Episode three... Can someone PLEASE SLAP UBBE’S FACE? PLEASE???
Right...
...across...
...the face!
To put those runes in his face back into its place and kinda wake his brain up! What the fuck!!!
Here is my everyday rant about the episode and this one is FULL OF WRATH!
SPOILERS AHEAD! YOU WERE WARNED!!!
Ok, Jack the Ripper, let us put it here in parts...
Ivar and Igor
Delightful relationship, but I think Ivar is building something that he won't be able to control for too long. Igor seems to have his own mind and Ivar is feeding it. I think he'll get what he wants about getting rid of Oleg but I also think he'll end up building the monster that somehow will show him that gods can bleed...
Ubbe x Hvitserk
I hope Hvitserk gets clean, joins Ivar and KICKS UBBE'S BUTT! Ubbe is being a jerk just like he was about Margrethe! He's a jerk to anything he can't control and guess what?
HE CAN'T CONTROL ANYTHING!
So, he's being a jerk 100% of the time! I'm learning to hate him for good and if this continues I'll really have a problem writing for him...
He was always a controller but it seems this season brought the worst of him out and I hope to see Ubbe being slapped by Hali's death to notice that not everything is what he thinks it should be and starts treating at least Torvi a little better. Poor woman...
I used to love this bromance... I cried when it broke but now? I think it was never a bromance! It was only Ubbe showing he was satisfied to have a puppy and now that the puppy grew up into an old dog, Ubbe is just doing what all the bastard owners do and abandoning his dog in the rain just because the old buddy cannot do what he wants anymore.
I hope someone adopts this dog and gives him a good home so Ubbe can see it coming back to FUCKING BITE HIS ASS!
Hvitserk
He needs help. Desperately.
He won't be able to go out of this endless well he put himself into without help and it saddens me to see he'll kill the only one who'll really try to help him - Amma will go forward and I believe he'll end up killing her and noticing this is what will make him stop.
Let us see... I just wanna see my puppy back or someone to do what his asshole of a brother doesn’t wanna do for him...
Hali
The child died for not being well raised. Period!
Lagertha gave him too much of "your father is Bjorn Ironside" and the boy got fed up with the "I have to be great and prove myself" too soon.
He didn't "died for all of us" as she said! Hali died out of stupidity trying to make her proud and show himself "a Viking". And out of his father's stupidity of leaving Whitehair alive.
I hope Whitehair dies a terrible death and I really hope Torvi can pass through this horrible situation but more than everything I hope this can be a beautiful slap on Ubbe's face to listen to people around him and give the damn attention Torvi needs. She was scared for her children and the selfish controller bastard is only thinking about himself. I hope Hali's death serves for her to slap his face with some reality and bring him back from this outburst of arrogance.
Lagertha
How in the nine realms did Björn survive until adult life?
Fuck me! Lagertha is TERRIBLE when it comes to teaching children!
My whole spine got shivered when I heard the little Asa saying "I don't want to leave my brother" after what Lagertha said!
Stay to defend the dead?
For the gods' sake woman! You had a single work and it was to protect your damn grandchildren and what you did? Got one of them killed and are walking to kill the other!
For all the gods and Odin's beard, FUCKING SEND SOMEONE TO KATTEGAT FOR HELP!
It was needed Gunnhild to have a dream cause the gods must be like "Fuck... Send the queen there cause this old fucking hag won't ask for help by herself!"
She’s leading all those people towards a certain death just because she cannot admit she’s not their savior! She’s no one’s savior!
She cannot even save herself.
Gunnhild (gif to remember the good moments haha)
On the other hand, this one is my girl!
I just LOVED how she didn't give a single fuck for Ubbe's "you're with Bjorn's child" and went there to check by herself what she wanted! The fuck I'm with child, boy, I'll do what I want! My body, my rules! SHE'S MY QUEEN!
I just hope Hirst doesn’t end up spoiling everything about her like he did to poor Torvi today...
Torvi
I wanna hug her so hard...
She was so strong, but now, Ubbe is using her pregnancy and her mother’s instincts against her and it was so cruel!
The bastard is doing nothing but “paying back” the words she said with so much love, charging her to stay because she’s “his wife” when she was fully right on getting worried about her children.
I really want to see this poor woman passing through this situation with her son’s death and coming out of this stronger than before at least to put Ubbe in his place and show him he doesn’t fucking owns nobody!
She may be with his child, but her life is hers and he knew pretty well she was already a mother when he came into her life! I hope she can force him to separate things and understand she may be his wife, but she’s Asa’s mother first and it must be respected!
Bjorn's scenes
Purely putting more meat into the sausage. Nothing really important except for Kjetil playing the old-mad-murderer here...
I'll keep an eye on him just in case.
Olaf
What the fuck is wrong with this pig?
Someone can please stop putting musshies in his mead? Thanks!
Harald
Poor man... Jez. He's seeing once again Björn having EVERYTHING he always wanted...
Someone put him out of his misery, please...
Ubbe
Yes, he deserves a WHOLE INDIVIDUAL RANT!
I want SO BAD to slap his face and give him the education his mother seems to have forgotten!
What the fuck!?
Fucking his brother, giving no damn to his wife's needs, ignoring his sister in law's worries and advice, debauching on it with that expressions after fucking putting himself into a conversation that WASN'T HIS!
What the gods damn hell is wrong with Ubbe?
Someone could please take Hvitserk's musshies and put it IN Ubbe's mead, please? I think he's better drunk and mouth shut!
The crown seems to have taken his head and he's petulant and arrogant like a horse!
I hope someone to slap him and put some reins in this stallion cause things are going really out of control here!
