Of Sin, Salt and Slack: A SDR2 Critical Walkthrough, Day 9 + 10!
It’s Day 9! I’ve spent a few hours decluttering my laptop and streamlining my workflow for writing. My original note app, Zoho Notebook, pissed me off because when you have long documents or a lot of notes, it tries to compete with a honey trail into my warm milk for slowness. It seems all note apps cannot agree on streamlining experiences for their users. Features get ommitted with updates and never come back, export and import options vary widely, basic features like tags and folders aren’t commonplace and if you’re super lucky, the dev decided batch select was optional.
…Just like they thought structure and personality was optional in this game. I guess people never change.
Either way, let’s get into it! Who’s our next victim after yesterday’s moral deprivation?! If you're coming back, we met Nekomaru, Peko, Sonia and Teruteru. Nekomaru is the author-designated dumbass that I like more than his flagship big-brains because he's loud and laid-back. Peko is a red flag with a sword and emotional constipation, Sonia is so hollow she exists as a harassment joke punchline though a sponsorship for Princess Vibes Cosmetics and the fitting nothingspeak, and Teruteru is the arbiter of said punchline only black-white background ghosts laugh about. Also he's the encapsulation of the game's failures. If he made it through you know the trash compactor in production wasn't firing.
[Scene 10 - Prologue, Ranch. Magical Girlfailure mode to body horror. (54:48)]
Nagito: "This looks like a ranch."
Is it your turn to quote the obvious now? Really though… what is it now, a corral or a ranch? I can see a farmhouse there too. A corral is technically part of a ranch. For a corral it’s sparsely lived in. That chicken either has the time of its life or needs therapy for touch starvation.
Larry: "…Though there aren’t many animals around."
I beat you to it again Larry. NEXT.
Usami: "Aww…you found it out!"
Yes Usami, we have eyes. Do you just have buttons or what is that supposed to mean? Did you pull a deal with an other mother?
Oh and now there’s an extra animal. No corral without bunnies! …Unless you're in Watership Down.
Larry: "You again! Seriously, where do you keep appearing from!?"
From nowhere, Larry. If you flicked the reset button up there maybe you’d realise she teleported. However, you’re in denial every time you could ask an unconventional question or have a logical thought.
Usami: "I can show up anywhere, anytime! The system allows me to appear anywhere on the island!"
One, Usami is dumber than Hajime, two, the blatant worldbuilding ‘hint’ in this would leave a mark on my forehead if I facepalmed as hard as I rolled my eyes. It’s like breaking a hole into the Sistine Chapel with a truck and calling it art.
Usami: "It’s all thanks to this handy-dandy Magic Stick!"
Wow, really? Her powers are tied to her Magic Stick? Everyone and their mother knows most Magical Girls only transform with their magic item, so why do you look like you’re already transformed??
Someone at Spikey based Usami off their vague childhood memories of Sailor Moon and Pretty Cure and threw them in the blender at max speed so all we get is runny pink sludge.
Not to mention that this is foreshadowing for when Monokuma beats her up. He cracks her stick and her conviction with it. Alter Ego, or whoever the fuck at Future Foundation programmed this rollercoaster, why did you give the supervisor of this program an accessory to access her powers instead of loading them straight into her?
I only have one answer for that, plot convenience. Makes Usami a nice punching bag and harmless to the wonky outline you needed to make work. Whatever sysadmin you pick, they'd fire before you breathed on the keyboard… Unless you're managing npm.
Larry: (Magic Stick, huh?… Is she talking about that toy she’s holding?)
You conveniently forgot she summoned sparkly hearts from it half an hour ago. And why is that your reference of a toy? Did your mom give you hers? Let me guess, you’ve never seen a Magical girl before, either.
Usami: "Hmmm…still, I am quite troubled…"
That there’s so little animals on the ranch? You have better things to worry about, like explaining to your students what the hell is going on. Or be sincere about being useless and go get milk for good. I'm sure Rocketpunch has a lot of it.
Usami: "A ranch without any moo-cows is like a soccer team without any balls."
Every time Usami makes a dirty joke I die inside. What is she now? A grown teacher? The butt of the joke? An innocent girl? I swear this game reeks of lazy compromise.
Nagito: "You might want to rephrase that…"
Moving on. Another cringe joke.
I started too late and I’m too tired to continue, which means Day 9 - END,(55:22). Let’s see how harshly they assassinate Usami tomorrow!
DAY 10! I am cranky like an old man and figured that I need to pace myself with screentime and set timers to do some stretches. I don’t want to become a shrimp and end up in someone’s fried rice at some point of my life! Maybe that chicken on Usami corral will though… or we’re going for oyakodon, because this game is as much of a cruel joke as the meal. Except the food tastes good. I am the final boss of runny eggs you’ll need to defeat. LET’S GOOOO
Usami: "All righty! Just leave it to me and my handy-dandy Magic Stick!"
Ugh, her voice is just as terrible for her role as her personality. It’s like someone retained their mushy toddler-accent up into adulthood. She speaks words so softly I’d be surprised she could slot wooden blocks into the right holes.
Usami: "Bibidi Bobidi! Bibidi Bobidi!"
What are you now? Sailor Moon or a Disney godmother? At least the dramatic chanting of Anglicised attack names is on point for the Magical Girl (and Shounen, I’ll happily offend everyone by saying it’s Magical Boy) tropes.
