#lim.vent

[ch3rryp0pper]

If I could go One Fucking Day without fucking up a good thing for myself that would be fantastic.

[ch3rryp0pper]

Absolutely hate the adhd + cptsd combo because it feels like my brain will wander up to me at random to fucking uppercut me and then move on like nothing happened

Me: wow I’m so excited for this new spyro game, it’s so cool that they’re making a new one after all this time

My brain, picking up a sack of rocks: do you think your mom is gonna think about you when she hears the news? do you think she still mourns you after you abandoned her?

Me: ok man. sure

[ch3rryp0pper]

im stuck in front rn and im so fucking scared for when someone comes back. i want to be here forever but i don’t want to be here at all. i don’t want to hear about how badly i fucked up and what i did wrong

i know he means well. i know he’s trying to be nicer and he’s even doing a good job. he is nicer to me but the fact that he doesn’t even notice the undercurrent of disgust in everything he says to me makes it even worse. it’s better and i should be grateful but it still isn’t good.

[ch3rryp0pper]

I miss Van. I try to stay lighthearted and make jokes with the others about her, and I’m sure she truly is running some pizza joint like the Navy somewhere. I just wish she was here. I don’t know how to live without her. I hope she knows that I still love her, wherever she is.