#lightlee

[positivecassiopeia]

[speciosity]

lightlee replied to your post: y’all should check out my twitter js js js js js...

no ty

[incapacitatingselfdoubt-blog]

rereads claire de lune AND THEN

nOPE NOPE NOPESD

[waejoong]

lightlee replied to your post: jaejoong fandom porn

why are u being like this omg

why are u so modest u goddess

resoundingmelody replied to your post: jaejoong fandom porn

ALL I SEE IS A SHEEP

oh god whhy

[dbsk-is-the-love]

lightlee

Idk if anyone has asked you this but how do you view Jaejoong as a person? Im not asking for a personality analysis, but like in general. Like how do you think he deals with how people call him feminine? Do you think he hates it or has he somehow dealt with it? Why do you think he so desperately wants people to think he's manly? Do you think because people like to say he's feminine is why he's somewhat insecure about his looks?

 Anonymous

I think in the early years of their debut, he absolutely loathed being called feminine. It’s one thing to hear it while growing up and just get used to tuning it out, but it’s quite another to drop out of school, run away from home, live on the streets, starve, audition twice, pick up odd jobs for barely enough money to pay for a bowl of ramen, teach yourself to sing and dance, and sacrifice everything just to finally debut and then continue to hear it as if it’s the only thing that’s important about you. 

But then it didn’t stop so he just learned to embrace it because it was easier. Playing into the feminine image gave him an actual role to play in the group and gave him an identity. He’d always been the “mom” to Yunho’s “dad,” but it wasn’t until he really stopped giving a shit about making sure people thought of him as masculine that he really started existing. He was desperate for popularity and to be loved for who he was, but the fans were so damned set on how pretty his face was that in the end, he had no choice but to give in and play along or else risk being left behind completely. 

I think it’s pretty easy to understand why he’s so set on being seen as ‘manly.’ He grew up with 8 elder sisters, and he has a face that gives him an androgynous appearance. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he grew up being teased by his classmates about his parents really having 9 girls instead of 8 and 1 boy. “I’m not a girl damnit, I’m a man. I can’t help my family and I can’t help my face but I can help how people see me.” Which explains the muscle building because that way, we have no choice but to accept and admit to his masculinity.

(And then he went to Japan and the fans didn’t like the muscles so he lost them all just so he wouldn’t lose his popularity and around then is when I’d say he really started to fully embrace the androgynous thing that everyone was shoving on him). 

But when you debut in an idol group and you have all this attention being given to you every day and you’re given the dual positions of Visual and Main Vocalist but all anyone talks about is how pretty you are and not how good of a singer you are, too—it just eats away at your self-confidence even more. Your livelihood depends on your face and the talent that you worked so hard to develop is just a by-product of your life. You have to look perfect at all times because the rest of the group’s image depends on you but at the same time you’re only 18 years old and you’re still dealing with the same issues that everyone deals with at that age. You’re dealing with the awkwardness and the feelings of not being good enough and the thoughts that change on a daily basis from “I can take on the world” to “I’m still just a kid I can’t do this.” And you never get a chance to resolve those issues and figure out who you are or become comfortable with yourself because there’s no time for that when you’re making history.

Jaejoong’s insecurity stems from the fact that he’s the face of the most popular group in Kpop and they have an image that’s all about being powerful and and Godly and untouchable…and he doesn’t exactly fit in.   He thinks of Yunho and Changmin as being the physical examples of what a Handsome Man looks like, and when he compares himself to the both of them he finds himself lacking. It doesn’t matter how many people fawn over him and tell him “oh~ you’re so pretty” or “Kim Jaejoong, you’re so handsome” because he’ll never believe them. He looks at himself in the mirror and picks out all the flaws that he sees—the lines, the spots, the dark circles—and he counts each blemish as being time subtracted from the years he has left in the spotlight.

He’s been around for a decade and most people, including his own fans, still appreciate him more for his face rather than his talent. The way he is, odds are he figures that as soon as his looks go completely he’ll be out of a job. Especially since the clock is already ticking due to his age. Honestly, I’m surprised that he isn’t more insecure than he already is.

[speciosity]

dangerous love :)

Favorite Male: ChangminFavorite Female: the only one is the girl in the cabin so..............................Favorite Pairing: Yoochun/all the food he ate and cried overLeast Favorite Character: Junsu (SURPRISE)who’s most like me:

most attractive: see abovethree more characters that I like: yunho, jaejoong, the tech guy holding jaejoong up when he trips and yunho catches him