“MEMO: CLARIFYING OUR PROFESSIONAL VALUES”
To: All Staff From: Department of Controlled Vocabulary Date: 2/4/16 Subject: Clarifying Our Professional Values
Utilize our company tone in all of your official communications―beds asleep under moons will no longer be available on Tuesday―if possible your unofficial messages―manhandled by males the mailman weeps, he is catalogued as he―We strive to combine professionalism and authority with fun―body hair growing wild will not be tolerated all violators will report to AB500 [See Official Handbook, section 67b]―our records of cannon fire are soundless―our goal for the removal of things [ideas, animals, people, objects, earth phenomena organic and inorganic, etc.] harmful to society will be omitted from the official index―decisions made by the Board of Things will be enforced―your voice boxes will be removed for your own safety; our commitment to safety is deep―we rely on you to maintain control. Erase the mailman. By Kodi Saylor, from Lime Hawk
