#likereligion

[airesmars]

                    she panics. & it’s the WORST kind of panic bliss has ever encountered because she knows she won’t be able find a reasonable way to calm herself down. her stomach is shaking, throat tightens, mouth dries out & her eyes are scanning the room m a d l y for an escape route. she feels dizzy, hearing the loud THUM THUM THUM of her heart, blocking the soft tune the band in the corner is playing. for a moment, bliss actually thinks she is going to faint because it seems she forgot how to breathe the second her icy blue hues spotted an all too familiar slender form in the crowd. & he looks good. god damnit, he looks so fucking good, she doesn’t know what to do with herself. she wants to turn around & sneak out of the bright hall, escaping the nagging voice of her mother, scolding her for whatever pointless reason again. she is being so c h i l d i s h right now, she is more than aware, but it’s not her fault, it really isn’t. this is just the way he gets her to be, he’s always made her nervous. but this... this damn post-break up running into each other is a complete DISASTER ( especially because bliss has been so very proud of herself for being able to keep her composure ).

she is being ridiculous. they are adults, who parted ways because they weren’t meant to be, but it doesn’t mean she has to act as a stupid teenager. bliss is positive she’s never chugged down a glass of champagne so fast before, scraping together her courage to cross the hall. she stops in the way COUNTLESS of times, trying to give herself enough time to ready herself. they would have seen each other tonight & if it’s inevitable, she believes it’s b e t t e r if it happens the way she wants. ––––– she waits until he seems free before stepping behind him, clearing her throat politely. she won’t look him in the eye, she is going to ignore those GODDAMN eyes, as she charms a small smile on her face.   ‘   hey.   ’   her voice is soft & kind as always & she almost HATES herself for it. & then, she kisses him on the cheek, only to feel absolutely stupid for it afterwards. she might greet her friends like that, but noah is n o t her friend. they’ve never been friends. @likereligion

[airesmars]

                                        … ✰ — ( @likereligion​ ! * )

                        she can’t put her finger on where exactly this SUFFOCATING feeling comes from, why now & why with some much intensity, but it leaves her breathless & desperate for help. she’s had these thoughts before, of course, but she was always able to convince herself that she is stressing over something minor & at the end E V E R Y T H I N G will work out. maybe its bittersweet feeling her sister’s engagement left in her mouth, a small, cruel reminder that her life doesn’t seem to go that way. that even though she banished her thoughts of an ideal relationship with someone she loves, convincing herself that normal is BORING & this is much more better, sometimes even she gets too tired to lie to herself. sometimes she thinks, perhaps if she was more clear about what she wants, she would actually get it. but the F E A R of seeming demanding, asking for too much & driving him away by it is so much stronger every time.

it has to be the glass of wine she chugged down in the kitchen by herself a few minutes ago that gives her COURAGE or perhaps that they’ve been sitting in the silence for a while now & she feels like she needs to let him know how she feels before she collapses under pressure. she’s always respected the I N V I S I B L E boundary of unspoken things between then, not wanting to make him feel like she is pushing anything. she never told him she loved him, even though its painfully obvious because she didn’t want him to feel pressured to say it back. she never explained to him how she spends nights thinking about how she could make him happy. she never tried to let him know that he is EVERYTHING & more to her.  its terrifying & bliss opens her mouth, just to decide not to say anything at the end several times before she speaks up.   ‘   do you think we are--- this is going somewhere ?   ’   if he says no, she will understand, but she has to know. she can’t spend months waiting for him to turn up in her doorstep, if he already knows that one day, he WON’T.  it will hurt, but she will understand. she always does.

[barelyspeaks-a]

❛   i had a thought, dear, however scary, about that night. the bugs and the dirt. why were you digging ? what did you bury ? before those hands pulled me from the earth ?    ❜

[barelyspeaks-a]

sms to indigo eyes

DAXTON: hey i'm sorry for making you worry i'm the worst

DAXTON: how's married life treating you? are you okay?

[thelivingstars-blog]

@likereligion.

           the warm light of the setting sun falls through the big windows, flooding the hall with brightness and the feeling of spring. alioth smiles without even noticing it anymore, his cheeks still damp from the amount of tears he shed during the ceremony, but the genuine sensation of happiness sitting deep inside of him; translucent skin seemingly glowing from inside out. he watches the guests as they move to their seats, leaving the area of the dance floor empty. music begins to play, his heart beginning to race behind the frail ribcage, shaky hands resting in his lap and oceanic eyes searching for his husband’s.

[sstardusted-blog]

@likereligion

she’s looking at him, eyebrow raised, leaning forward slightly with a dissapointed look on her face. usually she’s be raving, ranting, completely saying anything that comes to mind. but she’s finding herself silent in this moment, how things usually are with noah, because she’s not sure how she feels. a girl who’s usually burning with passion one way or another, it’s a shock to see her not openly swaying in whatever direction she’s feeling that moment. “well?” she finally starts off, leaning her elbows on the table. not a good sign. it’s looking like she’s going towards annoyed. though it’s too early to tell. “want to talk about last night? because there really weren’t many words used then, where there? instead, there was just a scene. which i have to admit, wasn’t exactly a good way to go about things.” not that she’s usually a vision of self control or the queen of properly expressing things. but still, she did have a thing for being hypocritical at times.

[barelyspeaks-a]

sms to indigo eyes

DAXTON: are you awake?

DAXTON: i'm scared

[eigengrav-archive]

@likereligion​.

        IT SMELLS OF SPRING and the colour of the flowers begins to intensify under the effect of the bright rays of sunlight as they fall through the big window, flooding the small flower shop and causing a comforting feeling of warmth to spread over ones body. clementine enjoys the mornings, rearranging the new orders of fresh flowers and humming along to the song playing quietly in the radio behind the counter. there are only two customers around, an older lady and a young man, both seemingly tiptoeing around the isle of cheerful boquets, though the male appears to be a little more troubled. it captures clementine’s attention, wakes her curiosity. ❝ hey there. can i help you out, maybe? ❞