#lituk

[kpopselo]

Li-tuk: Hi-čule, kada ćeš prestati da se ponašaš kao da ti je 9, a ne 26 godina?

Hi-čul: Čim se crtani završi.

[enonem]

LITUK mock test question:

Which British painter is considered to be the artist who raised the profile of landscape painting?

A. Joseph Turner

B. John Constable

C; D (some other guys who were not landscape painters)

Ok now I'm pissed. Yeah yeah you need to know the book verbatim but... seriously??

For those of you who are not art history nerds, Turner and Constable were contemporary landscape painters, both very famous and celebrated.

So basically in order to be a UK citizen, you need to agree with this random fuck from the Home Office in matters of art appreciation.

[enonem]

This man knows that catholics and protestants are both christians, yes? they are not different religions...

He keeps making lists of people of different religions like:

catholics

protestants

muslims

sikhs

hindus

uh.... not really an equal division there pet...

[enonem]

*screaming*

Yeah, yeah, not as a result of years of protests, of course not.

Cunt.

[enonem]

It's patronising imperialist book o'clock!

Now the fucker is talking about ways to be involved in one's community and says "some volunteer activities will give you a chance to practice your English"

Remember, this book is part of the citizenship application process, which includes a language proficiency test (or alternative proof). In order to qualify for citizenship, one must have lived in the UK for at least 5 years.

[enonem]

Loving the proofreading on this thing. It really makes me feel so valued that they would put so much effort in helping me through the process, making sure that they offer me all of the information I need in a clear, concise and above all fully checked manner.

[enonem]

This book that is supposedly edited and updated every year clearly never spends more than an afternoon in that updating process.

My brother in Christ. The UK had been out of the EU for three years when this edition was published. So why, why, are you including EU matters in the government structure chapter? Why are you asking that EU countries are memorised, alongside the Commonwealth?

Was it too much trouble to delete those few paragraphs? Or do you take perverse delight in knowing that the foreigners are going to have to cram even more irrelevant fucking knowledge in their foreign heads before you deign to accept their allegiance to the king?

[enonem]

Honestly the whole general culture knowledge section of this book has me seeing fucking red. I cannot even muster snark unless I made a whole video where I read the chapter and take it apart.

You're demanded to know more about films and music from the 1960s than from today. I guess under 50s need not apply to citizenship.

It's also apparently just as important that you know the names of three Pre-Raphaelite painters as the fact that many people in the UK have pets because they enjoy their company. Yes, those fact are definitely just as important and just as obscure.

I fucking hate this book.