— a short story about loneliness and love
For as long as Berwyn could remember, Sean had always hated him.
Well, to be fair, “hate” was a strong word — “disliked strongly” probably fit better.
They’d grown up together in a small village, where the river was crystal clear and the birds sang at the dawn of every new day. They had actually been pretty close as children — Berwyn still remembered them “sword-fighting” with sticks they had found, ending with him stumbling into a stream.
He also remembered the day it all changed.
Berwyn had waited all day for Sean to come back from a hunting trip with his father; he was probably around ten years old. He’d nearly died of boredom, but he’d done it — so when he saw his best friend walk over the top of the hill, Berwyn could hardly hold his excitement.
The same couldn’t be said for Sean.
His eyes had remained solemnly on the ground, brushing past him as if he were nothing but a tree.
From that day forward, Sean refused to acknowledge Wyn, merely sending him a blank stare once in a while. “Hurt” was an understatement — Wyn was devastated. Other than Sean, no one else had bothered to talk to him. The rest of his childhood was filled with fake smiles throughout the day and cold, lonely nights, where only his tear stained pillow could bring him comfort.
Despite their broken past, both Berwyn and Sean matured to be fine warriors. Sean trained personally with his own group of friends, while Wyn grew closer to the humble training instructor, Cara. She was nearly a foot shorter than him and had a wide, toothy grin that greeted him every time he entered the arena.
Wyn finally found someone to rely on.
He and Cara just seemed to click — there were times where the two collapsed onto the sandy ground laughing, clutching at their stomachs and eyes tearing. Other times, Wyn would find himself knocking on the door of Cara’s little cottage in the depths of the night, desperate for some sign of human contact. Cara always let him spend the night.
Despite her size, Cara was undeniably the strongest person Berwyn had ever met. He remembered wincing the first time she slapped his back in congratulations, pouting when she barked out a loud laugh at his reaction. She taught him how to guard properly and how to make the most of his strength — sometimes Wyn saw Sean and his friends walk by, trying his hardest not to look over at them.
He missed all the small glances Sean sent his way.
Berwyn also took up whittling throughout the years. He gave most of his creations to Cara, shyly scratching the back of his neck whenever he handed her one. Her eyes would always light up, lips stretching into a wide smile as she lifted him in a hug. She showed them all off on a little stand in her living room, making sure to dust them off every week.
For the first time in a long while, Wyn didn’t feel alone.
Finally, the time for a battle came. Wyn was more than prepared — he was ready to prove himself, to show his village that he was worthy of their trust and loyalty. Although he entered the fight at Cara’s side, they quickly became separated in the midst of the chaos; not that he was worried.
Cara’s training had definitely pulled off. Berwyn was unstoppable, tackling his enemies and finishing them with one strike. He knew the other warriors were watching him — he could feel their eyes burning into his back, but he didn’t mind. It was what he wanted, after all. He wanted to be recognized; acknowledged. Just as he felt confidence seeping into his bones, the wind was knocked out of Berwyn’s chest.
He watched as Sean was pinned to the ground, a blade raised and aimed for the center of his chest.
Wyn’s feet moved before his mind could grasp what was happening. He shoved the enemy warrior off, tussling with him on the ground for a bit before landing a finishing blow. He looked up to see Sean staring at him with wide eyes, mouth hanging open.
Before he could say anything more, a victorious cry rang out. His people raised their swords in triumph as the opposing army retreated. Berwyn was quickly surrounded by his fellow warriors and was lifted into the air, shock numbing him as they began to chant his name.
Sean walked away, sword dragging on the ground beside him.
News spread quickly, and when Wyn returned home, he was immediately showered with praise and gifts. Everyone in the village had heard of how he had fought so viciously. He accepted the compliments with a flushed face and an embarrassed smile, laughing when Cara tackled him with a hug. After years of training in the shadows and longing to be known, Berwyn had finally gained the love of his village.
A single warrior remained silent, watching from the back of the crowd. Sean turned and walked down a leafy trail out of the village, and Berwyn kindly made his way through his new found supporters and chased after him.
Finally, finally, the two met each other’s eyes. Wyn’s were a clear shade of blue, while Sean’s were a solid brown.
“Go away.” The words were soft spoken, nearly impossible to hear, but they were there; the first words Sean had said to Wyn in years.
It was enough to make Berwyn tear up. Despite being abandoned by him, despite their friendship being left in ruins, there was something within Wyn that drew him to Sean. It had been nearly a decade since they had truly had a conversation, and yet there was a feeling in Wyn’s heart that tugged him towards him.
