I saw your tags on the ME post about working on some original stuff. Looking at your profile, it looks like you've already published two novels! Congratulations!
I was curious about your original writing. First of all, what is your series about (I assume it's a series)? How has your experience been so far, both with the writing and publishing? Do you have a long term vision for your series (or your writing plans just in general)?
Again, congrats! That's such an accomplishment!
Thank you so much!
Pieces of Eden, so far, includes Neon Utopia and the following Apple of Eden. It's a cyberpunk romance with a bit of adventure and, in the case of the second, mystery. I tried to focus a lot on worldbuilding and creating a chance for readers to envision a world that's beautiful on the surface, but goes much deeper into the dark side the closer and longer you look at it.
As for my experience? I saw there's good and bad. The best way to explain a lot of what I experienced is to compare it to fanfiction. Though it's not a perfect example, it's the best one I can relate to.
Unlike fanfiction, you don't get that instant gratification on posting a chapter. Even if you get no comments, you can still say 'hey, I wrote that and I'm happy with it.' With original stuff, you have to keep a bit of it under wraps because ultimately, you're trying to sell it. When I first tried to write original, I gave up because I didn't have something to, basically, cheer me on.
Then I found a friend through my FF writing, @wafflesrock16, who also wanted to use her experience in FF to get into original writing (i highly recommend her fantasy romance series, Rifts, btw). Waffles helps me tremendously because she's my Alpha reader. We bounce ideas and she reads my very rough, very first draft to give me tips. Then came finding a dedicated Beta (which I, unfortunately, didn't have for Neon Utopia - and it sadly shows) and sometimes even an Editor. Being a long fic, I didn't have the money for that so after a Beta's advice, I went through it a handful more times using different techniques to try and polish it up.
Publishing wise, I have to say I went the route of Self-Publishing. I do this for fun, not money, and yes, I did let it get to me last year, but I've realized that bad comments, just like FF, ultimately don't mean anything. People like it or they don't. Also, self-publishing helps me stay calm when I write because I don't have deadlines or have to write query letters to attract agents, then have to double check the agent and publishing company aren't frauds, etc. Plus, all the money comes back to me which, when I sell so few, comes in handy.
The hardest part of the whole process overall is MARKETING. Getting your name out there is hard work and doesn't always work out. I guess that's one good thing about traditional publishing but I still wouldn't trade it.
I, for sure, have one more PoE book in mind but I kinda like how it's more of an episodic series and not one continuous storyline. I don't know if readers will like it so we'll see about reception before I start on the third book.
Writing wise, I want to eventually start my fantasy series. Writing a Fantasy AU for Mass Effect really got me in the mood for it. So, when I finished Fibonacci, get PoE in a place I iike, and feel confident enough to try, I'll start the long process of worldbuilding. Everyone who knows me knows I'm an absolute sucker for worldbuilding so sometimes I get too deep. We'll see when we get there, though, right?
Sorry for being so long-winded! I guess I had quite a bit to say!
Thank you again. And thank you for asking such interesting questions. They really got me thinking about the future and what it holds. :)
Oooh. This is an odd one. Before Andromeda came out, I started doodling a “what if the AI approached Kaidan Alenko?” story. I didn’t finish it before the game dropped, and then never came back to it. I now have plans to cannibalize parts of it for my next fic, but here’s a (lengthy) snippet that isn’t one of those useful bits. Pardon the rough prose - I was really rusty at the time.
~
Kaidan should feel a twinge of guilt. Being overdue with a mission debrief, even for something as useless as the Hammerhead field tests, isn’t exactly characteristic. Something the Admiral had been sure to point out. But it is useless. The Hammerhead is a waste of time. It all feels like a waste of time, ever since-
Even thinking the word 'Alchera' makes his chest tighten in a way he’d rather it didn’t. Almost two years later and he still fights the urge to brush ash off his shoulder plates, to force himself to turn around and go back instead of get into that pod.
In the corner of his eye blooms the phantom glow of a drive core going up, and followed by the same cold punch in his gut that knocks the breath from his lungs as hard now as it did then. He wipes his mouth with one hand, raises the other to signal the waiter for a beer.
