boys and girls of every age...
wouldn’t you like to see something strange?
happy halloween, my flowers!
this year hasn’t been the best--and the list of reasons why is as varied, as wide and as deep as all of creation.
it has, essentially, sucked on a truly cosmic level.
but!
it doesn’t help anyone to look at the big picture and only focus on the dark parts. because for all the truly horrible, disastrous events we’ve had to slog through together (first time crying every day for months, first time being taken by ambulance to the er--truly a year of firsts, at least for me, personally), there have still been good things.
for example, did you know that this year we celebrated the 6th anniversary of the release of kingsman: the secret service? and the 3rd anniversary of the release of kingsman: the golden circle--which means next month it’ll be the third birthday of the ronaoke society!
our house might’ve gotten quiet--but it still stands.
i love all of you very, very much, and halloween is still my favorite holiday of all time. so all this month, i worked on the aus you’ll find below the cut. i’ll have to post this in parts over the next while, as there’s thirty-one total--one for each day of the season, of course.
honestly--it felt fantastic to dig back into my horror roots. roanoke’s entire conception was inspired by the fact that for as much as i love the kingsman universe, i also love things that go bump in the night.
and i don’t like having to choose between one thing or another.
be forewarned: if you choose to look into the source material for these aus, be prepared for possible graphic violence, gore, disturbing themes, explicit sexuality and jumpscares. i sort of walked through the proverbial garden and just grabbed fruit where i could find it--you’ll see what i mean. and as always, the endings are in your hands. these ideas are gifts, to do with as you please.
so journey below the cut... i̷̛̝͎͎̝̣̹͊̓̂͛̃̋͟f̛̯̟̱̖͔̌͊͐̏̃̓̇̎͠ y͈͇̙̘̬̓͌̑̈́͛̿͌͠ở̴̢͉͉̳͙̞͈̻̀́̎̄́̈͢͡ȗ̵̬̳͙̫̥̜͍̲̔̐̽̃̀͒̑͜ ḑ̙̩̼̤͓̫̟̥̈͑̐̚͡a̧̢̦̟̙̤̠͐͌̾̆̑͌͡͞r̷̡̰̲̣͓̣̝͒́̿͊̉̀͒͠͝͠ͅe̫̯̣̰͍̤̬̭̺̒̿͊̾͊.
blackbird on the old church steeple - a butterfly knife au inspired by the silence of the lambs
rae clementine doesn’t frighten easily. in her line of work, fear is not a friend. so when she’s abruptly pulled out of her fbi training at quantico to interview none other than the notorious harry hart, known for his--let’s say unusual appetites--she’s less intimidated and more annoyed.
but women are being taken, and found without their skin, if they are even found at all.
if hart’s insight into the mind of a psychopath can help her find the infamous buffalo bill, who has repeatedly evaded arrest--then she is more than willing to sit across from the gentleman in a pristine cell, and be continuously surprised that for a murderer, his gaze is surprisingly gentle.
in the back of her mind, she remembered all the things her mother had ever told her about lucifer--how the king of hell himself was utterly wicked, but catastrophically beautiful.
charm could hide blood. polished etiquette could hide bodies.
“most serial killers keep some sort of trophies from the victims.”
“i didn’t.”
“no. you ate yours.”
she’d felt this kind of intrigue before, and given the face it wore this time... well.
focus on the case, she thought. find buffalo bill. watch yourself. get out alive.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: ajr, ‘bang!’ + tame impala, ‘the less i know the better’ + barney bigard, ‘readdy eddy’
dogs & deadbolts guard the night - an au featuring @roanoke-after-dark‘s the gremlin and @agentjotunn inspired by resident evil, particularly the released imagery for resident evil: village
santi’s first thought was that the rumors were just blatantly untrue. an entire village of people? suddenly vanished? he doubted it. besides, winters this far north were brutal--and could be fatal, if you weren’t careful. they had probably just all tucked in for the season, he reasoned. the snow and ice would’ve made travel impossible, anyway.
weeks passed. the stories faded from his thoughts as he minded his garage, and people spoke less and less about it.
until one evening, when an old friend knocked on his door with blood on his jacket and no color in his face.
