Rated PG, no warnings apply. Laurel ponders something that’s been bothering her while on a stakeout. Felicity’s willing to play along.
Because she was bored and she’d already reviewed the most recent minute orders from her current cases four times, Laurel switched on her comms. “You know,” she said, “there’s one thing I’ve never understood.”
“Yeah?” Felicity’s voice came on right away, but she sounded distracted.
“Why the stakeout?”
“What?”
“Why am I sitting on a roof when it’s stupidly cold in some random part of town, just watching? It’s not like crime statistically has a chance of occurring right here in this—” Laurel checked “—alleyway between a Subway and a dry cleaner’s. So why am I being parked here?”
“Take it up with Oliver,” Felicity said dryly. Maybe a bit smugly, too, because unlike Laurel she was seated in a well-heated basement with all of her computers around her. “He’s the one who swears by it.”
The less she had to talk to her ex, the better. Laurel settled back grumpily, her uniform creaking a little as she did so. She’d been assigned this sector and instructed to “find a roof or something, stay out of sight.” As far as she could discern, Oliver didn’t know anything more than she did about the crime rate in the area. This was just how Mr. Green Grumpypants decided vigilantism should go around here, apparently.
“I could be in a coffee shop,” Laurel said, swinging her tonfa around. “Somewhere warm, with great wifi.”
“In that outfit?”
“I’d wear street clothes over it, obviously.”
“What kind of street clothes would fit over the buckles?” Felicity asked. There must not have been anything happening with the others in their stupid stakeout spots because she sounded idly interested rather than distracted. Before Laurel could reply that loose clothing would be optimal, Felicity went on: “Just how long does it take you to get out of the suit, with all those buckles?”
Laurel smiled. “From anybody else, I’d suspect that was a line.”
“Oh my g—that wasn’t what I—I mean, I definitely wasn’t trying to—”
“Felicity, I’m teasing.”
“I’m setting your ringtone to ‘Mambo Number Five’ so you never it out of your head,” Felicity said, grumpiness radiating through every word.
“Ouch,” Laurel said. “Also, there’s a zipper.”
“What?”
“For me to get in and out of my suit easily. It zips up. The buckles are mainly an aesthetic choice.”
“Or you asserting a heretofore hidden dominatrix side,” Felicity said, still sounding grumpy.
Laurel had to laugh, and repeat exactly the same thing she’d told Thea: “Take it up with Cisco. Maybe he—hold on.”
“What is it?” All grumpiness vanished from Felicity’s tone.
“I heard something. Not sure.” Laurel crept to the edge of the roof and crouched there, peering down at the alleyway. She’d heard something that sounded distinctly like glass breaking from the direction of the dry cleaners.
A second later, the back door burst open. A man stumbled through, shoved forward by one of the two men in ski masks and dark clothes that followed. Laurel needed only to see the glint off the bright gold Desert Eagle in one of their hands before she clipped her line in and jumped.
Less than a minute later, out of breath and sporting at least one new bruise along her ribcage (lucky shot), Laurel helped the victim to his feet. She kicked the gun away. “You okay?” she asked.
He gave her a shaky nod.
“Good. The police will be here any minute. Go inside to wait for them, and lock the door.” She didn’t stick around to see if he would follow her orders. She cast out her line and hauled herself up onto the roof, sprinting across to put as much distance between the scene and herself as possible. She tagged on her comm as she jumped from rooftop to rooftop. “Hey, remember how I said it was statistically unlikely for a crime to happen right underneath me and how these nightly stakeouts are stupid?”
“Yeah?” Felicity said.
“Let’s never, ever tell Oliver he was right about something.”
If they were so determined on Keith being the Black Paladin, Lance being the Red Palading, and Allura being the Blue Paladin. They should have given Shiro the Blue Lion since day 1 - that would have been very interesting seeing the man with the most qualities of a lead being delegated to a support position. While another man who displayed any qualities you want in a leader is put in charge of a weapon of mass destruction. Instead we got this stubbornness try to remove Shiro any way possible.
