#lilly's thoughts

[musicandtea-nerd]

New photos from "What Do You Want, Paul?" (from Jon's Instagram post)

[fairytale-stoner]

۶ৎ 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐀. | 𝐚𝐮𝐝𝐡𝐝 | 𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐟𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐫 ۶ৎ 18+

𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌: spring, self-care, 80s horror movies, cooking & baking, spicy food, green tea, being outside, daydreaming, wɛɛd.

𝖽𝗂𝗌𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌: having the big light on, wet socks, musicals, bigots, pushy people, overthinking.

[!]: asks are open, dm's for mutuals only 𖹭

my tags: [# lilly's camera] [# lilly's thoughts]

[musicandtea-nerd]

Watching the pro-shot, something that struck me in “Inevitable” is how much clearer it is that infected!Paul is the villain. The new choreography and performances, shown up close in the pro-shot, give us a clearer look than ever before at the horror show that Pokotho's created. Spoiler pictures and meta below the cut:

In the original, infected!Paul was manic (exuding forced joy as a reflection of Pokey’s glee at having caught him), but there were still many glimpses of the old Paul. For the first half of the song, at least, it wasn't clear to us if there was still some of the old Paul in there. 

Not this time! In the reprise, it's a lot clearer how being infected transformed Paul (other than the singing and dancing and having an even smoother leading man tenor voice). This infected!Paul in the reprise is confident, assured, and even predatory. Watching him perform “Inevitable,” it’s clear that that is Pokey. 

Lauren Lopez’s acting really sells how horrifying the scene is, and the choreography, lighting, and uncanny facial expressions and movements of everyone else emphasizes that. The infected corner her and chase her. Paul keeps grabbing her and dancing her around like a ragdoll, or grasping her hands tightly and not letting her go, uncaring of how terrified she is. 

And the editing in the proshot now?! When Paul and Emma first hug, just the little detail of his face being hidden as Emma smiles with relief gives an underlying note of suspense. 

And then Jon’s acting?? He pulls off infected!Paul so well. Truly in his villain era. Pokey shines through here, in Jon's performance, like nowhere else in the show. 

And the way Paul practically snarls at her, “If you give us one last show stopping number” before forcibly pushing her into the spotlight?! With Paul’s expression, it's clear how much he’s demanding it of her. Pokey’s frustration and insistence on having his way really shows through in that moment, too! 

My favorite underrated new choreography moment from “Inevitable” was after the line “Or I might be inclined to plant my seed”:

Paul stalks towards Emma, a spotlight trained on him. It’s like he’s glowing from within like the meteor, brimming with godlike power from Pokotho. 

The line “plant my seed” was always a creepy and rape-y line, but the choreography really underlined it. The way Paul stalks toward Emma filled me with visceral fear for her. This moment really felt like in a horror movie when the monster slowly and confidently approaches its victim.

And right before that, too, Paul already had Emma in his arms! He pushed her away, between the rows of the other infected, only to chase after her again. And isn't that exactly what Pokey is doing, reliving the chase and capture of Paul and his friends over and over again? 

This time loop is Pokey’s victory lap, his favorite show he wants to play over and over again. And he’s perfecting the performances. Over possibly years of time loops (maybe even the whole seven years between 2018 and 2025?), Pokey's gotten more control over everyone, especially Paul, who put up the most resistance. His toys are more broken in. In this version of "Inevitable," Pokey is fully in control, and now Paul has become the perfect leading man for him. He's Pokey's vessel leading the Hive: they follow his choreography, look to him when he announces the apotheosis, AND you can even see it at curtain call when he twirls his finger to "wrap up" the music and have Emma carried away. Pokey's presence in infected!Paul is so much clearer in the reprise because of the new choreography and performances, and it makes the horror and tragedy of the ending even more profound.

[musicandtea-nerd]

(gifs from hipsternumbertwo and mcshears)

Thinking about how Paul and Richie both stim by balling up their fists, fidgeting and shaking them nervously. I love them sm <3

[musicandtea-nerd]

This was my recent take in some tags and I wanted to elaborate about it because man, this is such an integral part of Paul's character to me!