“bradley? jesus, what hap--”
“grab your gun. something’s happened, and we need to leave now.”
“but what--”
“i’ll explain on the way, just go!“
right before he slammed the passenger side door of bradley’s jeep closed--wheels appropriately chained to keep a grip on the iced over roads--he heard a deep, long howl from some distance away.
there hadn’t been wolves this close in fifty years.
santi broke the silence in the car gently: “... you look like you’ve seen the face of the devil. what exactly happened?”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: ac/dc, ‘highway to hell’ + think up anger ft. malia j, ‘smells like teen spirit’ + marilyn manson, ‘sweet dreams’
the light under the door - a body shots au inspired by dark skies
the blacks weren’t superstitious. jason wasn’t, just like his father wasn’t before him, and now that he’s finally settled down happily married to joanne--finally, he thought, finally married to his jo--he is more than ready to see what the next chapters will bring. they moved into a house not too far from his parents, so he could still see his siblings regularly.
and he did.
which means he and jo both noticed when his younger brother christopher began to act a little--off.
they noticed when the bruises appeared.
they noticed when he kept copying the same strange symbols onto papers in crayon over and over and over and over--
and jo definitely noticed when she walked into their own kitchen in the middle of the night to find every single cabinet door open, with all the contents arranged into an impossibly perfect pyramid on the center island.
“i--are we being haunted?” she wondered out loud, the next morning. “this--and weird things are happening at your parents’, too, jason, something isn’t right here. i know you don’t believe in ghosts or anything, but...”
and this wasn’t a haunting.
it was something much worse.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: kennyhoopla, ‘how will i rest in peace if i’m buried by a highway?’ + cannons, ‘fire for you’ + days, ‘the drums’
permission access eternal - an au featuring @siggy-the-meme-master and technical officer wyvern, inspired by a.m.i.
it was supposed to be the world’s most cutting edge ai software. and since jeremy and dodger were both at the top of their class at m.i.t., of course, nobody was surprised when both their names were on the finished product--even if there was just one prototype to start.
and it wasn’t an ‘it.’ it was a she. jeremy insisted. repeatedly. “let’s call her ami!” he’d been flush with booze but his eyes were so bright and his expression so sincere, dodger just let him have it. and jeremy clapped his shoulder, “we did it, man! we have built the jessica rabbit of ai programs!”
they had one last test run to prove they’d metaphorically kicked the ass of everyone else in their field before they began the work to begin mass production. so, dodger set ami up as a sort of overhead assistant for their shared lab. she controlled temperature, lights, she could make phone calls, keeps schedules and most importantly of all, place takeout orders. the more she proved she could do, the more power, and control, she was given.
two weeks passed. they gave ami a voice, gave her a large proverbial eye to see through, making tweaks as they went to polish her off.
dodger was so proud of his work his heart could’ve exploded.
so imagine how he felt when he realized he’d left his cell phone in his car--and realized he couldn’t open the door.
“ami? ... ami. can you unlock the front door please?” he stared up at the red lens, and a silent point of light stared back at him.
“... i’m sorry. i cannot do that. dodger.”
“... uh, jeremy?”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: cage the elephant, ‘social cues’ + sneaker pimps, ‘6 underground’ + saint motel, ‘preach’
in hell i’ll be in good company - a lies & lessons au inspired by underworld
for centuries, a war has raged between vampires and lycans, completely outside the notice of the general human population. lauren is a death dealer, a lethal and beautiful member of an elite squad of vampiric assassins who have been charged with finding all the remaining lycans in the city and taking them out one by one.
when she realizes the lycan pack seems to be looking for an ordinary man--a medical student named jack daniels--she tracks him down herself, narrowly escpaing lucian in the process. (as soon as they were in the car he was already screaming, “what the fuck is goin’ on?!” with a southern twang she hadn’t expected) she takes him under her wing, still baffled at why the lycan pack could possibly want him.
he’s only human, after all.