There are so many things I would have changed, the first being not taking one of my main characters out for 24 episodes, undermining my story’s own lore, and not making the most dramatic moment of the series to date a fight between a main character and a main character’s clone. It guts the emotion of the scene.
But what do I know? I like IHOP pancakes, not burgers.
Hi, all! It’s been forever. Here’s a 1578 word fic I wrote set in my Momsverse AU, where Laurel’s foster kid is Stephanie Brown and she’s also dating Felicity, who has a kid of her own. Previous installments have been Present Tense, Cautionary Tale, and The Nightmare Fallout. This one’s PG-13 for a couple of swearing instances and takes place when they’re comfortably living together and being cute and domestic because life is hell but fiction is great.
Buzzing from a persistent phone was a bad enough sign while dating a vigilante. But when said vigilante picked up that phone, squinted at the screen, slammed it back onto the nightstand, and proceeded to burrow deeper under the covers, that was an entirely new one for Felicity.
“Please tell me that’s not work,” she said, cracking one eye open. “If you get up, Shay will get up, and then we’ll all be up. Can’t they find somebody else?”
“It’s not work.” Laurel pulled a pillow over her head.
“Then why is it buzzing?”
“Because life is hell.”
“Something had better be on fire.” Giving in, Felicity levered herself up on one elbow and stretched over her girlfriend, reaching for the phone and the nightstand. “And if it’s not, it’s going to be when I get a hold of whoever it is.”
Laurel grumbled. “It’s the Legends group chat.”
She did not emerge from under the pillow, and the phone was locked. Felicity could have made short work of the security, but instead she just tapped the button on the side to silence it. Why Laurel couldn’t have done that herself, she didn’t know.
Wait: “The Legends are in town?”
“No. But they’re in this time zone. Or period. I don’t know, they’re halfway across the world which is why they’re texting at four in the fucking morning.” Laurel reached out blindly with one arm, nearly clipping Felicity’s chin with her elbow as she located a handhold and tugged. “Please don’t validate them with attention. They’ll never learn otherwise. It’s time for sleep.”
“You’re the one who didn’t silence your phone,” Felicity said grumpily, but Laurel did have a point. She acquiesced to the tugging and cuddled in, grateful for the body heat since they’d set the thermostat too low again. She was just drifting off to sleep when the sound of a pitiful cry broke over the baby monitor.
“Goddammit,” she said, but Laurel was already shoving the covers off. “You don’t have to, it’s my turn.”
“Penance for my sins of not shutting my phone off,” Laurel said, collecting the object in question from the nightstand. She stumbled a little on the way to the door, grunting as her shoulder hit the wall. Felicity was sure she heard her mutter, “Besides if I don’t answer them, they’ll probably just show up in person and it’s a school day.”
Felicity couldn’t argue that one, so she decided just to go back to sleep instead.
At some point, Laurel must have settled Shay back down to sleep, for she was curled up next to Felicity, phone clutched in one hand, when the alarm went off. She groused wordlessly, batting at Felicity when she tried to shake her awake.
“You said it yourself, babe,” Felicity said, sing-songing the words just to tease her. “School day. Wakey-wakey.”
“Give me coffee or give me death,” was the reply from somewhere in the covers.
Steph at least proved easier to wake than her foster mother, as the teenager was already up and working on her combinations against the training dummy Oliver had given her for her seventeenth birthday. She bounced from foot to foot, chattering away at Felicity about school and an upcoming history project as Felicity made coffee. Felicity could not remember a single cheerful morning from her own teenage years, but she kindly did not inform Steph that she might be an alien.
She also felt no remorse in sending both her and Shayna in to haul Laurel out of bed after the coffee was ready. Probably mean, but Laurel would be upset at being late for work the day after a night off.
She looked somewhat more awake and put together as she joined Felicity and the girls for breakfast. She set her phone on the table, facedown.
