunking down his hard earned money for that shirt?

Ok, I get it. Guinness is an awesome beer drunk by awesome folks (at least here in America) and you want everyone to know how awesome Guinness is and how awesome you are for drinking it. Hell, look at my Instagram and you’ll see my own personal love for it:

(Hey Guinness, you owe me money now. Or free beer. Either will work.)

So what am I getting at? I think that sort of apparel should be free. Think about it: You’re walking around pretty much advertising a particular product. The companies should be providing it for you as a thanks. Free Guinness t-shirts, free Budweiser hats.

(You get the idea.)

Now, when I say “licensed apparel”, I’m talking about items that show a particular brand of consumer goods. This does not count things like band t-shirts or Frozen sleeping bags. I don’t expect Rush to pay for my Fly by Night ‘75 t-shirt. I bought it and I wear it because I’m a nerd who listens to Rush. Like Hutch in Fan Boys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45SG2N6MMcg

But buying apparel with brand logos like Bud Light or Jack Daniel’s or Frosted Flakes? That’s just nuts when you think about it. At the same time I think the suits at those companies are absolute fucking evil geniuses for coming up with the idea that people would actually pay to advertise their brand. Yeah...bravo, guys.

So, how much exactly are we paying for this stuff? I did a little searching (but not too much because I’m lazy) to find out.

$35 for Guinness shirts? Y’all are getting screwed big time. And not to be hard on Guinness (I just keep jumping back to it because I see their stuff everywhere). I did the same for Anheuser-Busch:

Now hang on here. That’s a bit of a price difference. But consider the demographics. Guinness is an imported beer and is enjoyed among a slightly more “classy” demographic of beer drinkers compared to say Bud and Bud Light. It costs more as well. Makes sense the Anheuser-Busch shirts would be cheaper. However, I still say buying this stuff is a dumb move. And the brands will keep selling it as long as people are buying it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go have a Guinness and listen to “Subdivisions”.

(Y’all still owe me money, Guinness.)

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