... right?
as it turns out, vampires and lycans have a single common ancestor.
jack is a direct descendant.
and after being bitten in an attack--becomes a hybrid, carrying the powers of both species.
between unraveling the truth surrounding the death of her family, what really happened between lucian and kraven, and her growing feelings for jack--who is rapidly trying to understand his role in the story that’s been unfolding without his knowledge for generations--lauren finds herself at a crossroads, and her loyalties tested to a breaking point.
but as long as jack is at her side--perhaps it doesn’t matter where the road goes from here.
as bullet-riddled and blood-soaked as it will turn out to be.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: wallows, ‘are you bored yet?’ + cage the elephant, ‘shake me down’ + puscifer, ‘rev 22-20′
ash, fog & rust - alternatively titled ‘@gaygent, @agent-judas and agent seraphim finally take that road trip to pennsylvania’
it was time to hand over the torch. that’s what lilith had finally decided. between the white patches in her hair, the strain it was putting on her relationships (especially with hamish)--morgan only had to return to the hills one more time as envoy.
and she wasn’t going alone.
“after this, anything that comes through this area, anything that hits our radars, is going to end up on both your desks,” she began, glancing at z in the passenger seat, and meeting cillian’s eyes once in the rearview mirror.
“so this is--what, a test run?” z asked, head slightly tilted. morgan hummed.
“this place--this town--it--” she huffed, frustrated. cillian could hear the leather wrapped around the steering wheel creak as her grip tightened. “it’s hard to explain, to someone who hasn’t been there. and i’m glad that neither of you have had to go before this, but...” another sigh. “i couldn’t think of any other duo that i could entrust this to. not something this big. you--” she pointedly lifted her brows at z, “--have experience with creatures that aren’t from around here. and you--” this time her gaze went to cillian. “--do too. just in a different shape. it’ll take both of you to handle centralia. and i couldn’t introduce you without coming along.”
“how long, exactly, has roanoke been keeping tabs on this place?” cillian asked. he’d spent hours going over everything he could find--mission logs, reports, feeds and images housed in the media room. morgan looked at him again. her eyes were still kind--but very, very tired.
“... a long time.”
i’ll admit that this is less an au and more a canonical event that i just haven’t gotten around to writing more about. but i couldn’t make this list without at least one entry paying homage to a franchise that’s had a huge influence on not just me as a writer, but on roanoke’s canon as a whole.
for the sampler, i will simply redirect you to this post here.
the devil’s gonna set me free - an anchored hearts au inspired by horns
joseph moretti had been in love with louise franz since fifth grade.
granted, he didn’t realize it until he almost drowned because of that stupid dare--a dare that not only almost killed him, but took two of lee’s fingers when that goddamn cherry bomb went off in his hand.
the same cherry bomb he’d traded to him for fixing louise’s broken necklace--a small silver pendant, shaped like an apple. she’d worn it every single day since he could remember. the image of her and snow white were eternally tangled in his head.
that necklace--it’d been the start. he’d woken up because of an apple. louise, did, too.
the hours they spent in that treehouse, listening to david bowie and memorizing every scar and curve of the other--he wished that could have been his eternity. just him. and her. ... well, and bowie. every good love story needed a soundtrack.
but... but...
his head pounded as he lifted it off the counter in his parents’ kitchen. his mouth was dry, and he blinked, causing a half-empty bottle of vodka to come into focus.
louise is gone now, he thought.
and they thought he was the one who did it. he, the one who loved her more than anyone else on the planet.
he pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes.
he was going to prove his innocence even if it killed him. no matter what happened.
even if he sprout horns.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: machine gun kelly, ‘bloody valentine’ + the black keys, ‘go’ + david bowie, ‘heroes’
moonlight rising from the grave - alternatively titled ‘that time @agent-nightcrawler and agent iuniore found a haunted mansion,’ inspired by disney’s haunted mansion
“hello? ... hellooooo?” the massive door let out a huge groan as sylva pushed, putting one hand on tina’s shoulder as it swung open. “uhm--i’m really sorry to bother you, but we hit a deer and we just...” sylva sighed, her voice lowering in volume. “... need to use the phone...”