“Are they still going at it?” Felicity asked.
Steph looked up from her last minute calculus homework. “Who?”
“The Legends,” Laurel told her foster daughter. “And yes. It’s led to a very intense debate. People have taken sides. They’re writing manifestos. Well, Ray and Nate are writing manifestos. Sara’s just mooning them, as far as I can tell.”
“Over what?” Felicity asked. “Please tell me they’re not fighting. I don’t think time can take another Strudel Incident.”
“Gideon has built in protocols to keep that from happening again,” Laurel said.
Like that would actually stop the Legends. “Seriously, what are they arguing about?”
Laurel sighed. “Shayna.”
Even the toddler turned to give her a puzzled look over that one.
“Sara,” Laurel said with that patented mix of fondness and aggravation that applied to her sister, “was apparently bragging about being Aunt Sara, which means Nyssa is Aunt Nyssa by privilege of marriage. Except that an argument started that since you and I aren’t married, can Sara actually claim ‘auntship?’ And if Sara gets to be Aunt Sara, Ray wants to be Uncle Ray. And then Nate had opinions and it escalated from there, as you can imagine.”
Felicity realized she was staring with her coffee mug halfway to her mouth. Carefully she put it down. “They’re…arguing over what my kid’s going to call them? That’s what led to them blowing up your phone at four o’fu—dging clock in the morning?”
“Yes,” Laurel said, grimly.
“Hold up. I’m your actual legal kid,” Steph said. “If Sara is Aunt Sara to anyone, it should be me.”
“Yes,” Laurel said again.
“So why does Shay get all the attention?”
“Do you want to call them Aunt or Uncle So-and-So?” Laurel asked.
Steph paused. “No,” she said slowly, as though discovering it for herself as she spoke.
“Exactly. Though every single one of them has chimed in that they would be honored by the title, so there’s that.” Laurel reached out and squeezed Steph’s shoulder. “You know they consider you their favorite mascot.”
“Ha, ha,” Steph said, but she looked a little pleased as she ducked back to focus on her math homework.
“I’d say that I can’t believe this has led to an argument this big,” Felicity said. “But that’s a lie. I fully believe it.”
“Yup,” Laurel said, picking up her phone and walking it on its edges across the table. Felicity could see that she had 72 new messages.
“How is that even an argument?” Felicity asked.
“I don’t know. At one point I saw a message from Sara about ‘blood is thicker than water’ and then Nate, being the twerp he is, pointed out that it’s actually ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.’ Which means friendship bonds are stronger than family bonds. So I learned something, amid all of the inanity. So there’s that.” Laurel twirled her phone around, clutching her coffee in her other hand like a lifeline. “None of them, by the way, have thought to ask either you or me to weigh in on this.”
“You’re in the group chat,” Felicity said. “They probably consider that your giving approval.”
“They don’t know I’m in there. Somebody tried to add Dinah and got the wrong one. Nobody has noticed.”
“Honest mistake. There are like thirty of you now,” Felicity said, grinning when Laurel wrinkled her nose at her.
Shay, gnawing on a strawberry slice, blew bubbles at the both of them.
“This is going to become an all-out war if we don’t do something,” Felicity said.
“Probably.” Laurel handed Shay another strawberry slice.
“So are we going to do something?”
“Honestly? I’m not sure. I’m kind of impressed by the caliber of arguments they’re making for and against their case.” Laurel shrugged. “It’s a little like a busman’s holiday for me.”
“Would it bother you to have them all be Shay’s honorary aunts and uncles?” Steph asked Felicity.
“And with one simple question, she proves herself capable of more logic than an entire group of time travelers,” Laurel said dryly, as Steph and Felicity laughed.
“If they promise to stop blowing up my girlfriend’s phone at all hours of the night, they can try and convince Shay to call them any non-offensive thing they like,” Felicity said. “It’s ultimately up to her.”