Usami: "Bibidibibidi! Bobidibobidi!"
…And when are we seeing your new form?
Usami: "Bu! Turn into a moo-cow!"
Ah, it’s gonna be the chicken’s new form.
Larry: "…BWHAAAAAAAAA-!?"
This is the only time you couldn’t get away with compartmentalising shit. Do they bother bringing up Usami’s magic outside of bonking Monobeats later?
I wonder how the chicken’s feeling in its new body. Why isn’t it panicking? Is it too dumb? I'd be distressed too if someone body swapped me into something larger, less mobile that needs to walk on all fours.
You really didn't take into account its headspace, Usami, did you?
Usami: "Harumph! A huge success!"
You just had to whip out your wand and chant the holy spells of glitter dust. Why do you phrase it like it was a huge achievement?
You could’ve made a friend for the cow at least. Use that toucan next if you pull things through to the end.
Larry: "Wh-What was all that just now…?"
Exactly what I saw. Usami turned Miss Karaage into Miss Wagyu. The udders aren’t coloured for some reason. This time you’re excused for thinking you’re hallucinating.
Larry: "A-A chicken…changed into…a cow!?"
Nagito: "Nah, it’s probably some sort of trick or illusion. I bet it was set up before we got here."
Says the idiot that had a meteorite crash into the exact plane his parents were on. How high is the likelihood of that? SSR Gacha banner first-try? Winning the lottery three times? Getting lightning to strike you?
Nagito: "She was probably trying to make us happy, but…I guess it had the opposite effect on you, Hajime."
It’s Larry. I swapped in Hajime during the first introduction at the beach and you didn’t notice yet. Not that I'm surprised. Now where the hell do you read that from? Usami admitted herself that she wanted a cow on the ranch and back on the beach, she was gaslighting you and withholding information. Is the invisible prompter whispering the subtext in your ear?
That was probably to stroke her ego again… As swinging as stick is hardly remarkable for most magicians.
Larry: (…A trick? An illusion?)
Larry: (W-Well, if you think rationally, it makes sense…)
Implying what you just thought about this trick was irrational. Yes, she uses magic! Maybe it should've started dawning on you when she made the classroom collapse!
Either way, congratulations! This is the first time you react to magic like a human being.
Shame it will last for this scene only.
Larry: (A chicken can’t just change into a cow. Messing with living things like that is just not cool, you know?)
You’re throwing shade on every beasttamer, necromancer and summoner in the existence of games. You will be recruited as ‘Larry, the Sorry Soul of a Dead Sea Urchin’ that has 5 HP but is so prickly no one wants to hit it. But yes, I agree that Usami doing that was as empathetic as a baseball bat to the noggin.
…Especially since I know that cow’s gonna see Nekomaru’s fists and end up at the party as murder weapon concealment. A cow has one of the important roles of this game!
[Scene 11 - Prologue, Ranch. Japanese VS. Japan nerd, GO! (56:14)]
Hiyoko: "Squish! Squish!"
Ah yes, the Nihon Buyo redux.
Larry: (What’s this kid doing?)
Do you have working eyes or is that a metaphorical question?
Larry: (She’s sitting down and she keeps pressing her finger onto the floor with all her strength.)
Larry is short-sighted and blind to trails of ants.
Larry: "Um, are you okay? I haven’t introduced myself, right?"
Mentally? Good question. NEXT.
Larry: "My name is Hajime Hinata…"
Hiyoko: "I’m Hiyoko Saionji."
TIME! Fastest introduction so far. Now we wait for it to get ruined.
SPINNN, SPINN SPINN, sorry, I hypnotised you with my spinning top.
We’ve got another Americanisation AND a fuckup of danganronpa.wiki.
The (Ultimate) SHSL Traditional Dancer angle ignores that this is a Japanese game and makes you assume whatever country stepdance you saw when you visited Texas. danganronpa.wiki is even worse by translating it as ‘Classical Dancer’. When I think of classical dance, I think of waltzing to a piano ensemble. That’s why specificity is essential.
The original text would be translated into ‘SHSL Nihon Buyo Dancer/Japanese Dancer’. Nihon Buyo, which translates to ‘Japanese dance’ is a subtype of Japanese dance (blame the natives, they called it that confusingly) originally derived from kabuki and is a separate categorisation from noh and odori. It’s refined and supposed to be performed for entertainment on a stage.
Of course, what you can barely call nods towards that will be Hiyoko being too spoiled to tie her obi…which I can do, and I'm an idiot and has one stage performance with Ibuki with a static CGI in Chapter 3. Then Mikan ties her obi in front like that of a good ol’ oiran during her murder. I guess you can die stylishly at least.
Her design is also a failure. She looks like kimono-wearing blonde Nr. 6 and I’m still trying to figure out whether she’s wearing a furisode or a normal-length sleeve kimono.
…It’s a tsukesage. Semi-formal. Pattern on the lower hem. Anything more casual would be symmetrically patterned. Don't look at me for yukata, some look like komon, some like short-sleeve furisode and most like a black shibori fashion disaster that melts my eyes.
I have to correct myself. Even the native traditions get mugged for the aesthetic flash reel of Spike Chunsoft.
Hiyoko: "Squish! Squish!"
