#linesinfinity

[nikithathampy]

Time heals everything, or so they say. But every wound is meant to leave behind a scar. And every scar that remains, reminds me that you have left. Every wound that doesn't bleed, that doesn't leave, promises me that you still think of me. And every scar that slowly fades, remains for me, another one of our stories to tell.

You can fight, shout ,bellow, and stay silent for days. I might ask you to leave, hurdle with you to escape, be cold and show no care at all. But everywhere I go, you'll be a part of me. Every journey I undertake, you'll be an accomplice to me. I bear you in my heart, now and always. And if you ever fail to see, feel helpless and lost, you'll find yourself within me.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

I'm so distracted at times. Like I don't know what's going on around or within me. I might seem as calm as the sky , but there are several clouds that shrouds the warmth and light within me.

Then I'm incredibly cold because I'm hurt. And even when the days of incessant coldness pass, the indifference still remains. And even though I know it , I feel helpless like I can't pull myself out of it or I've got lost in a forest of chilling distant thoughts.

Then comes the downpour. Tear after tear falls into the churning ocean within. I cry. Without reasons. Repeatedly. In daylight. And during nights. And I wonder if something is hurting me. But my thought drowns among the million abandoned ones that have never had neither a reason nor an answer.

And finally I feel incredibly alone. Like the whole world has nothing to do with me.

But I still find solace in you. Knowing you and not knowing you.

My dear stranger.

[nikithathampy]

Alone and happy

Or Together in pain.

What do you prefer?

- May be alone and in pain.

Apart and desperate

Or Together and content?

- May be apart and content.

Together and happy with me

Or Apart with you sad?

- Always with fond memories of you.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

It's painful when there is no pain and still you can't get hurt any worse. Happy shadows of the past come parading at night drenching you in sweat and an indescribable heart wrench. Everything within you seem so still, so peaceful , so void. And nothing, nothing makes you feel alive.

You feel irritable. Everything frustrates you. Even when you smile to everything, your inside twist and turn in a blood curdling cry. You feel the urge to smack someone and not feel sorry. You feel the urge to shed tears but it just doesn't happen. You just want to divert your thoughts from these ridiculous tendencies. Be more patient. More concerned. More loving ,if possible.

How do we determine if we are happy or sad? Does the people you love count? What about the ones who leave? Has peace got something to do with it? Work ,perhaps? Evening walks? Solitary strolls? Someone's company? Or unknown gatherings? Does poetry help? Sketches, may be? Food? Sleep, then?

Nothing.

We've always been this void. No matter how beautifully someone else cast colours to the canvas that's you, that's never you.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

With you life seems so beautiful, that in their color all the other seems to pale. You have added the tinge of color to my painting of life to shape out the finest portrait of me. In your wilderness I feel safe like nowhere else. Life throbs within, when the warmth of your gaze sends chill down my spine.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

If you were meant to pass , then I don't know who would really stay.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

You make this world a hell for me. And still I choose this over any paradise to live in. And you still don't understand,why??!!!

~nt

[nikithathampy]

When I met you first , you were that unshakable mountain, beautiful but dark and deadly. I had to handle all the gales and troubles you brought for me, but I kept climbing up. You let me roll down like a rag ball and get hurt and showed me how tough you can get and tried to scare me off to run into the warmth of a much smoother and safer place. But I never gave up on you because I wished to thrive the cold . Nobody I had known ever felt so fascinating and challenging as you. I felt safe even in your wilderness. I knew , in all this build up you wear to scare others off, there is a warmer you. And I was right. I now know the peak of your love, and I know I can hold onto you forever. The warmth streaming through you washed away all the pain I had to endure in reaching you. You make me feel strong , secure and I know I've the rock of my life with the most beautiful heart, with me throbbing in it.*smiles*

~nt