“Okay, good.” Steph turned to Laurel. “Can I see your phone?”
“Don’t set it to Thai again, please, that took me over an hour to get it back to English.” But Laurel handed over her phone.
Felicity made a mental note to check in on Steph’s hacking ability, as Laurel hadn’t even unlocked the thing and Steph had the messaging app open in record time. Her thumbs flew over the keyboard for a few seconds before she hit SEND and handed the phone back.
There was a pause and then seventeen messages seemed to come through at once.
“What did you just do?” Felicity asked.
“Oh, nothing much.” Steph buffed her nails on her school blazer and blew on her fingers. “Just ensured that Shayna’s going to have the best birthday presents from now ’til, like, eternity. If they want aunt or uncle status, awesome birthday gifts are the bare minimum. You’re welcome, little sis.”
She leaned across the table, fist extended. Gleefully, Shayna bumped her own strawberry-juice-stained fist against Steph’s knuckles.
Felicity met Laurel’s eyes over her coffee cup, mostly to hide her smile. “Have I mentioned lately that I love our life?” Laurel asked, and Felicity toasted her with her mug.
On the table, now ignored, Laurel’s phone continued to buzz away furiously.
As far as statements went, Laurel knew it was weak, but it had been twenty-four hours of sheer hell and every nerve in her body felt shot. She would be clever after she’d stared at the inside of her eyelids for a minimum of eight hours, preferably more.
It didn’t matter what she said at all, though. Silence reigned over the lair as several familiar and even more unfamiliar faces gawked at her in her battered gear, listing slightly as she stood in the doorway.
And then a cry pierced the quiet, followed by the click of running high heels. Felicity slammed into her hard enough that if she hadn’t braced, they both would have tumbled to the ground—and clung. Even though it made her bruised ribs sting, Laurel held on right back. “I’m sorry,” she heard herself saying. “I know my note said it would only be a few weeks, but the time-unit wasn’t very accurate. Please tell me I’m not, like, a month off. I never meant to make anyone worry.”
Felicity jerked back, and Laurel’s heart ached to see that she’d begun to cry. “A month off? Laurel, you’ve been gone six years.”
Laurel raised her wrist to the light, her chest tightening. A bruise would have faded to green and yellow by now. If it truly was a soulmark, it could only be the stuff of dreams and fairy tales—two of the farthest things from her reality.
Laurel gets a soulmark and discovers several things she knew about herself to no longer be true. A love story in three parts.
Read on AO3.
Rated PG-13, Laurel/Felicity, tw for recovery and addiction, grief, injuries. After a long delay on the part of the author, Team Arrow races off to Nanda Parbat to stop Ra’s and Felicity’s timing, as usual, is terrible.
It was an unbearable flight to Nanda Parbat.
Every part of Laurel burned with shame to be sharing a jet with her sister’s killer. Knowing that they needed Malcolm Merlyn’s help, that they couldn’t save Oliver or the city without him, didn’t bank the fires at all. Knowing that he was their only chance to save Nyssa from whatever her father had in store for her.
Because of this, Laurel took the seat on the jet farthest from Malcolm. The others gave her a wide berth until Felicity plopped down in the seat next to her and unceremoniously tucked her legs under her. She rested her head on Laurel’s shoulder. “If I stare at my tablet for another minute, I am going to throw myself off the plane. Please talk to me so I can stop playing the ten thousand things that can go wrong in a loop in my head.”
“I’m not sure I’m good for conversation right now,” Laurel said.
Felicity grimaced. “Oh, sorry. I can leave you alone.”
“No, it’s fine. Please, stay.”
Felicity seemed to think it over for a minute. She shifted in the seat, getting more comfortable.
