Life Update:
Not only have I been giving Sob the silent treatment, but I have also been given Life itself through silent treatment.
I confronted Sob, and he told me that he would never lie to me and that there really was a fire at the Monster Factory. Of course I immediately believed him, and in my joy texted Lurcher about how perfect and Emo Sob is.
All was well
-until Lurcher bought me a Monster as proof that the factory did not go up in flames, WITH the receipt to prove it wasn't just a Monster he'd had in his fridge for months.
So in my fury, I first gave Sob the silent treatment before moving on to Life itself (because Life made me a light switch that can't move which was not very Emo of it).
I have since somewhat forgiven Life, as Life is shitty to everyone. But not Sob.
The only thing Sob could do to earn my forgiveness now is to serenade me with a personalised ballad.
An Emo ballad.