“Lieutenant Alenko?”
Kaidan jumps, looks up and sees the N7 logo emblazoned on a breastplate of black armor. His heart stops.
“Mind if I sit?”
It takes a moment for the blood to stop rushing through Kaidan's ears. It’s not Shepard. Of course it’s not Shepard; Shepard’s dead. This man is older, maybe by a couple of decades, face craggy and riven in a way that reminds Kaidan a little of Admiral Hackett. The only resemblance he has to the Savior of the Citadel is the grim set of his jaw, a soldier’s exoskeleton of starched posture and that keen sense of awareness that makes it clear he knows where every exit is and how to take as many down as he can on his way out.
Kaidan must have acknowledged the man, who looks maddeningly familiar now that he's processing things with a little more sanity, because he sits down across the table. Stiff. Formal. None of Shepard's languid movement. Shepard has an absurd way of just flowing into a space, even with that starched soldier's posture.
Had. You'd think he'd be used that by now.
The waiter brings the beer, turns to the N7 soldier to take his order, but gets waved off.
“I was hoping you could spare a few minutes of your time,” he says, voice like gravel. Kaidan wonders if a piercing stare is a prerequisite for the N program.
“Sir,” Kaidan says, because he’s still not entirely sure if he’s said anything yet.
Nothing shifts in the N7’s expression. It’s like looking at a boulder. Kaidan really wants to take a pull from the beer, but leaves it untouched.
“I’ve been keeping an eye on your career. Eden Prime. Virmire. Battle of the Citadel. I’ve been curious to see what you were capable of outside Shepard’s shadow.”
Kaidan flinches. He tells himself that the N7 didn’t see it, but it’s a lie. If he’s anything like Shepard, he not only saw it, but has already figured out how to use it as an advantage. The bastard.
He’s not sure if he’s referring to the N7 or to Shepard, decides not to try and figure it out.
“I was beginning to think I wouldn’t get a chance to see it before departure, but I just read the mission reports from Aite. Nasty job. But you got it done. I’m impressed.”
Something clicks in Kaidan’s brain. He sits up a little straighter, like someone just splashed cold water in his face. “You’re Alec Ryder,” he says, unable to keep a little bit of wonder from creeping into his voice.
Ryder nods, the movement crisp. Sharp. His shoulders tighten so subtly that a moment ago Kaidan would have missed it. But he’s paying attention now. He thinks about saluting, or Shaking Ryder’s hand. Both seem stupid. He settles for a respectful nod. “It’s an honor to meet you, sir.”
Kaidan thinks about asking him the same questions he probably gets asked by every single person who meets him. What was it like being on the first team through Charon? What’s Grissom like in person? How does it feel to be a hero? But his own experiences as of late push the questions aide. His answers to those kinds of questions feel disappointing; he can’t imagine Ryder’s are any different. You have a job and you do it. No matter what the cost. No matter who you lose. In the end you don’t feel like a hero so much as you just feel…tired.
Ryder’s gaze doesn’t falter, not for a moment, but something about it seems a little more at ease.
Ryder pushes a datapad across the table to him. It’s encrypted. High level encryption that even Tali might have had to pause for a few to crack it open. Kaidan picks it up. The display shows only a simple blue and white logo featuring a long, sleek ship and the words Andromeda Initiative. He glances back to Ryder, who is watching him carefully.
“I’m not familiar with the Andromeda Initiative."
“You’re not supposed to be,” Ryder replies. “It’s not an Alliance project. Civilian run. Do you know Jien Garsen?”
Kaidan racks his brain. “I’ve heard the name, but not much more than that.”
Ryder gives no sign whether this surprises or disappoints him or none of the above. “This datapad will give you the mission details. For your eyes only. Understood, soldier?”
Kaidan nods, more from reflex than intention. He's willing to bet Ryder doesn't hear ‘no’ from many people. Another thing he probably has in common with Shepard.
“What’s the mission?” Kaidan asks, shoving thoughts of Shepard abruptly from his mind. White noise. It’s just white noise.
“Andromeda.”