What can I say? Her voice matches her face. DId you know Larry collects her underwear too? Yep, I wanted to be sure you keep that in mind.
Larry: (She hasn’t stopped pressing her finger onto the floor… Seriously, what’s she doing?)
Seriously, you can’t see the ants? You’re bad at seeing things so maybe we should look for glasses for you.
Larry: (And her appearance and voice are so young… I can’t believe she’s actually a high school student.)
Do they mention why she looks like this, ever? Nutritional deprivation? Excessive training and thus a delay in development from stress? I’m throwing these things out there when I’m sure Spikey skimmed over it and went ‘this is fine’.
Seriously though, why is she a loli? Why did you need one?
Nagito: "Hiyoko’s talent has made her known as the (Ultimate) Traditional Dancer."
I did my research better than you, Nagito. Rough times.
Nagito: "As a rookie, the Japanese dance industry expects a lot from her. She’s already performed overseas many times."
Then she’s not a rookie, and why does the dance industry expect so much from her? NEXT.
Nagito: "It seems her performances are popular among young audiences, which is rare in the Japanese dance industry."
This makes my head ache. Why would set tradition suddenly be interesting to a younger audience? Did they pay good money for marketing or do they specialise in the more modern shin-buyo? But that'd mean her tradition is less then a hundred years old because shin-buyo was created during the Taisho era (1912–1926). But hey, modern kimono pretend they're ages old when their convoluted seasonal, formality and fabric rules came in with profit maximisation. Whatever, no thought put into this.
Nagito: "Well, then again, her fans are mostly men."
Why are these girls’ talents seen from the focus of men? If you’ll excuse me, I’ll throw up on you.
Larry: (It’s probably because she looks so young… Her fans probably all have the same niche or something.)
The niche is called pedophilia. Call it for what it is, you moron. If the writers try to soften it one more time I’m going to serve them on brown rice sprinkled with responsibility avoidance sesame.
If you have lead in her nastiness with sexual abuse the same way Kotoko in AE did, she'd be a better character. I might do an analysis of AE later too, but if my memory serves me correct she had the throughline of a messed up kid with hypersexuality as a coping mechanism and everyone was too busy getting offended and uncomfortable. But that’d shoo away your audience! Oh nooo!
The cutting off her clothes part was awful though, no front.
(Future Muku: Good luck getting me to do that after the Servant analysis. No.)
Achievement unlocked: Spikey doesn’t give a shit!
Hiyoko: "Squish! Squish!"
Larry: "Hey, what exactly are you doing?"
You should’ve asked this two internal monologues ago.
Hiyoko: "Hmmm? I’m squishing!"
Hiyoko: "Mr. Ant, of course. I’m squishing lots of Mr. Ants."
How did her grandma let her get away with being an asshole? Why are you squishing ants? It’s gross to have their remains on your fingers. This is supposed to be an heiress to a generations-old dancing tradition. Or whatever her grandma fabricated up for her to believe it's prestigious if it's shin-buyo.
It’s canon, Larry is blind. NEXT.
Hiyoko: "Hehe… If you squish their tummies just right, it makes this awesome sound."
Proof? Does anyone have merciless toddlers and can verify what she’s saying? I thought kids usually play with beetles or rainworms.
Hiyoko: "Wanna do it together!?"
Her dialogue says ‘Onii’, which is big brother. Welcome to lolicore.
Ah yes, is this the type of princess you imagined when you said Sonia was unusually approachable?
She sounds like she’s disappointed.
Loli + humiliation? Very creative. Very questionable. I’d have preferred if only Mahiru did it because she looks of age.
Larry: "Th-This kid… her attitude doesn’t match her appearance at all."
Cool, we got trivia on traditional art, kimono, gender dynamics and pedophilia courtesy of me instead of character insight! Courtesy of a salty dweeb who put more work into their one DR OC than these guys into the game.
Akane: "Heeeey! Who’re you dudes?"
Achievement unlocked: Collective amnesia
Larry: "It’s nice to finally meet you… I’m Hajime Hinata."
I forgot to wipe your name partition when I swapped in Larry, huh. You sound like you were matched up for a political marriage and fell in love with Akane's selfie so hard you travelled across the globe to meet her.
Akane: "Gotcha… And who’s this other dude?"
It’s Larry, occasionally lobotomised instead of always.
Nagito: "…Huh? Haven’t we already met?"
Why do you only mention that with Akane? What about Mikan, Sonia, Mahiru, anyone that never acknowledges you had introduced yourself before?
Ah right, to make her look dense when all of you are.
Akane: "Oh, haha! I’m so sorry!"
Nagito, you’ve gone into protagonist range for so long the mediocrity rubbed off on you.
Akane: "I pretty much suck at rememberin’ names, and I’ve met so many interestin’ characters today."
We’re playing her as dumb straight away, but honestly, how’d you remember the names of 16 people you met in the course of an hour? You’d need a bunch of repetition to let it stick. She’s being honest about what she thinks of her classmates… albeit just so vaguely that they might as well not exist.
Thankfully for me, and unfortunately for the last legs the plot is standing on, Akane admits that everyone got introduced to each other too and they conveniently don’t mention them. Lack of a storyboard go brrrrr.
Nagito: "I’m Nagito Komaeda. If you can, please don’t forget my name again…"
Thanks for the guilt-tripping, Nagito. JUST TELL HER YOUR NAME YOU ASSHOLE.