Obligingly, Laurel forced herself to relax. These little displays from Felicity had become almost commonplace after Diggle’s wedding. In the past few months they’d gone from hesitant friends and teammates to instinctually supporting each other—with a great more affection. Felicity was usually the one to initiate things, bumping her elbow into Laurel’s side, hooking their arms together while they walked, or simply hugging her in greeting. And Laurel, cut off from her father with her sister gone and mother long ago having abandoned her, found that she was practically starved for casual touch. It was almost pathetic how needy she sometimes felt.
So now when Felicity cuddled up to her, Laurel pushed some of her bad mood aside and absently reached up to toy with her friend’s hair. Felicity tilted her head, almost imperiously, toward Laurel’s hand. Laurel almost wanted to laugh as she stroked Felicity’s hair. She could be so much like a cat sometimes.
“What’s that smile for?” Felicity asked.
“No reason.”
They faced impossible odds when they landed. Several uneasy allies against an army, one possibly led by a man close to all of them. Laurel had no idea what to expect—had Oliver truly lost his mind? Would they be able to stop the plane? Would the League simply be waiting to kill them, as the “Assassins” in their title would indicate?
She pushed the fear aside. “You should get some sleep,” she told Felicity. “It’s still a long flight.”
“You should, too.”
“I—can’t. Not with him here.” Laurel pasted on what she hoped was a brave smile. “But no reason for both of us to suffer. Get some sleep. Use me as a pillow, if you want.”
Felicity popped up the armrest between their seats. She curled up—again like a cat—and settled in with her head in Laurel’s lap. After a few seconds she grumbled and repositioned herself. “I need lazier friends. All of you are hard muscle. It’s not comfy.”
“So sorry for my rocking bod,” Laurel said, and Felicity laughed.
Before long, Felicity’s breath evened out and she went lax. Laurel carefully stretched and wrangled a blanket over her, making sure not to wake her. Across the cabin, she met Malcolm’s eyes. He raised an eyebrow at Felicity sleeping in her lap then at Laurel herself.
Laurel glared, and turned her attention back to the window, fury burning in her chest. She’d brokered deals that gave repugnant criminals sentences far more lenient than they deserved. That injustice—for the greater good—had led to so many restless nights. And it had nothing on the self-loathing coursing through her now.
If Sara could see her now, all but breaking bread with her killer, she would be so disappointed.
Felicity made a noise in her sleep and wriggled to get more comfortable. She groped around until she found Laurel’s hand—which she tucked under her chin like a security blanket. It was, to put it frankly, adorable. She had her fingers wrapped around the leather cuff, with absolutely no idea what lay underneath.
In the time Oliver had been away, leaving the team to carry on without him and find their rhythm again, the circuit board feather had grown more intricate. Maybe it was because she’d stopped fighting against the idea that Felicity could be her soulmate. Maybe it was because they’d been through hell together lately and that had tightened whatever bonds existed. Either way, she didn’t mind.
The guilt, however, gnawed away at her. The mark might be on her skin, but it belonged just as much to Felicity. Felicity, who’d probably spent countless hours daydreaming about soulmarks. The longer Laurel put off telling her, the worse it would be when she inevitably found out.
But every time Laurel moved to share, her courage withered. This was entirely new territory for her, and Felicity was fresh from a relationship with Ray. It made sense to take her time and make sure. Maybe the increased contact was simply a touch-starved Felicity replacing what she’d lost with a close friend. Or maybe the soulmark wasn’t one-sided. Either way, all of this was now to Laurel. And Felicity’s friendship mattered more than ever, so she really, really did not want to screw any of this up.
Besides, there was a strong chance they wouldn’t even survive the next twelve hours. If they didn’t stop Ra’s al Ghul, it wouldn’t even matter.
Cold comfort, at best.
Half an hour before they were due to land, Felicity woke up and began the final checks on her tablet, barely sparing Laurel a glance. Laurel let her work in silence—or as silent as Felicity, who tended to mutter to herself even during an intense hacking session, could get—while she steeled her own nerves for the upcoming fight. At the fifteen minute warning, she picked her way to the private cabin to change into her armor. She pulled on the first layer, leaving the jacket on the bed, and held a staring contest with her mask and the wig. The entire League of Assassins had to know who she was by now. What did it even matter?
