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Tiana Crownguard is not one to ask for help with anything. So it takes her a lot of effort to stand here, in front of the girl her niece loves, and attempt to ask for help. She takes a deep breath before clearing her throat.
Jinx, we need to speak for a moment. Alone, if you would.
Light the flame in your belly, get hungry for it. Face it straight and smile through it all. You can shed those tears once you reach the top.
— Ruth Winters / Flame
Lux lays there, curled up on her bed, shaking and sweating as some of her veins softly pulse with a purple glow. She barely registers when the door opens and a hand gentky touches her arm, feeling freezing cold compared to her own body temperature right now.
Oh, and before anyone says I'm being cold and mean to Jinx, you're only seeing the posts. You're not seeing me spoil this brat to death. Whe's just a bit of a turd sometimes
I feel really clammy today and I think I've got the shakes. Probably coming down with something. Not used to the cool Demacian air anymore.
Jinx has already made a post about this, but I want everyone to know from me that I'm alright, if not with some new scars on my arms. Jinx is holding together for me so far, but I can see how much it hurts her to see these jagged lines on my arms, so I'm keeping them covered as much as I can. For obvious reasons, though, I'm not allowed anywhere without either her or my aunt accompanying me, so she sees them when I go for my shower. I want to make sure she's fine, but I know she'd deflect.
How's the recovery going, Lux?
... Interesting.
Not...
Not as good as we hoped.
Don't get me wrong, Jinx is... Protector, she's amazing. If you only know her through the rumors... There's this softness to her that... I wish I didn't need to see this way.
And my Aunt she's been super supportive. Got me a therapist too.
But... There's so much I'm working through it's hard to begin.
First my obvious... Attachment issues with Jinx. She's been such a rock for me that... That even being in a different room can make me spiral. I love her but... We've agreed this isn't healthy for me. I don't want her to stop her life just for me, and obviously, I can't spend my life attached to her always. There will be times we're separate, and I'm working on being okay with that again.
And then there's the party from the start of the year. I... I don't think anything happened. Genuinely, I think Jinx stopped anything from happening by finding me when she did.
But... Sometimes I have nightmares about what could have happen. I... Haven't told Jinx about it yet but... I think she's getting suspicious. We haven't been... Intimate since I arrived in Demacia. I've been able to lie and say it's because my Aunt is here but... I can see she's not believing me.
And then there's the shimmer that I was drugged with. Turns out, still addicted, and I've been struggling with withdrawals the entire time I've been here. Which... Exacerbated my mental health issues. This past week I... Actually started physically reacting so hard that Jinx and my Aunt had to hold me still so I didn't hurt myself.
I... I don't remember it, though.
As of now, my Aunt is trying to jump through a million and one hoops to get me some so I don't end up suffering the extreme negative physical health effects from sudden Shimmer withdrawal. Like Jinx told me after that first night, I need to slowly wean myself off this. You don't just stop Shimmer. I can see how it's such a problem now...
...
I hope Jinx doesn't see this and worry.
I don't want her to worry.
I love her too much to make her worry and I hate what I've put her through.
