#livinginnc

[amysossamonrealtor-blog]

Do you live in one of the most expensive cities in NC? #realtoramysossamon #regalcrestluxuryhomes #nccities #livinginnc #movingtonc #househunting #luxuryhomes https://www.instagram.com/p/BwZ1jPYHYtC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1xr9v64ftvc8g

[quixotickate]

Life, lately. 29.

Another year has passed. I am 29. One last year before I complete another decade. My third one. About to enter a decade that really communicates "Adult". My first 9th year of my first decade I was in third grade. I was at Northdale Elementary (rest in peace, sweet little school) in Mrs.May class. We went to England for three weeks that year. I had bangs, and shoulder length hair. I was one of the shortest in the class. I had friends, but none that I really connected with. Megan was my best friend. My worries consisted of getting in trouble for not cleaning our toys, and whether or not I was included in the "clique" at school. 

19, the ninth year of my second decade, I was in a transitional weird time. Looking back, it was probably my most unbalanced year. I presume my thyroid problem started around then because I remember after I got highlights, chunks of hair fell out. I thought it was because of the highlights. I was very emotional/depressed. I was dating Colin, and planning my year away at Mt. Olive. I left my family, London Ontario, my best friends, and boyfriend to go to Mt. Olive. I didn't know anyone, and had a very hard time adjusting. Culture shock hit me hard, and missing home and the familiar. Academically and athletically, I had an amazing year. But the year was full of sadness, and low self worth. 

29, this year. I have Josh, my man for life. We have a toddler Jack, a house, cars, and plans for the future. We are saving for our next house and thinking about ways to improve our house. I am the most balanced I have ever been. I have discipline and am more focused that I have ever been. My faults and weaknesses are still very present, but much less so. I have worked hard at personal growth. I still have a long way to go. 

I want to:

1. Learn how to cope/deal with people with very different views that I personally find backwards/racist/ignorance/lacking any type of compassion

2. Not care what people think of me as much, and be more open about being agnostic. I still feel like people judge me because of this. It hurts me that people think because I am not a Christian, I lack morals. I wish I didn't care as much.

3. Be more willing/strong to take risks. I stay at my job because it's a consistent paycheck, I have benefits, vacation and sick time, and is somewhat fulfilling. I do feel like I can do more, though. There's something inside me that is not willing to just settle with the comfort, but I am too scared to take on anything different. 

4. Eat more vegetables and consume less sugar. I have made HUGE improvements with food but still a long way to go. 

5. Improve correspondence with friends. I suck at this. Life is so busy, and that really isn't a good excuse. I've always been bad at this. I need to write monthly letters maybe, and send them to my friends from home whom I used to be so close with, and share everything with. I miss that. It's something very hard to find. And as we all get older, the more differences we all have with one another (in general), so those sweet, innocent childhood friendships are like no other. 

6. Continue to work hard at my relationship with Josh. Just as individuals grow with work, relationships either grow or falter. You need to work together. We work best as a team, and communication is crucial. Not only communication, but how we communicate. We are both there to help each other grow. We have helped each other out a lot. And we do a pretty good job being parents to Jack (who by the way is not an easy toddler).  Josh can be a jerk sometimes, and I am occasionally not the nicest. But we have come leaps and bounds on how we problem solve and communicate. I can't wait for us to spend the next decade in our thirties and achieving many of our goals together. I love him so much. 

I think it's important to be honest with yourself, and create goals. 

I am very happy and very lucky to lead this life. We are very fortunate in many ways. I need to be more grateful. I often get consumed in my own life and forget there are millions of others who never have the opportunities I have. I don't think it's fair to thank a God for that. I am not more worthy than anyone. I don't think it's fair. I don't think much of life is fair, and what happens to one person is really luck of genetics, who their parents were, where they live, and their experiences. I don't think it's fair to think that God put you in your situation (which in my case is better than 90% of the world) because he wanted it that way. I am humble and sad that the world isn't more balanced. I think it's cruel, and unfair, and am quite angry about it.

I believe in investing in the treatment rather than preparing and focusing on the punishment. 

I believe in separation from Church and State.

I believe in Science, and knowledge. 

I believe in renewable energy

I believe in transparency

I believe that corporations should not dictate our laws

I believe in unions

I believe in creating a working wage that can let someone live without needing government assistance. 

I believe in finding the cause to poverty

I believe in investing in education

I believe that music, art, and physical education are very important to a child's education

I believe in real affordable health care- not what some private for profit insurance company states (HELLO FIRST PAYER, you there?!)

I don't believe in suing for every little thing

I am angry that the money taken out of my check each month funds weapons and wars, and organized murder

I am happy my tax money goes to people who can't afford rent, or food.

I believe in preventable health care which begins with food, and exercise. 

I believe in walking or biking to work (I miss those days)

I believe in mental health treatment, in a hospital but mostly in the community.

I believe in VERY strict gun laws. The stats in this country are just shocking, but more shocking is the lack of urgency and the apathy surrounding gun violence. 

I believe in questioning tradition. 

Needless to say, I think I live in the wrong country and definitely State. But I hope for progress. And I have a hard time with people stuck in the past, or unwilling to think for themselves. But they will always exist, and I shouldn't even stress about it. Just focus on myself and what I can do.

This is a long blog, but I have felt the need to get all these thoughts out. I have been neglecting on my writing. I love writing, and should do it more. I relate to this Radiohead song more than ever. At times, I feel like this because it is exhausting caring so much about the state of things, and the lack of progress, and the sadness and violence, and turning on the news to find there were 5 murders last night in surrounding counties. This sums up my blog, very well. Thanks if you read this whole rant. 

"A heart that's full up like a landfill  A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired and unhappy Bring down the government They don't, they don't speak for us I'll take a quiet life A handshake of carbon monoxide No alarms and no surprises No alarms and no surprises No alarms and no surprises Silent, silent This is my final fit, my final bellyache with No alarms and no surprises"