She had just stuffed the wig back in her kit bag when a soft knock sounded at the door. Felicity poked her head in. “Tatsu says we’ll have a hike when we land, so I’ve been sent back to remind you to put on sunscreen and—what’s that on your arm? Did you get a tattoo?”
Laurel jolted, her gaze snapping to her wrist. The cuff had been pushed up her arm so that the edge of the soulmark peeked out.
Casually, she nudged the cuff back into place, hoping her hand didn’t shake with the cold terror suffusing her. “It’s a feather,” she said. Not technically a lie.
“Why is it covered up? Can I see it?” Felicity asked.
“I—” Laurel cast about for an excuse. She was about to blurt out that the tattoo artist had done a terrible job, but she was saved by Diggle showing up to let them know the plane was about to land and that he needed Felicity to confirm a few last minute details for him.
Felicity followed him out, though she did cast one quizzical look at Laurel as she left.
Laurel pulled on her jacket and buckled into her armor, but she had to admit that the nerves weren’t entirely to blame on the battle ahead.
* * *
By the time they were escorted into the main chamber of Nanda Parbat, Laurel’s left arm felt as though she’d plunged it straight into a brazier of burning coals. She walked toward the back of the group, teeth gritted, arm tucked close to her midsection. If the guards noticed dripping blood, they didn’t comment.
She’d peeked at the wound a few times on the forced march into the headquarters, but she didn’t dare get a better look. One of the assassins had sliced the back of her arm when she’d followed Felicity to provide cover. Though she’d managed to winch some of the buckles on her sleeve closed to apply pressure, she could feel the warm slide of blood down her arm and onto her wrist, right over the soulmark.
When Oliver—god, his eyes were so empty of the Oliver Laurel knew—looked at in the line, Laurel slid her arm behind her back. She did let out a hiss of pain when a guard grabbed her by the elbow to march her into the cell. She covered by demanding to speak with Nyssa.
No answer, of course. At this point, she wasn’t even sure the guards could talk. Laurel kept her teeth gritted, hoping her friend and trainer was safe.
In the cell, her vision went briefly white when they clapped manacles around her wrist. Laurel hoped she seemed casual as she took a seat on one of the stones, but it felt like more like collapsing. She needed to tend her arm, she knew. It was growing worse by the minute.
But the cut sliced near the soulmark and no way in hell was she letting Malcolm Merlyn see that. Laurel angled her body away and applied pressure to her arm. She gritted her teeth harder.
“I can’t believe Nyssa would agree to marry him,” Felicity said.
“I don’t really think there was much agreeing,” Diggle said in a bitter voice.
“We need to focus on getting out of here alive,” Merlyn said.
“Is that…even a remote possibility?” Ray asked nervously.
Laurel tuned the rest of them out. Her hand shook as she unbuckled some of the straps on her sleeve.
“Wait a second,” she heard Felicity say. “Laurel, what’s wrong with your—”
The door to the cell slammed open. In short order, Diggle was taken off by one set of guards and Malcolm—shouting in Arabic—by another. Laurel kept her jaw clenched and her wound out of sight of the guards.
The minute Malcolm and the guards had vanished, Laurel cleared her throat. “So, funny story, I got sliced pretty bad.”
Felicity dropped an oath Laurel hadn’t heard since law school and scrambled over. “Oh—oh, damn, that’s a lot of blood. Laurel—hell, there’s so much blood. And you’re really pale.”
She reached for Laurel’s sleeve, to push it back, and Laurel instinctively tensed and pulled her arm away.
This was not how she wanted Felicity to discover the soulmark.
But Felicity actually tsked at her, like she was Oliver or something. “Laurel. You’re obviously hurt. Just let me look.”
There was, Laurel saw, absolutely no way of hiding it. And her arm hurt so badly. So she held her arm out, and waited.