“Why?” he asked, trying to keep his bottom lip from shaking. “After all this time—”
“Just go, Berwyn.” Sean began to walk further into the woods, leaves crunching underneath his boots.
Wyn felt his heart crack. He almost let him walk away — almost.
Instead, he drew in a shaky breath and let the tears start cascading down his face, covering his cheeks and making the evening air feel that much colder.
“Why do you hate me?” he shouted.
He hated how his voice cracked, and he hated how Sean immediately stopped in his tracks, refusing to turn around. Wyn directed his gaze to the ground, sniffling as his chest constricted with the pain of a broken heart.
“I could’ve forgotten about you, you know. After all these years, I could have just shoved the thought of you away—”
“Maybe I should have, but I didn’t! I spent countless nights with you on mind,” Sean’s eyes grew wide, “wondering why you stopped talking to me, wondering what I did wrong. I was terrified of making new friends because I was convinced they would leave me,” he paused before adding, “Just like you.”
Sean swallowed, shaking his head. “Berwyn, do you even realize how long ago that was?”
“Does it matter?” Wyn let out a deep sigh, defeat beginning to weigh him down.
He had his entire village’s support, and yet there was truly only one opinion that mattered to him.
“Just tell me why,” he begged, eyes still trained on the forest floor. “Why did you leave me?”
Silence, once again. Wyn hated it.
He finally looked up, only to be met with Sean’s back. He still hadn’t turned around. “Why did you stop talking to me? What did I do wrong?" Berwyn felt fresh, hot tears fall down his face, blurring his vision and making the autumn leaves look like tiny, burning stars. “I know you don’t like me anymore, and I know you don’t want to be around me, but please—”
In an instant, Sean turned and stepped over to Wyn, engulfing him in a strong hug. Wyn’s eyes were wide, his tears falling onto Sean’s shoulder as he began to talk.
“I never wanted to stop talking to you, idiot,” he said, and Wyn was surprised to hear his voice was shaking. “It was my dad. He said I was getting too close to you, and with how my training was going, I didn’t need any distractions.” Sean spoke quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could second guess himself. He tightened his hold on Wyn, and Wyn slowly raised his own arms to wrap around his old friend. “All that training, and for what?” Sean questioned, voice shaking and filled with uncertainty. “Father is going to have my head for how poorly I did in that fight, not to mention how I ran off afterward.”
“Do you really care about what he thinks that much?”
“I have to,” he argued, pausing before he added, “He’s all I have.” Wyn softened. Sean had no siblings, and his mother had passed away because of an illness when he was young.
Berwyn swallowed. “You have me.” Sean nodded hesitantly, pressing his forehead onto Wyn’s shoulder.
“I don’t think I want to go back,” Sean said after a few moments, his voice unnaturally quiet. He finally released his hold to look Wyn in his eyes.
“We don’t have to.” Sean gave him a questioning look. Wyn looked over his friend’s shoulder. “The world is right there, Sean. It’s waiting for us.”
He scoffed. “You just want to leave? Just like that?”
“Do you have any other suggestions?”
“What about the village? And Cara?”
Wyn shook his head, a small smile taking over his lips. “You know, all this time, I thought getting everyone to like me would make me feel less lonely. Really, I only needed you.” Surprise was evident in Sean’s gaze before it shifted into something else, something softer. “And I’m not worried for Cara. She’s strong, and I have a feeling she won’t be surprised. I told her about you, you know.”
“All good things, I hope?” Wyn snorted, and Sean huffed out a laugh. The sun finally dipped under the horizon, the sky fading from an exciting orange into a deep blue. “The world is waiting,” Sean repeated, nodding. “Well, it’s been waiting long enough, hasn’t it?”
Berwyn grinned. “It has.” He reached out a hand. “Will you explore the world and more with me, Sean?” Sean firmly gripped his hand.
Lonely blue eyes collided with an uncertain brown.
“The world and more,” he promised.
sean and wyn don’t have to be in love. they can be, but they don’t have to be. that’s not what this story is about.
the moral of the story is that, even with all of your peers’ acceptance and love, you can still feel lonely. you can still be doubtful and sad — and there might only be one person who can truly make you feel whole. your soulmate, if you want to call it that — your person. your other half. whether your relationship is romantic or platonic with them doesn’t matter — it could be your childhood friend, your significant other, your sibling. it’s amazing how much it can vary.
if you made it this far, thank you for reading <3 this is just a little wip that’s been sitting in my drafts for a while. feedback is always welcome!
