What makes a good leader?
Lately I have been watching videos and reading a lot about leadership. As I had been given the opportunity to lead a bigger team, I need to also level up on the skill sets I have. I want to be sure I am equipped and align myself of what is expected of me. Since last Tuesday when it was formally announced, a lot of challenges came along. There was this one resource whom I assigned a task for over a week already. When I approached him to follow up, he got mad at me, raised his voice and said, he has a lot of task so I should not expect it to be delivered. I can do the task myself if I want, but since I want them to learn the skill, I delegated it to him. I was furious, my voice shaking while explaining that he could have advised it before hand. He could have raised his concerns and I am very much willing to mentor him and support him. That time I was thinking, is this what I got from being promoted?? Harsh treatment. I am always praying to God for this opportunity and now that I have this, I should have prayed differently. I should have prayed to have a working environment that will respect me and see me as lead an not a threat. My previous team is a great team. But now that another two was assigned to me, I feel the sadness inside. I want to move to another environment but a lot of uncertainties are circling my mind. Just today, there is a resignation letter submitted to me. I felt that I need to let her go for her career growth and so that she can get a higher pay. When I forwarded and informed my boss, I was scolded. My boss is asking if I did not anticipate the resignation and that I should be finding ways to retain these talents. That again slapped me in the face. Saying that this again is another failure on my part as a lead. I am not sure how to support resources on things that the company cannot support but as my boss said, it is my responsibility. This is already taking a toll on me. And so writing here on this pad and platform where no one knows me is a relief. So this time I just want to rewrite my prayer. That along with the success at work, please provide me Lord the wisdom and the strength to pass this trial. Give me God the unbiased decisions and give me the better path on where I can still help resources but can also help myself improve. I surrender oh Lord all of the trials and challenges. It hurts now but just stay beside me and I shall be okay. I know you have plans so please guide me Lord. But moreover, I want to thank you, as my prayers are all here, all fulfilled. Help me through this feeling of doubt and emptiness Lord. I need your help!
tgbtg