“God, they really got you,” Felicity said in a rush. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
“It’s not deep,” Laurel said.
“Help me with her sleeve?” Felicity asked Ray, who’d been hovering worriedly behind her. “You don’t have a first aid kit on you, do you? Laurel, stay with us, please don’t pass out.”
“I’m not even dizzy, Felicity. It’s fine.”
“Still, this looks bad. Seriously, you should have said something!”
“Let’s maybe patch her up before the guards come back,” Ray said. “That’s who you’re worried about noticing, right?” He looked at Laurel, a line between his eyebrows.
“Not exactly,” Laurel said, and she grimaced as they ripped her sleeve. That would take forever to repair. She would have to send Cisco an apology fruit basket if they made it out of this in one piece—though things weren’t looking too hopeful at the moment.
Felicity continued to scold as they applied as much first aid as they could to Laurel’s arm. She didn’t seem to require an actual response, and Laurel figured it helped her to have somebody to berate, so she let her attention drift in and out. In the end, they tore off strips of Felicity’s hoodie for makeshift bandages, layering those on while she gritted her teeth and did a few breathing exercises she’d picked up at the single yoga class she’d managed to attend in the past few months.
She didn’t dare look at her wrist, where she could see a good inch of the soulmark that wasn’t hidden beneath the manacle.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” Felicity asked again. “That could’ve been super serious, Laurel. It still might be, if we don’t convince the guards for basic supplies allowed to us by the Geneva Convention.” She raised her voice for the last bit, directed at the cell door.
“I don’t think these guys follow the Geneva Convention,” Ray said. “My nanotech could clean that right up. If we get out of here.”
“Th-thanks,” Laurel said, carefully moving her arm.
“Nice ink, by the way,” Ray said. “Seriously cool design.”
Laurel’s stomach dropped. “Thank you,” she said what she hoped was a casual voice. She knew he was just being people-pleasing affable Ray, but she kind of wanted to kick him.
“Ink? Oh, right, your tattoo!” Felicity perked up slightly in spite of the worried pall across her face. “I didn’t get to see it earlier. May I?”
It took every ounce of willpower Laurel had left not to yank her arm and wrist behind her. Instead, she gave in to the inevitable and held out her arm.
Ray eagerly leaned in closer. “The feather’s because you’re the Canary?”
“Seemed fitting,” Laurel said, using the excuse of blood loss to lean back against the column.
“The colors are really pretty,” Felicity said, sounding genuinely impressed. Laurel swiftly stole a look at her; Felicity had her fingers resting lightly on the manacle, and her face didn’t portray any sense of understanding. She patted Laurel’s thigh.
She thought it was just a tattoo.
“I’m going to go ask the guard for a first aid kit, or whatever the Nanda Parbat equivalent is. God, I hope it’s not leeches,” Felicity said, and Laurel grimaced.
As Felicity climbed to her feet and walked toward the cell door, Ray—after glancing at Laurel for permission—gently lifted her arm. “What’s this pattern? It’s really intricate—oh, circuit board. Neat. Bringing the Canary into the digital age?”
“That’s definitely one interpretation,” Laurel said.
She saw Felicity’s shoulders tense, and the woman stop in her tracks. She looked over her shoulder with a puzzled frown.
And the cell door slammed open, making all of them except Tatsu jump. As Diggle stumbled back into the cell and Felicity shouted at the guards for medical supplies, Laurel leaned back against a column and closed her eyes.
This truly was it. Felicity was a literal genius, and it didn’t even take one of those to see why Laurel might be evasive over a tattoo. Why she might not want a sworn enemy to see what was supposed to be a simple bit of ink. What a circuit board feather might mean.
Where did that leave them now? Laurel had no idea.
She heard shuffling on either side of her. “How is she?” Diggle said.
“I’m fine, though this stings like a bitch, so if you’ve got any grand rescue plans, now would be a great time,” Laurel said without opening her eyes.