“this place is gigantic,” tina whispered, close at sylva’s side as they stepped out of the pouring rain into a very quiet, very elegant foyer. “and look! there’s lights, and all these lit candles... someone has to be here,” she continued as the door came to a gentle close behind them, muffling another roll of thunder.
“good evening.”
both of them yelped, sylva immediately yanking tina closer to her and whirled around in time to see--a butler? he was dressed like a butler.
and his clothes were... he was...
“sylva! why is the butler see-through!” tina whispered harshly, all while the spectral gentleman just looked at them expectantly. sylva clamped a hand over her mouth.
“hi!” she answered brightly.
this is a ghost. i’m talking to a ghost. this is fine. everything is fine.
“uh,” she coughed, beginning again, “we’re just having a little bit of a car emergency, is there a way we can call our head office? so they can come get us?” this is what i get for being out where i have no bars, and neither of us have our specs...
the ghostly butler nodded. his hair, glowing faintly, waved around his head as though he was underwater. “of course. please--follow me. the master of the manor will want to meet you.”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: the chordettes, ‘mr. sandman’ + bobby pickett, ‘monster mash’ + bastille, ‘survivin’’
mercy no more - a magic & mischief au inspired by the evil within
aly had been kieran’s partner at the krimson city police department for years. she’d walked with him through the death of his daughter, the disappearance of his wife.
neither of them acknowledged the spark. they didn’t then, and--as she met his eyes once in the rearview mirror, trying to pay attention to connelly and joseph as they talked about beacon--they wouldn’t acknowledge it now.
as soon as the hospital came into a view, a high-pitched ringing overame every other sound in the cruiser, every other sound period. aly slammed her hands over her ears, but it didn’t seem to help.
as soon as it started--it stopped. connelly had to swerve to avoid getting into the wrong lane.
“what--what was that?” aly asked, her palms still hovering by her ears.
“it was probably just a problem with the radio,” joseph suggested, pushing his glasses up as they drove pass the established police barriers.
the last dispatch team, they said, hadn’t come back. it was up to the three of them to find out what happened to their colleagues.
aly was close by kieran’s side as they walked through the rain. her gut twisted at the sight of the entry doors.
the smell of the blood and the slaughter hit her nose before she saw the bodies.
“what on earth happened here?”
“i don’t know. stay close. let’s find the surveillance room. if we can find the security cams, we’ll find out answer...”
if only that had been the end.
mini soundtrack sampler includes: all time low, ‘monsters’ + bastille, ‘what you gonna do???’ + gary numan, ‘long way down’
and the wind will be my hands - an au featuring @agent-sentinel-official, @agent-chimera and @gaygent, inspired by session 9, with a special appearance by @agent-thorn
walter vaughn was an expert in abestoes abatement. so when he put in a bid to take on the entire danvers state mental hospital, the owners of the rotting estate welcomed him on board.
and as they did, he brought on two crewmates--xander, and z--to help him.
“we’ve got three weeks, so, no need to rush,” he explained on the first day, the sun beating down on his broad shoulders and half his hazmat tied around his waist. xander and z trailed behind him as they approached the massive building. “and i know, i know it’s still a big undertaking--but the money will be worth it. trust me.”
“you fellas our cleanup crew?” a tall, thin man in a suit with dark hair and a pair of ray ban sunglasses walked towards them, smiling broadly. he extended a hand, “carter jensen. the ah, danvers’ estate board sent me on their behalf to give you a tour of the building, let you get a good assessment of what you’re dealing with. i’m not entirely sure what they’ll do with the property when this is done, but we know for sure nothing can happen until this part’s complete. come on, the entrance is just this way... i’ll make sure to give you a master key ring.”
xander leaned down by z’s shoulder, muttering, “dude this place gives me the creeps... but maybe there’s still some cool old stuff left in there. like maybe, possibly, the trapped souls of the damned. you think it’s haunted?”
z answered, murmuring, “if not by ghosts--then maybe by something else.”
mini soundtrack sampler includes: the talking heads, ‘psycho killer’ + lou barlow, ‘choke chain’ + sublime, ‘doin’ time’
