♫
50 Ways to Say Goodbye - Train
He's on a chessboard, standing perfectly positioned on the corner where four squares meet. His arms are tied and there's a heavy crown on his head. He's the king.
The rest of the board is almost clear. He can see that the edges are littered with taken pieces--rooks and pawns and the clever knights. His gaze lingers on them longest before he turns to the rest of the board. There are two pieces still standing. On his left, perched on a black square of the board, is the girl. On his right, on a white square, is Alby. They both wear tall, conical white hats. The bishops. Aggressive pieces, confined to half the board but more easily moved than the solid rooks. Which, he supposes, makes him the black king.
Between them, Alby and the girl cover every one of the squares he can step to. It's an illegal position he's in, and on his move he has to choose one--but any move will checkmate him. Any move will lead to his capture.
He steps onto a black square and the girl steps forward to claim him. She whispers sweet words into his skin, but the words cut like a knife and burn like acid.
~
The next time the dream happens, he steps onto a white square, and Alby takes him. He whispers promises into his skin that feel like they are a weight on his skin, pressing on him until he can't stand.
~
It's been a week since the dream started. Every night he chooses a square and suffers the price. Every morning he wakes up and wishes he wasn't a king.
It is a week later when he finally realizes that he has never been a king. The king is helpless. A prize to be won. The piece on which the game turns. But he is not helpless, not even bedridden as he is. And he is not and never has been a prize to be won. And the game only turns on him so long as he keeps playing.
He tells the girl as the Doors open for the morning that she can go back in the Maze for a while. He tells her he knows she'll come back, but he asks if she can send Minho up to him so he isn't alone. She does. He knows better than she thinks he does how much she longs to be back in those walls. She sends Minho as promised, and although he hates taking time off running the big Asian boy comes in.
Newt tells him what he wants. Minho tells him he's insane. Newt agrees, but insists. Minho says Alby won't agree. Newt reminds him Alby doesn't have to. And so it begins.
~
He still dreams of chess, but he isn't a king anymore. He's a pawn now, even more limited. He can only step forward. One step and the girl takes him. Two and Alby does. But the promises that Alby whisper hurt just as much as the gir's words, and the girl's words hurt as much as Alby's promises. This is not the right piece either. He is not a pawn. He has always been able to reach the whole board. He just needs a little time to get there.
There's a Builder who wants to try for the Runners. Minho trains him while Newt recovers. Newt focuses on eating. He eats more than he can stomach until his stomach stretches to adjust. He pushes himself, leaning on the girl or on Med-Jacks and walking until they have to carry him back sometimes. Slowly he gets better. And once Ben is trained and Newt is mobile, the real work starts.
~
In his dreams now, he is a rook. He can reach the whole board, but he is easily blocked, and the bishops between them cover every space he can reach.
~
Ben replaces Minho. The Keeper of the Runners is taking a break. It isn't a secret why, but Newt makes sure that the girl is out in the Maze every time Minho comes by. And one step at a time slowly becomes one sprint at a time, which turns into running. Really running.
Minho is the one to tell Alby. Alby doesn't like it, but there's nothing he can do. It's not his call. Newt doesn't tell the girl at all. She'll find out. He'll pretend for a while that he's just coming to visit her. He wonders how long it'll take her to figure it out.
~
In his dreams he faces the bishops from atop a horse, Minho at his side. There is no way they can take him. He is the clever knight, hard to block and hard to predict and able to reach every space on the board. He isn't a prize to be won. He isn't a defender, or a pawn. He is a Runner.
