even if I feel like falling
lngshot x reader, lngshot x new producer, ohyul x reader, woojin x reader
18 yo Korean-German music producer/artist Kang Auda moves to Seoul to work at More Vision and finds her best friends and more
Genre: coming of age, romance, first love, friendship
Ch6 Chapter 7
You told him to come find you at your studio because you will be working until late at night, anyway. You hear a door knock at around 10pm. "Come in!"
The door opens, and he lets him in. You had been working on something. “Let me finish this quickly. Just gonna take a minute”
“Okay”
You have been working on something, but now you are also thinking of what to do and what to say while doing so. Your heart rate picked up at the thought of possibly seeing him again, the one you were desperately trying not to fall in love with. But you were also scared to see the one that was so distant, the one that shut you out completely.
“Okay, I’m done.” You turn around to find him on the couch playing a game. “Thanks for coming here. The places you can meet at are very limited when you're famous", you say, trying to break the ice.
He breaks into a small smile. “Ah, no. Don’t say that”. Okay, formal Ohyul it is, you think to yourself.
“Soo…”
“I asked you to meet because I think the last time we met, I made a mistake,” he says, his voice gradually fading away.
“A mistake?”
“Yeah. The way I handled the situation was so wrong”
“When you rejected me with an inaudible sorry, you mean?”
He seemed a bit startled by the confrontation. “Yes. I shouldn’t have done it that way”
“Why are you talking like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like I’m a cashier”
“What?”
“Why do you do this? Why do you close yourself off like this? Why are you talking to me like you don’t know me and you accidentally stepped on my foot?” You tear up, and your voice breaks at the end. You thought you could contain yourself. You honestly expected the bullshit he was about to pull. And thought you could accept it. But seeing him in front of you, trying to hide behind the wall he always puts up, made you angry, upset, and disappointed. You’ve seen him before; you’ve seen how radiant he is, how beautiful and real he is. It pains you to see him so afraid of letting go.
He’s aggressively running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know”, he answers, a bit bewildered. “Maybe the same reason you cross boundaries so easily”
“At least I’m honest with myself”
“It’s not that simple”
“It is that simple”
“What do you want from me?” He asks, still trying to keep his cool.
“Tell me why you’re here. If you’re sorry, tell me you’re sorry for real,” you told him firmly without breaking eye contact. You were staring him right in the eye, hoping you could perhaps finally break him, break this wall, and the real him would step out.
“I’m really sorry I was a coward. I think I was scared”
“And you hurt me”
“I’m sorry… I thought I was protecting you”, he laughs in disbelief.
“I’m sorry for lashing out”
“I think it was deserved”
You two sit there in silence for a bit. You needed time to collect yourself.
“Can we really just talk about it honestly?”
“Okay,” he says with a small smirk, and you catch a glimpse of the guy you saw that night.
“I am sorry for not talking to you. And when I broke it off, I was such a coward. I couldn’t even say anything properly.” his face falls into his hands.
“Why? Did you change your mind?”
“No. No, no,” he mutters, shaking his head still in his hands.
“It was… I got scared”
“…of?”
“Of losing everything. We worked so hard to debut. And literally the day after, I meet you,” he looks up at you.
You see his face pained, eyes squinting. Maybe he was waiting for an answer; maybe he just couldn’t continue. As you start to understand that he did not just reject you, you feel relief as well as pain.
“Why… why do you do this to yourself?” you say quietly, almost more like a statement than a question.
“I felt like I was putting everything at risk. Not just my career but everyone’s. My team, the company employees, and the DPN”
“Do you really think this is what they want you to do?”
“You don’t understand”
“Yeah, it’s hard for me to understand. Of course, I don’t understand the pressures you have. I don’t wanna push you”
Another silent moment passes by. You wonder if any of you expected this meeting to be so draining.
You’re ready to start bawling at any moment. It’s been building up since the moment you saw him. The longer the silence continues, the heavier the air sits, the more you sit with your thoughts, the more your eyes start to well up. You lift your face to look up to him, to find him staring at you. You’re not the only one with wet eyes. You both laugh, dumbfounded.
You jump onto him on the couch, throwing your arms around him. It catches him off guard, but he lets you in and pulls you in for a hug. With your face buried in his neck, you start sobbing quietly. “I’m so sorry,” he says quietly as he tightens the hug.
It feels so good to finally feel him next to you, smell him, and hear him. You’re not sure if it’s okay to be affected this much just by his presence. His absence hurts you like hell, and then just like that, he elevates you to insane heights.
The door opens loudly, Woojin letting himself into your studio as usual, “hey bro”.
He’s gobsmacked to find you two cuddling on the couch, with you having obviously been crying. Ohyul is the first one to react, “ya ya ya! Don’t you know how to knock!”
“What the fuck?” utters Woojin. You’re so embarrassed. You quickly stand up to leave the room and run to the toilet, hiding your face.
“What are you doing here?” asks Ohyul, irritated.
“I wanna ask you the same,” spits back Woojin.
“It’s none of your business. Go home”
Woojin slams the door behind him.
You’ve washed your face and are heading back to the studio when you hear someone call you. “Auda!” yells Woojin, running after you.
“Are you okay?” he asks with a concerned look.
“Umm, yeah, of course,” you try to act cool.
“What is happening? Why were you crying?”
“It’s nothing”
“What did he say?”
“Umm I don’t know… that he’s sorry”
“Are you gonna…?”
“I don’t know”
“I thought you were over him?”
You thought you were, too. At least you were trying your best. You’ve got nothing to say and just stare at him. And he knew exactly what you meant. “Okay” is all he says before leaving.
When you’re back, Ohyul is getting ready to leave. "Umm, we are actually flying to Paris tomorrow morning. I have to go pack now"
"I see. I miss Europe! But my favourite city is London, besides Berlin, of course"
"Ha ha. We're also going to London afterwards, actually. It's been my dream to visit there"
"Yeah, it fits you. I love London"
You two smile awkwardly, loitering around the door.
"When are you going home? Do you still have work to do?"
"Always. But I don't wanna. I'll go home soon, too"
"Let's go together"
He's at the entrance of your building. And as you're getting ready to say bye, he blurts out, "Let's meet in London."