Akane: "Yo! The name’s Akane Owari! Nice to meetcha!"
…Is she wearing a bra? With how women are treated in this game, she’s bare beneath it. I’m surprised one can’t see her nipples. Girls can decide not to wear them, I just don't see why they couldn't bother with more than the most barebones uniform and cleavage.
SPINN SPINN SPINN, oh I threw my frisbee in the tree.
This one is confusing because I don’t remember much about Akane except fighting and some parkour. Her Japanese title would translate to ‘Gymnastics Club’ in which ‘gymnastics’ can mean artistic gymnastics or normal gymnastics. Either way, the 'club' meaning was removed once again. I’ll stick with the normal gymnastics for this.
All in all, "SHSL Gymnastics Club Member" is right. Good job on that one, danganronpa.wiki.
Nagito: "Akane is known as the (Ultimate) SHSL Gymnast, and an all-around super athlete."
Then why isn’t she called the SHSL Athlete? I’m not going to pretend I know jack about the sports industry because I die when I do two situps.
Nagito: "Rumor has it she’s a wild troublmaker, but her athletic ability is off the charts."
Another boring wikipedia recital and you avoiding specifics on what medals she won or competitions she entered.
Nagito: "However, her basics and fundamentals are all over the place, so her gymnastic routines are mostly improvised."
This is the first time specificity served a character and it’s in one I was expecting it least in. Good job, Akane.
Nagito: "If she’s in her groove, she performs splendidly. but if she’s not, she loses interest and switches it up."
This right there is potential for a character arc, though I’d love to know why she’s so stop-and-go. You could say that’s just impulse, but that's what usually gives you a flat character that only focuses on survival. Which reminds me she’s lived on the streets… That’s actually a really solid character. You need to improvise when you can get mugged randomly.
…However, Japan allegedly has a low crime rate, so why does her backstory sound like she’s from Brazil? Not that it matters, again. They won't put that into the game, and I won't pretend they did either.
Larry: (How self-centered… No matter how you cut it, she definitely sounds like a troublemaker…)
For WHAT, Larry? You’ve been clinging to the shirt hem of Nagito for most of this prologue and were ruining people’s fun because you want to go to Hope’s Peak. Stop snorting the projectium and copium. Akane’s at least got agency of her own and coaches herself. That's more than you've been doing for over half an hour.
God, my image of you tanks and tanks. We must be at the core of the Earth now. If this were Minecraft, you'd have mysteriously managed to blast past bedrock.
Larry: (Even so, she’s called the (Ultimate) SHSL Gymnast for a reason, so her performances must be amazing to see…)
No she isn’t. I hereby give Akane permission to crush Larry’s head like a watermelon. Though it’ll likely moreso give in like a rotting coconut.
Larry: (I…can’t visualise her as a normal high school student. I mean, she’s got the physique of an Olympic athlete.)
Is she a GYMNAST or an ATHLETE? Pick one Spikey. You can very much visualise her as one, I don't know what part of your noise filter breaks from her wearing a school uniform. Getting jacked doesn’t mean you have to skip school and go brawling with boryokudan in Shibuya in sukeban uniforms. …Noted redesign idea.
Or maybe you could touch on xenophobia for her skin colour because it shows in everything in Japan. See region-locks, Japan-only content and events, licensing issues and people being too prudish to let you access their MikuMikuDance model without an obsure password from nikonikodouga. The Japanese tried to make the Koreans look like idiots with a xenophobic manga in the past already. They can be goddamn glad I’m so fascinated by their culture.
Wow! It ended on a remark on her body! What. A. Game.
Nagito: "Huh? Don’t tell me you…"
Nagito: "Oh, I get it! So, you have a thing for sexy bodies, huh?"
Akane, crush both of their heads please. I'm feeling bloodlust.
Larry: "You’re being really loud… I know you’re doing this on purpose."
If this was supposed to be funny, I'd prefer haemorrhoids.
selects bridge to Central Island
Nagito: "Hajime… It looks like if we go across this bridge, we can reach another island not far from here."
This is why modern gaming is shit. Everyone’s sense of discovery and wonder is undermined when you get things explained to you five times.
I’ll figure it out once a plank breaks and you take a dive. Please do.
Why would you doubt the construction of the bridge anyway? Did you see any rot or broken wood? Probably not. The only other option is to multiply and march over it in sync so the vibrations destroy it.
Nagito: "That’s what we’re going to find out, right?"
DON’T REWARD HIM FOR HIS PARANOIA YOU NUT.
Larry: (If it’s not safe when we get there, then what will you do…?)
Run? Like any smart person? …Wait.
What exactly are you scared about at this point? Did you get Irukandji syndrome and a sudden sense of doom out of the blue? It's all whine whine whine scary whine louder and then get cheered up by Nagito.
selects bridge to second Island
Larry: (I see a bridge in the distance but it looks like there’s a gate blocking it.)
In the distance? The gate and bridge start right in front of you.
Oh, there’s frangipani. Let’s see if the vegetation grows in in their approximate location or they tacked on generic tropical flowers (TM) for flavour!
