Mm... I’ve been thinking about that on and off for some time now, but I don’t really know. The few times I was on the verge of mentioning the possibility of me having mental health issues to my dad, he said something that made me wary of how he’d react or how seriously he’d take it. Like, I think about a year or so after mom died, he asked me if I wanted to see a therapist, to which I said no because things weren’t that bad back then, as far as I can remember. BUT also, during one of our almost daily video calls, I was really stressed and frustrated with myself and basically had a breakdown while talking to him, and it was.... uncomfortable. My inability to trust him enough in order to talk to him about that kind of stuff paired with the pep talk he was trying to give me ended up becoming a really shitty cocktail that just ended up feeling like shit.
So yeah, ideally I’d manage to get myself a job or some form of stable income, so I can pay for my own therapy expenses and not feel guilty about it.
Buuuut at the same time I might need therapy to deal with the stuff that’s making it difficult for me to get a job and stuff so like
I dunno
maybe I’m just making this a lot more complicated than it is or needs to be
