May 31
Coruscanti: Look at what she's wearing. She's asking for it. Banshee, repeatedly punching the Coruscanti: YOU'RE ASKING FOR THIS!!! Fox: ... Thorn: ... Fox: Anyway-- Thorn: Mhm.
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Coruscanti: Look at what she's wearing. She's asking for it. Banshee, repeatedly punching the Coruscanti: YOU'RE ASKING FOR THIS!!! Fox: ... Thorn: ... Fox: Anyway-- Thorn: Mhm.
Cody, raising a brow at the commotion: What is that? Fox, sighing: Riot... Armstrong, Captain of Riot Company: WHO STARTS THE RIOT!? Riot: WE START THE RIOT! Armstrong, pounding on his shield: WHO STARTS THE RIOT!? Banshee: WE START THE KRIFFING RIOT!!! LET'S BURN THIS KRIFFER DOWN!!! Fox: Lieutenant. Armstrong, chuckling: Sorry, Commander Fox. You know he's just very enthusiastic... Fox: He shouldn't be enthusiastic about starting a riot... Armstrong: It's just our-- Fox: I know, but maybe you should remind your lieutenant you're not actually the ones starting the riot... Armstrong: Y-yes, sir... Banshee: ...What a dick... Fox: Fresher duty. Banshee: MAN! DAD!!! Armstrong, chuckling: Well, you can't call our marshal commander a dick. Cody: They're so... Fox: Thorn calls them "spirited". Cody, laughing: That's what Alpha-17 used to call us.
Trooper: Those sluts-- Banshee: What sluts? Trooper: The ones at the bar there. Banshee: Oh, Commander Fox? Yeah, bro, he's easy. Trooper: What? No! The women, vod... Banshee: Oooh...You know them? Trooper: No? Banshee: Then...how do you know they're sluts? Trooper: Because of the cleavage up to their chins... Banshee, taking a deep breath: BroooOOOOO!!! THE BABES AREN'T THE SLUTS!!! IT'S US!!! They come here because WE'RE easy!!! Fox: It's good to hear one of our vode talking some sense. Rex: I heard him call you easy a second ago... Fox: Did I stutter?
Cody, whispering into his comms: Fox! There's a rancor loose somewhere near the barracks! Rex, a bit louder: Fox, this isn't a prank! There is a rancor loose near the barracks! Cody: I think it's inside! I heard there are tunnels all over Coruscant that something big could travel through! Rex, shouting: FOX! ANSWER YOUR COMMS! Cody, in a panic: FOX! Help us find this thing before it bursts up through the ground and rips one of us in half! Thire, in Fox's office: Which one do you think pissed off Banshee? Fox, sipping his caf: We both know it was Cody.
Fox: No. Senator: Excuse me? Fox: ...One moment. Fox, over comms: Lieutenant, I have a situation that requires your expertise. Senator: I told you, I want-- Fox, as Banshee arrives: Lieutenant, this senator is hard of hearing. Please convey my answer at a higher volume. Banshee: What's the answer? Fox: No. Senator: How dare--! Banshee, roaring:
NOOO!!!
Senator, startled: U-understood. Fox: Thank you for your work, Lieutenant. Banshee: KRIFF YEAH!!! Any time!
Rancor Rehabilitator: I just can't figure out why the others keep rejecting her. They won't spend more than a handful of minutes with her... Banshee, after exchanging a few grunts and growls with the rancor: I can see why... Rehabilitator: Fantastic! What is it? Banshee: She's speaking the language, but she's not saying anything... Thorn: What does that mean? Banshee: Exactly what I said, bro. Rehabilitator: ...She's...speaking the language...but...she's not...saying anything...I don't understand. Banshee: MAN! Uh...My socks are dry, don't eat my files. Rehabilitator: Pardon? Banshee: My socks are dry! Don't eat my files! Thorn: Banshee, I think you're having a medical emergency... Rehabilitator: Wait...No, he isn't. He's speaking our language, but he isn't saying anything! Banshee: Kriff yeah! He gets it! Thorn: So she sounds like she's having a stroke? Banshee: I mean, sort of? A rancor wouldn't see it as a stroke, though. They'd just see it as something wrong. If they don't know what's wrong with something as big as they are, they see it as a danger. Kind of like that dude outside of Privvy's that yells about the old gods of the sewer and insects rising up out of the freshers. Rehabilitator: I know who you mean. Why haven't they arrested that man yet? Thorn, ready to spill the tea: Ok, so what I was told-- Banshee: Can we get back to the babe here? Rehabilitator: Babe? Banshee: Yeah, bro. She's a total babe for a rancor. Rehabilitator: We need to get her socialized then! We need more of these creatures breeding in the wild. Thorn: So how do we do that? Banshee: I dunno, man...You can't just make her observe the others from a cage, because she's just gonna try to talk to them and get discouraged when they try to get away from her. She wouldn't really get holo recordings of other rancors either. They're just background noise to rancors, or the tiniest blue rancors they've ever seen. So...maybe I can talk to her in my free time? I know she's trying, so I'm not gonna just walk away from her like the other rancors. She'll learn like the little ones learn, by listening and repeating. Rehabilitator: That would be fantastic! Thorn: ...Something tells me you wouldn't tell us if there was any other way to do this... Banshee: Nope. Thorn, sighing: Sure, let me just ask Fox if I can send one of my men into a cage with a rancor every chance he gets... Banshee: If he's got a problem with it, he cAN KARKING FIGHT ME!!! Rehabilitator: ...? Thorn, proverbial cup overflowing with tea: Ok, so what happened was--
Thorn, via comms: Banshee, do you have eyes on the target? Banshee: Bro... Thorn: Do you have eyes on the target, Lieutenant? Banshee: Man... Thorn: Banshee! A roar interrupts the transmission. Thorn, suddenly: Banshee! Thorn springs into action to save his lieutenant, but he finds him safe and sound, and petting the snout of a rancor. Thorn, looking over at the body beside them: Banshee, it killed its keeper... Banshee: No, he didn't! I did! Thorn, squinting: ...You crushed a man to death? Banshee: ...Yeah? Thorn: ... Banshee: MAN! IT'S NOT FAIR! JUST BECAUSE HE KILLED SOME SHITHEAD-- Thorn: He crushed a man. Banshee: He didn't mean to...Look at him, bro...He's just a little guy. Thorn: ... Banshee: I'm serious! He's a little dude! Thorn: An adolescent? Banshee: No, just a short king. Probably kept in a tiny cage and fed scraps all his life... Thorn: ... Banshee: ... Thorn: ...Can you get our...short king to lift up that container and drop it on the body? Banshee: Why? OH! KRIFF YEAH, I CAN! YOU'RE THE KARKING BEST, THORN! Thorn: Just...make it look like an accidental death. I'll take care of the rest. Fox, an hour later: Thorn, in your report, is Short King the rancor? Thorn: Yep. Fox: ...
Fox grabs a trooper's ice cream and gives it one lick before walking off. Trooper: What the kriff? Banshee: Bro, I wouldn't let that go. Trooper: What am I supposed to do about it? Banshee: I'd karking fight him, but there's a funnier option. Trooper: What's that? Banshee: Tell our commander. Fox, an hour later: So what would you like me to do about it, senator? Thorn walks over, pulls off Fox's helmet, and licks the side of his face before walking off. Senator: ... Fox: ... Banshee: PFFFFFTAHAHAHAHAHA!!!