For a moment Kaidan thinks Ryder is just repeating the name of the initiative. But then it sinks home a little bit. His eyes widen. “Wait. You’re going to Andromeda?”
“Colonization effort," Ryder replies, expression still stoic. "It’s been in the works for ten years. The datapad will give you the details. But we need people. People like you. Tough. Skilled. Resourceful. And I won’t lie, the Alliance training will be a big help.”
“You’re taking humanity to Andromeda.”
“Not just humanity. Asari. Turians. Salarians. This project is huge, Alenko.”
Kaidan inhales. This time he does take a pull from his beer. Ryder offers him the encryption key to the datapad. Waits patiently until Kaidan uses it. Patience is something he and Shepard do not share.
Stop thinking about Shepard in the present tense.
Ryder doesn’t say a word as Kaidan flips through the contents of the datapad. The schematics. The mission statement. There’s Alliance hands in this, civilian project or no. The propaganda has a lot in common with the Alliance recruitment tactics that got him on his feet after BAaTT.
The beer is gone when Kaidan finally looks back up, a second one well on its way. “This is impressive,” he admits. “But I’m not sure why you came to me.”
“We need people like you.”
Kaidan laughs, but it sounds nervous. Flustered. “I’m flattered, but I have a job. I can’t walk away from the Alliance.”
“Can’t you?”
The question hangs like a noose. A sudden urge to flip the table and walk away grabs hold, and it’s only a deliberate sip of his beer that keeps him in his seat. “I’m an Alliance soldier,” he replies, voice quiet. Shepard would recognize it for the thin ice it was. Shepard isn't here.
“An Alliance soldier who knows about the Reaper threat but can’t do anything about it,” Ryder says. “An Alliance soldier who watched as his commanding officer’s legacy was manipulated into political propaganda while his crew was silenced. An Alliance soldier who wants to make a difference.”
But can’t. The unspoken words hover like a thick fog and refuse to dissipate. Kaidan looks back to the datapad. Anything to escape that goddamned stare.
“Talk to Garsen,” Ryder urges. “Listen to what she has to say. The Reapers are coming. You believe it. I believe it. If we can pull this off, we might still be able to save ourselves. But we need people like you to do it.”
Ryder’s chair scuffs against the floor plates, armor joints creaking as he gets to his feet. Kaidan doesn’t look up, and no farewell is offered. When he’s sure he’s alone, he puts his head in his hands, eyes squeezed shut, willing the crowds in the restaurant and the corridors of the Presidium to fade into white noise.
13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?
I’ve gotten a lot of great advice over the years, but something that has paid dividends upon dividends for me is concrete vs. abstract prose. My fic relies on intense emotional connections, and when people really respond to how I write them, I honestly think it’s because I focus on concrete language, not abstract.
If you were to write a paragraph about your character experiencing grief, the temptation is there to try and describe that emotion in terms of how it makes them feel, their unrelenting, all-consuming anguish. But feelings are abstract concepts – they aren’t tangible. You can’t see them or touch them. Therefore describing grief or sadness in the abstract doesn’t carry a lot of weight. But emotions are very much rooted in the physical. How does your body react when you experience grief? You can get a lump in your throat, your chest gets tight, you have trouble focusing, etc. And even beyond that, feelings are not just about how your body responds, but also how you then respond to the world around you. Maybe your character lashes out, maybe they shut down and internalize. Maybe they neglect responsibilities, forget things they usually remember. All of these things are concrete responses that say something powerful about what a character is feeling without actually naming the emotion you want to convey. You’ve telegraphed it in a meaningful way by rooting it in something physical.
(Can you tell I’ve been writing a lot about grief lately?)
14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
Write what you know.
On one level, that’s true! Writing with authority about something is important, and necessary to earn the trust of your reader. But only writing what you know is so limiting. If you don’t know about something you want to write about? Learn! You don’t need to be an expert to write about it convincingly! I’ve sure as shit never had magic space powers, but I’ve devoted an awful lot of time to thinking about biotics and exploring how it might work, ways it impacts every day life and how it sets characters apart, so when I write about it, I can do so with authority (even if that authority is completely made up, heh).