Of course they did. These two flowers I’m guessing are Hibiscus x rosa sinensis and Plumeria alba, which are native to Polynesia and the Karribean respectively. They’re both used as ornamental shrubs, so you can’t tell whether they grow natively on Jabberwock or were put there for the ‘tropical feeling’ shorthand.
It’s fascinating how different the species can look, a thousand times cooler than whatever these two narrative disappointments are doing. Look up Hibiscus schizopetalus or insularis, shizopetalus specifically looks like a red spider lily and a hibiscus had a dramatically frilly baby. That was a brief Wikipedia skim, by the way.
Nagito: "It looks like there’s another island on the other side of the bride, but it seems we can’t cross it."
Typo, and yes, the reticle already told me that. NEXT.
Larry: "Yeah, that seems to be the case."
WE PASSED AN HOUR OF PLAYTIME BABYYYYY
Larry: "So…this is a park…"
Haven’t seen one before, either? What are you, a test tube experiment that lived inside till age 15?
Nagito: "A park surrounded by the ocean…"
Please let a tsunami hit it. NEXT.
Nagito: "Hmm, it feels so nice."
WHAT feels so nice? The breeze? The warmth? The sunburn you’ve got to have already? Or is a mosquito sucking the life out of you?
Larry: (Such a laidback attitude.)
No, you call that terminal room-temperature IQ. The ambient temp on this island is higher than both of your brain cells combined. SHUT UP ALREADY LARRY. We get it, you’re trying to ruin everyone’s fun again… Do you ever get tired?
Larry: (But…if weren’t in a situation like this, I’d probably be enjoying some lazy sunbathing myself.)
…You are surrounded by trees and Nagito is supposedly doing some sunbathing? I called your bitter whining. Cry harder.
Larry: (‘If’ being the key word.)
Meta voice: (How are your introductions going? I’d like to inform you about another feature.)
They’re going garbage, thanks for asking! Why didn’t you tell me about the feature before?? Is it so special you needed to save it up for later?
Meta voice: (You may have already noticed, but you have a level assigned to you.)
…Which you could’ve explained to me with the Tamagotchi, either way, both are padding.
Meta voice: (It’s displayed on the top right corner of your screen.)
No shit, it’s been bothering me constantly.
Meta voice: (Your level increases by performing various actions, such as walking, examining and talking to others.)
This is your way to get people motivated to play through this slog of a game. You know what’d have been more fun? Making the characters and world engaging.
Meta voice: (Every time you level up, you will become stronger than you were before.)
Why should I believe you?
Meta voice: (The number of skills you can equip will also increase, so please try your hardest to level up often.)
… So you’re gacha-baiting me into wasting my time to get my full powers. The slot expansion would be unneccessary if you had fun trial mechanics and a well-tuned difficulty that'd require me to be smart about the ones I choose, but apparently putting work into making a GAME fun instead of being condescending is beyond your comprehension!
[Scene 12 - Prologue, Central Island. No Larry, being rich is not a talent. (01:00:47)]
Byakuya: "…What do you want?"
I want to create a time rift and go to the alternative universe where this story is made with care.
Larry: (Th-This guy’s presence is overwhelming. He doesn’t seem very approachable…)
That’s because his first and only love was the backmost table in his neighborhood KFC.
Larry: (Even his body is overwhelming.)
Nagito: "Ah, Byakuya… Have time for a small introduction?"
He needs to. He too is subservient to the plot tourist train that decided he’d be out on the edges of the resort for no reason, just so we see everything.
Byakuya: "…Introduction?"
You’ve introduced yourself to all the others, why're you surprised now? NEXT.
Still Larry. What’re you gonna do? Give him a dog treat afterwards if he behaves?
Larry: "Um, hello. My name is Hajime Hinata."
Byakuya: "My name is Byakuya Togami…"
SPINN SPINN SPINN, I’m a rottisserie chicken!!
danganronpa.fandom fucked up again on the Japanese translation! They translated it as ‘SHSL Heir’ when it’s ‘SHSL Son of a noble/distingished family’ that makes it half a headache to translate. After a little research, the best word for it would be ‘SHSL Scion’. Calling him the Ultimate Affluent Progeny isn’t wrong, it just focuses on his wealth more than his family history.
Byakuya: "…I’m done. That’s it, right?"
FINALLY! Someone with common sense!
I like your no-bullshit attitude. Let’s see for how long.
Larry: (I-I can tell…this guy is thumbling his nose at me…)
Maybe you guys should’ve made a sprite for that instead of telling me!
Nagito: "Well, I suppose that’s Byakuya for you…"
How do you know? You met him before, right? Too much work to mention that beforehand, I suppose…
Larry: "What do you mean?"
You can see he’s being snobby. NEXT.
Nagito (whom I’m mixing up with Larry too often now): "That guy is particularly special, even by (Ultimate) SHSL standards…"
By being a rich kid? Talented my ass.
Nagito: "He’s next in line to inherit his family’s massive financial conglomerate."
II’m waiting for the part where you explain how this is a talent.
Nagito: "He’s already begun managing the business operations, and his net worth is, well, enormous."
What business operations? What’s his net worth? By Larry’s measure of enormous, Noragami’s filled coin bottle would be a fuckton of money when it’s like… 5 euros!
Nagito: "It’s completely accurate to call him the (Ultimate) SHSL Affluent Progeny. He’s the epitome of ‘exceptional.’"
