#lifenthoughts

[nikithathampy]

When I'm broke, I'm just broke. Tears don't come easily anymore. And though I'm in pain, it doesn't show. I smile but it's lost in some memory. Even breathing feels like it's not happening on its own. Words fail me. Even when I talk, it feels as if it's not me. Anything I do, doesn't seem to distract me. Life goes on as the usual, I do the usual. But it all feels detached from me. In fact, I cease to feel

.

.

.

And that hurts. And because I can't feel, I can't feel the pain of losing you. You going away from me should feel like my soul being ripped apart. But I don't feel it. You going away should seem like the world being expelled from my breath. But I can't see it. Losing you should feel like my words losing its insight. But it doesn't mean a thing to me. You moving away should feel like that pain which it's meant to give. But it just isn't there. I can't get over you though I already have. And though I haven't ceased missing you, I simply can't feel that too.

Losing you should feel like unbecoming me and I've turned blind to that too.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

Heart's delight never fades when I look at you,

When I think of you, there's still that silly smile on my face.

It's only when you leave, the reality hits my face double hard.

But I'm still content of that brief period,

When words from within me had the depth of your meaning in my life.

And though my heart falls asleep a little sometimes,

I still wake it to days without you.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

Time heals everything, or so they say. But every wound is meant to leave behind a scar. And every scar that remains, reminds me that you have left. Every wound that doesn't bleed, that doesn't leave, promises me that you still think of me. And every scar that slowly fades, remains for me, another one of our stories to tell.

You can fight, shout ,bellow, and stay silent for days. I might ask you to leave, hurdle with you to escape, be cold and show no care at all. But everywhere I go, you'll be a part of me. Every journey I undertake, you'll be an accomplice to me. I bear you in my heart, now and always. And if you ever fail to see, feel helpless and lost, you'll find yourself within me.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

I'm so distracted at times. Like I don't know what's going on around or within me. I might seem as calm as the sky , but there are several clouds that shrouds the warmth and light within me.

Then I'm incredibly cold because I'm hurt. And even when the days of incessant coldness pass, the indifference still remains. And even though I know it , I feel helpless like I can't pull myself out of it or I've got lost in a forest of chilling distant thoughts.

Then comes the downpour. Tear after tear falls into the churning ocean within. I cry. Without reasons. Repeatedly. In daylight. And during nights. And I wonder if something is hurting me. But my thought drowns among the million abandoned ones that have never had neither a reason nor an answer.

And finally I feel incredibly alone. Like the whole world has nothing to do with me.

But I still find solace in you. Knowing you and not knowing you.

My dear stranger.

[nikithathampy]

Alone and happy

Or Together in pain.

What do you prefer?

- May be alone and in pain.

Apart and desperate

Or Together and content?

- May be apart and content.

Together and happy with me

Or Apart with you sad?

- Always with fond memories of you.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

With you life seems so beautiful, that in their color all the other seems to pale. You have added the tinge of color to my painting of life to shape out the finest portrait of me. In your wilderness I feel safe like nowhere else. Life throbs within, when the warmth of your gaze sends chill down my spine.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

If you were meant to pass , then I don't know who would really stay.

~nt

[nikithathampy]

You make this world a hell for me. And still I choose this over any paradise to live in. And you still don't understand,why??!!!

~nt