Explore what you don’t know! Ask people who do know for input. If we only write what we know, we never discover. We never give representation to those who need it. We never challenge ourselves.
So sure, write what you know. But write what you know because you were willing to learn something you didn’t!
17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
MOST of the time, I write chronologically from start to finish. BUT, in more recent times, I’ve given myself permission to skip around, sketch scenes out of order, and do whatever I need to do to keep being creative.
For your fanfiction writer Friday: What are your favorite parts of writing? Exposition, action, or dialogue? Planning, writing, or editing?
I’m a sucker for dialogue. But I also really love finding ways to connect character voice in dialogue to internalized monologue. It’s a big component of that “in your face” 3rd person POV that is just my absolute jam. Example, from this prompt
Jack raises an eyebrow and folds her arms across her chest. “Are you suggesting I’m not fucking patient?”
Instead of offended, Alenko has the nerve to seem amused. “Given how much success you’ve had with this latest group, I’m not suggesting you’re anything less than a hero. But you asked for help, and I’ve got a different perspective that might be what you need.”
You know, fuck him sometimes for being right and not sounding like a smug asshole about it.
The inner monologue could so easily be dialogue. You have no doubt whose head you’re in, and it’s a lot of fun.
As for the writing process, I live for revisions. Planning is fine. The initial act of creation is stressful and hard. But holy hell revisions are where I live and breathe. Taking an idea and getting it to stand on its feet, stitching the pieces together and problem solving challenges is magic. It’s why I love both giving and receiving concrit.
42 One romance you just can’t stand/doesn’t make sense/etc?
I’ll go with Jacob, because it was so weird in ME2, and the writers seemed to just...give up on Jacob as a whole in ME3. Jacob deserved so much better.
43. Non-romancable characters: who would you romance?
Huh. Does Garrus as dudeshep or Jack as femshep count? If not, probably Joker.
56. Who has the best character arc?
MOOOOOOOORDIN. Mordin Solus is my favorite character in all of fiction. I love him so fucking much. When his arc came to a close in ME3, I was holding my cat - named Mordin - in my lap, and I wept.
60. A character you think deserved better from the series?
UDINA. UDINA. UDINA. He was such a perfect foil for Shepard. Two people! Who wanted the same things! Just utterly disagreed on how to achieve them! There’s such amazing material to work with there! Respecting someone even though you hate their methods. Having to learn to cooperate and leverage each other’s strengths! Ugh. Instead he got gibbed with indoctrination and I’m still not over it.
7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?
Hm. I am most at home with an “in-your-face” 3rd person POV. I have worked really hard over the years to emphasize concrete detail over abstract concepts, because it makes emotional beats hit so much harder. My goal is to create moments where the feeling I want to convey is almost tangible – something you can reach out and touch. Based on the amazing feedback I’ve gotten on Sonata, I think the hard work has paid off.
8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?
I definitely enjoy reading the things that I write, so in that regard, yes? I’ll read virtually anything that’s good. Weirdly though, when it comes to not-fanfic, I almost never read romance of any kind. Sonata feels like such an outlier in that regard.
10. How would you describe your writing process?
I talked about this here, but I’ll look at it from another angle.
I tend to be a very disciplined writer, and do not like juggling a lot of projects. I get a vision in my head, and once I dig into it you need a bulldozer to knock me off of it. I have to be careful, because it can become all-consuming in ways that aren’t necessarily healthy.
When I wrote Exordium, I spent every single Saturday morning from 8-12 sitting in a Starbucks café doing new writing, because that’s where I concentrated best. At the very least I’d get a solid chunk of a new chapter written, then spend time over the rest of the weekend finishing it off and giving it enough polish to send off to my alpha, then make another round of revisions once I got feedback. I posted once a week and kept a 10 chapter buffer at all times, so during the week I’d go back to the chapter that was on deck to post, make more revisions and get it signed off on by my alpha. It was a lot of work, but I loved it.
For several years I didn’t have time for that kind of discipline, so I didn’t do a lot of writing. The pandemic has given me that flexibility again, so…I’ve been doing a shit ton of writing. It’s been a lot of fun.