…Because he has exceptional money? NEXT.
Larry: (That’s like… a manga origin story…)
What manga do you read? Most origin stories I know of are about random Japanese guys with average stats across the board getting OP abilities handed to them because the writer needed their dopamine kick while crouching over their business desk and working overtime for the fifth time that week. You're one of these characters.
Byakuya: "You there, Hajime, was it…?"
Oh please, dignify us more with your useless reactions! NEXT.
Byakuya: "Tell me…why did Hope’s Peak Academy choose you?"
Hope’s Peak is a joke to his conglomerate. What’s the point of this except showing off Larry’s amnesia?
Byakuya: "What is your (ultimate) SHSL talent?"
Typo and CALLED IT AGAIN.
Larry: "Um… Th-The thing is…"
The thing is that you’re the same as him, just more pathetic and more wasteful!
Larry: "I honestly can’t remember."
Cut the ‘honestly’. Either way, NEXT.
Byakuya: "You don’t remember…?"
Waaa waaa waaa, plot exposition when the story never gives us an explanation why Larry lost his memory about what he is.
Nagito: "Apparently he lost his memory due to shock… He can’t really remember much."
…Or the reason makes him look pathetic, because imagine being so fragile that not going to your favourite school gets you dissociative amnesia! He can remember plenty. He remembered the hermit crab, he remembered being accepted by Hope’s Peak, he remembers his name, etc. just not his talent. Which is the only thing that keeps him from realising he’s delusional and needs to grow as a person. It's the (Ultimate) SHSL Protagonist Pacifier!
Byakuya: "Hmph, how foolish."
I just said that. You lost my respect for plot enabling too.
YOU’RE DONE. GET LOST. NEXT.
Byakuya: "…I do believe we have finished talking. How much longer do you intend to stand there?"
For as long as I decide to. You don’t tell me what to do. Either way, is this all introductions?
Byakuya: "Move along! That’s the only thing you skinny types are good at, it seems."
It has to do with personal integrity, not with how greasy my corpse would be after simmering in the oven for three hours.
Nagito: "Let’s just leave, Hajime…"
If you call him Hajime one more time I’m giving you a different name too. You’re telling him what to do again, by the way. Poor Larry wouldn’t survive without you! Give him some CPR next because he might forget how to breathe.
Larry: "Yeah, sure thing…"
Larry: (His build and that overwhelming aura of refinement just pushes people away…)
Larry: (Is this what it means to be the (Ultimate) SHSL Affluent Progeny…?)
It means that he won the lottery of life. NEXT.
For what? Showing off how fragile the foundation of this story is?
Is bonding class over now? I’d rather have an existential crisis over XY coordinates because they make sense eventually.
Larry: "Was that a school bell just now…?"
[Scene 13 - Prologue, Central Island & Beach. Mystery bait and fishing pole for sale! (01:02:29)]
Nagito: "Hajime. Look at that monitor over there."
It’s Larry…I’m calling you Monmen. Despite my biggest efforts to give you a more stupid name, my best idea was naming you after Japanese Cottonee. At least that won’t ruin the Pokemon for me and it has about as much density as your brain cells.
screen turns on, shows Usami in chair
Usami: "Congratulations everyone!"
This is the first time she congratulated others instead of herself.
Usami: "It appears that everyone has finished collecting the Hope Fragments!"
If we finished, the School trip would be over. You should say ‘the first Hope Fragments’.
Also, what’s with the random color on the words? Is it trying to inject meaning or distract from that there isn’t any?
Usami: "I’m… sniff …I’m so happy…"
You’re as touched as a parent about their toddler walking for the first time which is… weirdly touching until you remember what she did until now.
That video quality is shit. Is your Netflix buffering again because the build wasn’t approved for 4K material?
Usami: "Sooo…I’ve prepared a present for everyone that’ll make you all veeeeery happy!"
Spoiler: It won’t. It’s more narcissism.
Usami: "I apologize for the trouble, but please gather at the beach!"
You can teleport, Usami. If it troubled you so much you’d just give it to every single one in person. Is that too much work?
Usami: "Tee hee hee! May shining hope be with you all!"
…Is Hope the Force? Or Aura? Can Usami learn Aura sphere? No, scrub that out of my brain please. Where's my CIF bottle?
Monmen: "She said to meet at the beach…"
Much better. You’re named as ridiculously as you act for being Larry’s crutch.
Larry: "I-Is that going to be okay…? I’m starting to have a bad feeling about this."
Monmen: "Thinking won’t solve anything. We can do that after we go to the beach."
In this game, it doesn’t. Good catch, Monmen!
Larry: "Is that precaution really enough?"
…How much harder are they gonna red herring Usami? At this point the RGB color space is out of bounds.
Larry: (To be honest, I’m really worried…but it would look bad if I was the only one who didn’t go.)
They’re trying to frame it as a virtue when Larry just wants to look good despite being a deadweight. I’d have been very interested if he’d gone without Monmen by his side. Go Monmen! Therapise Larry!
Byakuya: "You guys are the last to arrive. What are you dilly-dallying for?"
Larry needed a therapy moment with his emotional support plush. Can I ask you back why you hurried for the beach? Based on everything we know from her so far, why’d you trust her to give you something worth your time?
Everyone’s like likes lining up for Kinder Eggs from the guy in the white van beside the school entrance.
