#life entry

[allixirr]

— 30/05/2022

trying out the study blog thing because i don't have the time to write, though i do have the time to study. at the very least i'll use this blog to... well, write about my day i guess.

working on english stuff lol. it's a lot easier compared to what some people are doing on here (seriously, some people are so dedicated and hard working...) and it's just high school stuff honestly but it's still something

i think i prefer the tumblr style blog to instagram. there's less focus on getting attention and more focus on archiving.

i'm still trying to figure out how to tag stuff on tumblr, and the notion of people being able to see the tags is just horrifying, but what can you doooo

[oneofyourheroes]

Here

My life has changed a bit since the last time I logged an entry here...

Here we go.

I currently live in LA.

I decided to take a chance on myself and out my skills to the test. I will not lie, I highly questioned myself before taking this leap before coming out here but it is slowly but surely beginning to produce fruit. I’ve met people who hold positions I want as mentors or offered themselves as people I can gain knowledge from. I’m still in question of how I want to proceed from here. 

I’ve pushed myself to the limit to make a life for my family and myself. I’ve worked tirelessly to get here but here I am...here

You may be wondering what here is? Me too but I know it’s a testament to growth. Hopefully I’ll have an answer as to what here is by the next time I choose to log another post. 

In the meantime, I’ll continue to better my craft and build a network that will bolster me to where I want to be.

See you soon

TJ

[dnbright11yspeaks]

I could...join those friendship groups out there...wwwwww. Why not. My main is gallery/work/portfolio. And this one is more sitting in a chair posting. Who knows? People usually don't mix those things. Do they? Even in real life. Ugh, exception if you are above the law. But we commoners(?) proletariat. Daaaamn #system critique but nooo this is just diary entry, I am sorry XD

[allixirr]

— 20/11/22

final year of high school is going great!! /s

i slept for like... a solid 19 hours friday afternoon to saturday afternoon after leaving my folio to the last minute (see: the 11 hours of study on ypt)

but hey look i painted and printed anhane cats on fabric :D being a textiles student is so fun because i look so cool when i work in libraries lol

also i got spotify?? which is pretty neat i guess i can now stalk my friends and what they're listening to and now they can do the same for me wheeeee

[allixirr]

wheee i have relatives coming over in like 3 hours and i haven't slept BUT at least i have gorgeous heart shaped pocky yum yum

[allixirr]

copying

i don't really think i'm a creative person, i just copy what other people do

i hardly draw original art, or write original pieces or anything that. 99% of the time it's fanfiction or fanart, never of my own ideas. maybe an alternate universe with pre-established tropes is why it feels like copying to me. magical girl au? slap on a cute dress without thinking too much about character design, give them angst, easy. band au? let's assign instruments, maybe think about their band name, but that's the extent of it, and it's always the same instruments anyway lol.

either that or i think too much about having a creative idea. i write up google docs with thousands of words of planning and never go anywhere with it, because it's not good enough. or i make a mindmap of all the different ways i could do something—it never feels right.

one of my friends keep asking me to write a song. i'm hoping i can do that without accidentally copying something lol

i just wish i could come up with an original idea, but i think i was born too late into the world for that