i’m feeling especially weepy and tender about neve and intimacy as it intersects with her disability today.
how important it is that she has partners who make her comfort part of the process without her having to ask. the unspoken ‘i love you’ and ‘i see you’ in gestures as simple as having pillows for her and adapting positions to accommodate her without needing to be told. the care taken on days where her pain is too great. the intimacy of just being held when she wants to be touched but doesn’t want to do any more than that. trusting them to massage / touch her leg when she wants that extra help to tease out tension there.
realizing now that taiyou is the type of person in consenting arranged relationships where he'll keep his distance yet at the same time play his role as a ' husband ' to the absolute fullest
there’s a shuffling from the trees above the other monkey before the stone monkey pops his head out from the trees. after shaking the leaves from his head, there’s a grin as he spots the six-eared monkey, taking his hands and holding the his head in his hands. ❝ found you ! i’ve been looking all over for you. ❞ there’s a smile on his face as a thumb rubs against the other’s cheek... a small silence between them before he leans in to a press a kiss onto the other monkey’s lips.
tail wraps around macaque’s as the monkey king holds him close... he loves spending time with the other... he’s been so busy lately, but that wasn’t going to stop him from spending time with his favorite being in all of the universe. no one from earth of the heavens could compare... could ever compare.
as he nuzzles into the other, feeling the other’s fur against his cheek... he’s felt the finest of cloths and the softest of fabrics... yet the other monkey’s fur was better than anything he’s ever felt. he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. a kissed is pressed on the other’s shoulder before moving to the crook of his neck... eventually he makes his way up to his cheek before landing on his lips.
❝ i’ll be back in a few days, ❞ the monkey king says, putting on the final piece of his armor. from what he’s heard... there were a few demons that was causing havoc... and well, work was never finished. it wasn’t like he enjoyed being away from the other monkey, but -- well, he would admit, that he liked the test of strength. even though the endless fighting of random demons were getting EXCESSIVE and annoying... it was a reminder that all he’s worked for and all he’s proved shows that he was WORTHY of the power he was granted.
❝ c’mon... it’s just a few demons. nothing to worry about, ❞ he reassures. not like he doesn’t want macaque to join him, but -- this was a test of strength. not that the other couldn’t hold his own, but -- it was just easier for the monkey king to look after himself without having to worry about macaque.
❝ you know you’re adorable when you pout. ❞ the orange haired monkey speaks with amusement before leaning in to press a kiss on other’s lips before before running and jumping on the nimbus cloud to take him to his destination.
as sun wukong catches the other napping, he pokes his head over him. a kiss is planted on top of the other’s head before lying down next to him. he was pretty tired anyway.
❝ i’m sorry. ❞ the monkey king sobs as he holds the other in his arms. staff thrown to the side for the time being. he didn’t care how much he was hurting... it was nothing compared to what macaque was feeling... how could he do this ? how could this HAPPEN... why ? why did the other choose to fight ? to endanger them both, but mainly... himself. if the monkey king had foreseen this.. had noticed that something was different with the other monkey...
he holds the other’s body in his hands, the other’s words barely audible as macaque was barely clutching onto the little life he had left... sun wukong never liked death... the concept was TERRIFYING. it’s why he sought many different ways to avoid it. if he could live forever, he’d never have to WORRY about it ! but something he didn’t consider was... the loss of someone he loved... more than ANYTHING else in the universe. huh... he never considered how selfish he was until now... because now he realized that his immortality meant he would LOSE the things that mattered to him. time and time again.
he looks down somberly at macaque... eyes focusing on the wounds he had given him.. the large wound on his face was gruesome. there’s a breath that hitches his throat before he leans down, pressing a kiss on the other’s head... something to lead the other on to the other side. there was nothing he loved more the other. he hoped that the other would remember... please make this action the last thing you remember.
𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑. ah, i know this place. lovely and lost, hm? all your hurt tumbling inside of you, unwashed and unsorted. you find yourself stuck in the tumult, unable to figure out what you even feel at this point. it shreds you on every pass, but it refuses to settle, so you just sit there, knowing you should do-something-about-it. it comes back around again, and it is infuriating. how could they, why did this happen, why didn't you just. what comes next? what are you supposed to do? what are you supposed to want? if you had a direction, a desire, a guiding star - you'd be able to just go, and walk. but you are here, in this place without north. you are here, and gravity barely works. every echo feels like fog. you are a parcel of a person; barely whole, wondering what happened to you. how you got flattened into a faceless person. how are you supposed to move in the direction of your goals when you have no idea what the goal is even supposed to sound like? how are you supposed to know? i will tell you something that is good for both of us: sometimes, you just know. sometimes we know and we don't want to hear the answer. sometimes we know and we are ignoring it. you know you need to leave him, that you love her, that they aren't really your friend. i will tell you something else: the answer sometimes never comes. and what is best in that moment, where you have nothing and no one? little blue night hawk - i love you. give up looking for what is right. give up looking for best-option. instead just choose - what feels like forwards? what feels like up? choose what you need. chew off your wrist if you need to get unstuck. but go. and maybe one day, the answer will come.
tagged by: stole it from @dutybcund
tagging: do it it’ll destroy your soul
tfw you’re affectionate and helpful but only at Certain Times and you can’t help anyone feel better even if you wanted to bc you’re not in Affection mode atm