Monmen: "Sorry to keep you all waiting."
You’re apologizing on Larry’s behalf again…
Byakuya: "Well, it’s all right…"
Why are you torching us for being late? Why isn’t Mahiru, our queen of nag, doing it?
Byakuya: "More importantly, this is our only chance to talk between ourselves before that rabbit returns."
She can watch you over the cameras, you muppet. Of course, acknowledging that would be too weird when Hiyoko exists!
Hiyoko: "Kyahaha! Let’s talk!"
Speak of the devil. Talk about what? The weather? No one seems to sweat because of the heat and you'd be boiling in your three layers of silk, rookie mistake to wear fucking hitoe with a nagajuban on a tropical island, where's your usumono?
Byakuya: "Now then, let me hear your initial impresions of this island."
Why? Wasn’t this supposed to be a chill school trip? Man, plot paranoia ruins everything.
Peko: "I happened to notice numerous blocked off bridges on the central island…"
Oh, it’s for more redundancy. NEXT.
Ibuki: "Oh, those are there so everybody doesn’t get lost!"
Then Usami should’ve said that FROM THE BEGINNING. You’re all still NPCs.
Ibuki: "I tried to cross one of them and that rabbit showed up and told me, so I’m telling the truth!"
It’s only the truth if the rabbit tells the truth, but Usami’s too dumb to lie. This is tell-don’t-show again and trying to retroactively explain the gates to drip-feed the islands later.
Peko: "So we don’t get lost…? Is this island really so big?"
Why do you have ellipses Peko? You’re supposed to be the cool type that knows what they’re saying. Besides, the correct term would be ‘archipelago’. You saw the island you’re on already.
Kazuichi: "But if you look at it in depth, it’s just a normal island, right? It’s got a resort and everything!"
"Normal" implies you thought it wasn’t normal. More paranoia…
Kazuichi: "Well, not that I’ve ever been to a resort before, but…"
If you had been, you’d have realised this resort has as barebones of accomodation and entertainment as an average Kroatian motel.
Hiyoko: "Also, there’s a biiiiig ranch!"
Mikan: "Um… there’s also a large supermarket, too… It looks like it stocks everything from food to living amenities."
I didn’t see the living amenities last time I visited. Where’s your inferiority complex? NEXT.
Mahiru: "The hotel was really nice, too. It’d be great if we can stay there."
Again, the hotel is a glorified restaurant. NEXT.
Sonia: "The restaurant inside the hotel was also very nice. It seemed to cater to a more plebeian taste."
That’s a euphemism for ‘it’s touristy and low quality’. NEXT.
Teruteru: "Can you guys listen to what I wanna say, too?"
Oh no, not again… Can this guy just get bitten by a venomous snake and die instantly? JUST SAY IT.
Teruteru: "I… found something very important on this island."
Whatever you say is as important as the two-week-old lint in Larry's bellybutton.
Teruteru: "Girls! Very, very cute girls! Aha! All over the place!"
Ibuki: "Grooooooss! I’m getting goosebumps!"
Now tie him to a rock and toss him into the ocean.
Byakuya: "All of you are fools… I can’t believe nobody has mentioned the most serious truth."
The most serious truth is highlighed in a desperate attempt for mystery. If we didn’t realise it it probably was a) unimportant or b) serves to advance the plot in an artificial way.
Chiaki: "…The most serious truth?"
Byakuya: "If no one here realised it, you’re all bigger fools than I thought."
Are you a stand-in for the creators of this game? You’re condescending and dragging out the playtime.
Fuyuhiko: "What did you say, you fat bastard? Don’t be talkin’ all big and shit!"
Byakuya: "Small dogs shouldn’t bark so loud."
Larry: (The most serious truth?)
Larry: (What does he mean?)
What he means is to think about something pointless so you engage in this game with your brain and get hooked. It even zooms out so you can select everyone else and experience even worse padding!
Larry: "Hey, what’s the most serious truth?"
Larry: "Did… did you find out something about this island?"
Is that why Kazuichi flagged it as ‘normal’? Man, this is tiring.
Byakuya: "Have you all gone to the park that’s across the bridge?"
Larry: "The park with that weird bronze statue of all those creepy animals, right?"
The game only wants to be specific about the statue to pull mystery beats out of its ass. NEXT.
Byakuya: "When I saw it, I remembered a story I’d heard before."
Byakuya: "There’s an island in the Pacific Ocean, a beautiful island paradise where summer never ends…"
Monmen was on the Galapagos islands. He should know. But then there SHOULDN’T BE FRANGIPANI NOR HIBISCI X ROSA SINENSIS HERE. Why would that be a story?? People clearly used to live here and the technology is modern??
Byakuya: "It consists of a central island surrounded by five different islands…"
Byakuya: "It’s also said that five holy animals symbolize each of those surrounding islands."
I’m betting my tea-scorched butt this was added retroactively for the Monobeasts. The statue has no other function.
Byakuya: "That island’s name is…"
I don’t care. It doesn’t matter except for plot.
Byakuya: "Jabberwock Island."
This game should gift me a Mega pack of Yubari melons and a life's supply of mochiko for how much patience I have with it.
Monmen: "Could this island be…?"
Larry: "Jabberwock Island?"
