headcanon + love. @liveswell
floyd has a difficult relationship with love. growing up only knowing the love of his mother, and then to have that taken away so suddenly -- never truly knowing what happened. it leaves a certain void inside you. this is a void that is present in floyd even now. he does not allow himself to love, believing it to be the most dangerous emotion for a spy to succumb to. if you love someone, it means that they could be used as leverage against you. they could become a bargaining chip to force you into doing unspeakable things. he had seen it so many times within his career.
but of course, he is only human. and love is an emotion that will not be denied. so, when floyd loves, it is a slow fall. he will constantly try to deny himself it, believing he does not want nor deserve to feel it.
he is a hard person to love too. he is cautious and withdrawn, going years without truly connecting to another. some days he can be the most romantic man you have ever met, showering the source of his affection with sweet words and gentle touches. and the next day he could be distant and subdued.
but when he allows himself to love, he loves hard. because it is unlikely that the love will last, and so he wants to relish in it as much as possible.
here is a small section of a previous headcanon that is relevant to this one:
love also manifests in his hands. he’ll reach for their hand, he’ll squeeze their fingers to make sure they know he is there for them. hands are important to him. they hold strength and power. and so he will take their hand and kiss each knuckle, he’ll press kisses to their palm, wrist. if he truly cares for someone, they will see it both in his hands and in how he constantly needs to touch theirs.