What Does Parenting Mean To You?: A Submission
I think we can all agree that our society could use some serious shaping up. A great deal is riding on the next generation’s tenacity and dedication to change, but helping THEIR generation to succeed is the responsibility of OUR generation.
As the mother of two boys, I feel especially responsible to dispell common mythos as to how one should behave and the way one feels about themselves.
I refuse to be complicit in the perpetuation of hatred, discrimination, and rape culture which is rampant in our generation, and because of that, I’m raising my boys to be the saviors of their own generation.
I admit, that may sound a bit dramatic, but if we all raised our boys (and girls, and those who don’t feel comfortable with either identity, too!) to be future generation saviors, their generation wouldn’t need saving in the first place.
Children are destroyed by the people who create them so frequently, and I think it only makes sense that they can just as easily be built up and empowered by their parents, too.
Because of all this and more, parenting to me means helping our children become the best versions of THEMSELVES they can possibly be.
Parenting means encouraging your children to look outside of themselves to see other people’s feelings, needs and rights.
Parenting means teaching your children about consent at an early age by teaching them anatomy, by teaching them about personal space, and by teaching them that, just as they deserve everyone’s respect, everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) deserves their respect.
Parenting means imparting wisdoms in hopes that it will better our world for everyone, not just for our children.
This requires patience and perserverance and above all, hope because if we’re not unabashedly hopeful about our children’s future, we’re selling our children short.
The other day, I questioned myself about my parenting.
I said “why am I raising sensitive, kind, feminist boys, when I go outside and I see children being bullied, demeaned, and abused by their parents? Kids who will inevitably grow up to be as dysfunctonal as my generation is, as hurt as I am? Who am I to think that my two boys can bring about the change we want to see, no, the change we NEED to see in this world?”
But still, I raise my sensitive, kind, feminist boys because I believe in them. I believe in them more than I believe in anything. And this community has helped me believe that there are enough parents who feel the same way that I do that in ten, fifteen, twenty years, our children will bring the change that my generation prays for.
Most importantly, I think parenting means raising your children to be comfortable in their own skin.
We have to foster a belief that EVERY person is deserving of love and of compassion.
We have to teach our children that it’s okay for them to be who they are, so long as they aren’t hurting anyone, and that everyone deserves the same consideration.
Parenting means teaching my boys that their skin, their sex, their orientation, their unique compositions, are not something to be ashamed of.
Parenting, to me, means allowing your children to be who they are while encouraging them to grow, to understand, to foster their creativity and their passion and to never be ashamed of who they are.
I spent my life being told who I was supposed to be, and as a parent, it is my job to never EVER tell my children who they are.
If our children are passionate about who they are, about THEMSELVES and their desires, about bettering themselves and their community the world as a whole… well, I don’t know about you, but I know I could sleep a little better at night.
~ Lily (with assistance by eliot-writes)
We’d like to thank lilithsaquarium (and her assistant) for this impassioned and inspired piece on what parenting means to her.