Kodaka likes to pull elements from nowhere, this time it was Alice in Wonderland! At least mine have narrative function! NEXT.
Larry: "Is that… the name of this island?"
Byakuya: "Still, there is something on my mind."
Byakuya: "In fact, according to what I’ve heard, Jabberwock Island is already…"
Oh, I thought it was just a story? Why’s it got real stakes now?
Translation: ‘You wish I’d respect your time. I’ll pull it up when it’s narratively convenient.’
Nekomaru: "Hold it right there! That’s a rather incomplete story you’ve told us."
Once again, Nekomaru is more logical than Byakuya. Imagine failing your job so hard the supposed meathead is more competent than the rest of the grey brain matter around him four times in a big scene. First three in the classroom, him dismantling Byakuya's worries about the perpetrator, figuring out why they couldn't leave, testing the door, and NOW saying Byakuya is bullshitting.
Byakuya: "No need to shout. I’ll let you know once I obtain more information."
This is the biggest ‘I’m gonna die first’ red flag to flag the flags and is an excellent showoff of the whole game - hold back pointless 'information', reinstate when convenient and to keep players in the loop, or abandon because it wasn’t interesting anymore. Like, y’know. THE FLOATING DOOR AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS GAME.
Akane: "Meh, I don’t care what this island’s called. Nikoniko Island or Papua Island or whatever…"
Why is it always the ‘dumb’ characters that echo what I’m saying? Is it because no one takes them seriously enough to include them on the tourist train?
Akane: "Doesn’t change the fact that we all gotta live here, right?"
…Exactly what I’m saying.
Oh, I didn’t realise the music changed. I was too busy walling off from getting manipulated to hear it.
It was ‘Despair Syndrome (2)’ an eerie, tense track and now it’s right back to ‘Beautiful Ruin -Summer Salt-‘.
Ibuki: "Living together on this tropical island sure is exciiiiting! I’m super looking forward to it!"
…Judging by what? What exciting things did you do so far?
Kazuichi: "Right on! This ain’t a bad school at all!"
Do you mean the school or the school trip? If it’s the first, it’s an Elite school everyone knows?! If the second, no one cares because you change your mind every two seconds.
By the way, where the fuck is Usami? Is she having a tea party while Byakuya was busy being emotionally constipated?
Larry: "H-Hey? You guys?"
MONMEN! LARRY WANTS TO RUIN THE MOOD AGAIN!
Hiyoko: "Hmm, I like this island too!"
You will not specify why.
Hiyoko: "…Can’t say the same about the rest of you cretins."
Cool, who likes getting stepped on here? Monmen, what about you? You need a moment of self-hatred to get you back in shape?
Teruteru: "Huh? Did I hear something?"
Yes you did, and your ego is so big that I understand why they only managed to shove pity for you in retroactively. You’re just that shit of a character, concept, person.
Mahiru: "I’m still worried, but I don’t feel as worried as I did earlier…"
Where were you when you were supposed to call out Byakuya’s bullshit? I thought you were the grounded one??
Mahiru: "Yeah, since there’s no danger or inconvenience, I feel like this won’t be a problem!"
…The eternity of plot angst, blocked bridges, being far from home and having a dumb teacher would have a word with you. This sounds like the writers reassuring themselves and the players that everything’s fine!
Larry: "Hey, listen to what you guys are saying. We need to stay calm and think about this…!"
Think about what? Being miserable like you? See, you need Monmen to stay functional and even then you smear it everywhere you go. That’s what a terrible person does. Even if you're consistent, you're still like a toddler who wouldn't have the rainbow lollipop they saw at a market stall, threw a tantrum and now everyone else needs to tolerate their screaming.
Day 10 END (1:07:34). It’s getting late so I should stop for today. This was a blast for me because I got an energy surge and the padding is so blatant and manipulative that my ‘thick skull stoicism mode’ activated where I get extra suspicious of bullshit. Seems to have worked out.
This game has near zero substance and it’s easier to pinpoint knowing industry patterns like gacha of which this game has a lot of mechanisms.
It has flair over substance (Komatsuzaki art style, retro, flashy colours), rewards for wasting your time (level ups, tamagotchi, ability slots, Hope Fragments, Monomono Yashine) to make it look like you’re doing something cuz your dopamine centres keep firing, the minimum viable scaffolding (Usami = Monokuma, Nagito = Makoto, the floating door, winks at THH, pre-order story bait) cranked up so hard the shine overpowers your thinking… and tell don’t show, a.k.a being condescending and gaslighting in writing form. It's like a narcissist.
Even the new Dangan Ronpa 2x2 announcement had it aplenty! They re-recorded ALL FUCKING VOICE LINES because they don't respect the time of their voice actors, our money or anyone's integrity, just flash and potential buyers. Maybe Spikey should've put more effort into writing a proper story than fuck with our brains that a bad story is good!
The only thing that's missing is the part where I can pay to finish the game faster! Where are the lootboxes? Why isn't this free-to-play?! Oh, I just realised they made a Gacha game later, Summer Camp… Sorry guys SDR2 is the original!
I got to Master rank in Pokemon Unite without spending money because I understand that baiting your players with quick rolls via free items you get daily or via events makes them want to return to that baseline of euphoria, so they start spending. I didn't out of sheer spite and because I had lots of free time.
Well, let’s see how it’s going next time. Bye!