12. Do you want your writing to be famous?
I used to. I had daydreams of being one of those authors everyone had heard of. But at this point in my life, I think I am content to write whatever I want in someone else’s sandbox and be eternally grateful if it happens to mean something to someone. I’ve made so many amazing connections that way, and fandom has changed my life so fundamentally that I feel I’ve made a home here I am very content with and proud of.
Technically, I was writing fanfic before I knew what fanfic was. I was one of the kids who had notebooks full of Star Trek fic (we’re talking terrible self-insert DS9/TNG crossover fic), and waaaay before that, I had an epic idea for combining two of my favorite things, horses and space, in which The Black Stallion and Alec Ramsey accidentally got stuck on a spaceship.
But back in the Geocities days, I remember stumbling on a fanfic for a Fandom That Shall Not Be Named, and thinking, ‘hey, I can do that.’ So I did. And next thing you know I had a Geocities site and was part of web rings and on Yahoo group chats with people I still know to this day.
When Mass Effect came along, I had completely disconnected with Internet fandom, because life had happened and I did other things. But the ending of 3 was so terrible, and so...unfulfilling, that I started looking for other outlets for all these FEELINGS. I started a ME1 novelization that at the time I hadn’t really intended to post (I didn’t know where the Kids Posted Things anymore). I just wanted to capture what Mass Effect was in a format that my non-gamer friends could experience, because they were missing one of the greatest sci-fi franchises of the past decade.
Then I found a rec for @sinvraal ‘s Iunctio on Reddit (read it read it), discovered Ao3, discovered Tumblr, and off I went.
2. Which of your own fanfics have you reread the most?
Plans. How cool is it that I wrote the mShenko fic I always want to read? It covers everything from Mars through them finally acknowledging how they feel for each other, and I fucking love it. There’s even a bit that reads like a prose poem. I was really mad at myself at the time, but now it’s one of my favorite scenes.
3. Describe the differences between your first fanfic and your most recent fanfic.
Given my first fanfic was technically that rad Black Stallion in space story and my current WIP is two space marines fake dating...it kinda doesn’t sound like much has changed. Ha. Conceptually.
I like to think I can write a better sentence now than when I was 8.
4. Do you think your style has changed over time? How so?
I’d like to think I’ve gotten a lot better at nuance and subtlety. I think the style I attempt is largely similar, especially if we’re sticking to my Mass Effect fic, which has been going for 7 years now. I tend to use a cinematic style that puts the reader right in the middle of things. I struggle to pull the camera back sometimes. I think I’ve made a lot of strides in using concrete language that evokes what I want you to feel, vs. telling you what you should be feeling.
I also use present tense a lot more than I used to?
For the fic ask on "Thoughts of a Shooting Star": 3, 4, and 11?
Sorry it took me a bit to get to this!
And thank you for asking about "Thoughts of a Shooting Star." It's one of my personal favorites.
Fan Fic Writer Asks
3: What’s your favorite line of narration?
I'm going to go with these lines, from the end of the memory sequence where Shepard is thinking on her shore leave with Kaidan:
Maybe it hadn’t really happened that way. Maybe it hadn’t happened at all. But the memory of that warmth, the feeling of the sand between her toes, that was as real as it got out here.
In my mind, the sequence is a blend of memory and fantasy for her as she's desperately clinging to whatever comfort she can while accepting her imminent demise. In the end, it doesn't matter whether it happened or not because it's making it easier for her to accept what's happening to her.
4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?
“A crime against good beer,” he laughed.
“Punishable by death in Canada, right?” She smiled mischievously at him, enjoying the way the corners of his eyes crinkled with his grin.
I like this bit because of how playful it is. My headcanon (which I know is far from unique) is that Kaidan's a bit of a beer snob. Shepard's giving him a friendly ribbing about it and he accepts it in stride.
11: What do you like best about this fic?
I like that it's bittersweet. Shepard can't change her fate and she doesn't manage to get her message off, but she spends her last moments immersed in happier thoughts and unable to regret them.
I also put a bit of thought into the mechanics of what happens as a small love letter to the codex entries that acknowledge how things like heat discharge in a vacuum work. I'm pretty proud of how that turned out.