It's weird to me when people think that Paul is fully content or satisfied with his life at the start of TGWDLM. This is Mr. “I’ve Never Been Happy” we’re talking about. My guy is just surviving on the bare essentials, coasting through life. The proof is in the shallow emotional connection he has with the people around him.

When you grow up poor, that can affect how you see yourself and it shapes your priorities of putting family finances and necessities before yourself. That's what motivates Paul to be such a job guy: he prioritizes having the financial security and stability that he didn't have growing up. Paul seems unambitious, but that's because reaching that economic safety was his goal. But even more importantly, he was never taught to give his emotional needs priority. This makes it all the more heartbreaking when Paul says in act II, "It doesn't matter what I want," because he grew up not having the luxury to think of that!!

So I don't see Paul as fully content at the start of TGWDLM; he's getting by having his survival needs met, but the fact that he struggles to connect with his co-workers/friends outside of work and yearns for Emma shows that he still has relationship aspirations to work towards now that his financial needs are met.

(In the TGWDLM timeline, the circumstances help his connection with others as everyone bands together against the apocalypse! He tries to save the town and his friends! He almost kisses Emma! But then the irony is how the apotheosis REALLY helps his Connection with others. In the Hive they're all one; nevermind that none of them have free will anymore. 😅)

TLDR: We joke about how Paul is a lame, awkward guy, but it's so important to consider Why He's Like That is probably because of lots of bullying and self-esteem issues that stem from going to Sycamore High School and growing up poor.

[musicandtea-nerd]

!!! Spoiler Paulkins moment from the pro-shot, pictures under the cut!

"In case we don't, kiss me?" "Okay."

THEY KEPT THE SOFT & SWEET VERSION OF PAUL SAYING "OKAY"

His heart eyes?!?!? The hope and excitement in his face that his crush he's been pining for asked him to kiss her?!?! He's so earnest when he breathes in, joy filling him up as he softly says, "Okay."

I'm dying here, he is so smitten and precious!!! 😭🥹😍

[musicandtea-nerd]

I love the little thing Paul did with his hands in the trailer. His hands balled up into fists and he was moving them nervously, his fingers kind of fidgeting. My interpretation of Paul being autistic varies at times, but when I saw this I was like, what is that if not a perfect portrayal of stimming? God I just love how Jon embodies his characters. The physicality is *chef's kiss*

[musicandtea-nerd]

Jon Matteson’s portrayal of Stu is such good acting, oh my god. His main scene and speech really stuck with me. He's the character I feel the most sorry for out of the whole friend group.

The fact that Stu is such a happy-go-lucky, easy-going guy with lame humor is so endearing, and it makes it extra tragic when the people who are supposed to be his friends push him past his limits. (I thought it was kind of like the break the cutie trope, but then I realized that for Stu it's the variant, break the comedian, trope.) It's so freaking sad when a fun, optimistic character is brought to their breaking point.

Stu's reactions as Mykel tells him about the group chat about him are heartbreaking:

Stu: “...Okay, crickets.” 

Mykel: “Hey, you guessed the name.” Stu still has a clueless smile on his face as he turns to Mykel. Then, after it’s explained to him, there's Stu’s gradual realization:

Stu turns to look around and grins, still trying to maintain a light atmosphere and be in on the joke: “Wow, roasted.” 

Everyone’s quiet; he looks around at them more. In denial, he swallows roughly and tries to smile. “It’s actually really funny you guys do this.” 

As he looks around more and is met with more silence, his smile fades and he sits down. “None of you find me funny?” More silence, and the look on his face as it sinks in is just so—?!

I felt betrayed and outraged on his behalf! Like there could've been a much better way his friends could have gently told him that his jokes are cringe, if at all, instead of revealing that they make fun of him behind his back.

The transition from happy obliviousness to growing hurt and then the outburst is so well done and heartbreaking. 😭 There’s no way that the friend group is going to keep together after this. Too many secrets and confessions were revealed for them to come back from. 

The fact that Stu even drove up to the AirBNB by himself is so sad! He deserves so much better. 🥺