#like a dramatic bitch

[applestede]

The Widow Bonnet, I presume.

your reputation precedes you

[hunterinabrowncoat]

I know we all make jokes about how “unfortunate” our attraction as bi/queer people to men is, but it’s time we talked about it seriously...

First off, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of your attraction to men, and that’s just as much a part of your queerness and your bisexuality as your attraction to women and enbies.

But you know what? It’s exhausting. It’s exhausting as a queer person to date a straight person. It’s exhausting as a woman to date a man. Just like it’s exhausting as a trans person to date a cis person. And it’s okay to be frustrated with that sometimes.

It’s perfectly natural, especially as an oppressed or marginalised person, to seek out similarity. To crave solidarity. To want people who get it, who know what it’s like. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out relationships with people who are similar to you; people who know what it’s like. It’s okay to want the most significant person in your life, the person (or people) you want to plan the rest of your life around and potentially raise kids with etc., to be somebody who gets it, somebody like you.

I’m under no illusions that a relationship with a woman or an enby would come with it’s own issues, and I know it’s unwise to put women and enbies on pedestals, thinking that because they’re not men, the relationship will automatically be great. It’s important to acknowledge that relationships with anybody, regardless of gender, can be shitty.

But you know what? All the relationships I’ve cultivated with women throughout my adult life so far have given me something I don’t think I could ever get from a relationship with a man. All the spaces where it’s just women (and me) or it’s just other trans people, are so much easier, so much more comfortable, than regular life, regular spaces.

So as much as I deeply love my partner, I do sometimes lament that I’ve never had a woman or enby as a partner. I want this relationship to continue for the rest of my life, I really do. But at the same time, I’m also sad that if that happens, I’ll never know life with a woman as a partner. I’ll never know life with a woman or another enby by my side as my partner. I’ll never know what it’s like to have that kind of solidarity and understanding and comradery in the most important relationship I’ve got.

It’s okay to feel complicated about it.

[tears-are-in-your-eyes]

bursts into tears