When your dad dies because he killed himself, you feel abandoned and angry. So stupidly mad and he doesn't have the decency to be there for you to be mad at. Robin Williams kills himself, and everyone mourns, and everyone begins talking about mental health and empathizing. But I don't feel that way about my dad at all, because he left me and he can't come back. I can't empathize and so I am left with sadness and anger and abandonment and shitty guilt for feeling anything at all.
And I don't really know how to talk about it to anyone. So I'm just going to leave this here, because that's what I'm going through this week. I'm just going to take up a little space on the internet to just leave this here.