Oh fuck. Here I am again. Always finding myself in these same situations. Dragging my feet through the mud again. Entirely plausible but impossible to wriggle my way out of. Its not discomfort this time, thankfully. More so agitation, desperation. Picking at the lock like jesus. Im at the confessional again, the priest breathing too heavy like a dog. I fucking did it again - we both know it. Id lost so much blood I was seeing God on the walls of the bathroom stall. Theres no country left for old men and here i am getting old before my time. My whole stomach is just a stone, squeezing out blood like fucking Heidi back in Deutschland. Take me home, Himmler. Black carriage and hat like im fighting for my rights. JFKs funeral playing through my head while I wait for the bus. Ive done it again, he did it again. Vinnie really got me good this time. Split my lip open like the sky in May. Split me open like a briefcase. Present me to the Court, Attourney Ratt(k)ing. State your case. Defend yourself. Plead to the judge and jurer as equals while I bleed out in the stands. Holding a marbled red white crumpled torn tissue (leviticus) to my nose outside the heavy wooden doors of you. This is not a bad place. Not necessarily. I have blue backlight to my left watching me walk like some kind of 1984 big brother angel in a thai boxing club. You were always watching through the backlight - where I couldnt see you. Capatalise me, facisize me, socialize your earnings to your own state. Count your money, Vinnie, with your boot in my face. I dare you. The trial continues tomorrow - a verdict expected. How did I get here again? I dont know. But Id end up here anyway, eventually. Im still washing the blood from the sink. This time I dont see you in the mirror. Either of us actually. Where have you taken us Vinnie? The Old Man is calling us to the stand.