“Sorry, I left them in my other coat,” Diggle said.
And then Laurel felt the manacle on her wrist move slightly. She opened her eyes to see that Felicity had eased it down so that it hid the soulmark from sight. Surprised, she met Felicity’s gaze, which seemed to radiate alarm. Her eyes had gone almost comically wide, and her throat worked.
Tatsu, Laurel noticed, was regarding both of them with interest. Laurel braced for the questions to come.
But Felicity just turned to Diggle. “Please tell me Oliver has some plan to get us out of here.”
Diggle only shook his head, grimly. All hope had faded from his face.
“Fine. That’s…fine. We’ll just have to do it ourselves.” Felicity met Laurel’s gaze, not looking away. “We’re going to get out of here. And when we do, this team needs to talk. About a lot of things.”
Then she turned away, leaving Laurel in utter confusion.
* * *
Dying sucked. Dying and knowing that she’d been betrayed by Oliver was even worse.
Worst of all, Laurel had time to think as she collapsed to the ground in a coughing fit, feeling the virus seize her muscles, was that she hadn’t told Felicity ages ago. She should have taken the chance, and damn the consequences. As black overtook her vision, she curled up, clutching her wrist. Her last vision was of Felicity, chained up on the other side of the cell, meeting her eyes before they both passed out.
* * *
On the flight back to Star City, Felicity stayed on the other side of the plane. Not once did she look at Laurel, who spent the flight ineffectually stitching up her sleeve and worrying over Nyssa. Any calls she placed to her father went straight to voicemail. Not that she expected that to work, but it burned. After the third, she nearly threw her phone at the seat opposite in disgust.
“No luck?” a quiet voice asked, making her jolt.
“God, warn a girl, will you?” Laurel released her death grip on the arm rest. “I don’t really want to die of a heart attack.”
“Sorry.” Felicity gingerly sat down next to her—keeping a healthy distance this time, Laurel noted with a sinking stomach.
“It’s fine. We’re all a little on edge.”
“Um…” Felicity’s gaze flicked down to Laurel’s wrist, which she’d once again covered with Sara’s cuff.
Laurel instinctively glanced toward Malcolm, who was once again meditating near the front of the plane.
Puzzled, Felicity peered that way as well—and then understanding seemed to dawn. She leaned forward and spoke in a low voice. “I guess I see why you weren’t in a hurry to tell us you’d nearly sliced your arm off.”
“That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think? It’s a fairly shallow cut,” Laurel said, frowning.
“Still—”
“It worked out. I didn’t want him to know.”
“Yeah, he’s apparently not alone in that, is he?” Felicity frowned.
Laurel winced. “I don’t think now’s a good time to get into that.”
“Or ever, apparently, as it really didn’t look like you were going to tell me at all.” Felicity scowled. “But never mind that, we have other problems. I wanted to check over your arm.”
“It’s fine. I already cleaned it up earlier with the medkit. It barely even hurts anymore.”
“Even so—”
“Felicity, it’s fine,” Laurel said, scowling back at her. “Also, it’s my arm, I think I would know whether it’s okay or not.”
She wasn’t entirely talking about the cut on her arm, she realized.
And Felicity seemed to know that, for she held Laurel’s gaze for a long, simmering moment, clearly annoyed. Then she rolled her eyes and stalked off, muttering about how vigilantes were all alike. Laurel wasn’t sure she liked that much, as being compared to Oliver tended to rankle, but at least Felicity had retreated to the other side of the plane, giving her some much needed space.
If this was any sort of victory, it felt like a hollow one. Laurel sagged back against the seat and stubbornly returned to work on her sleeve. She did not look Felicity’s way even once.
God, this was a mess.
* * *
And of course Oliver wasn’t a traitor.
An asshole? Sure. That much was obvious from the way Diggle nearly laid him out flat. But secretly he had been on their side all along. The helter-skelter plans he had devised with Malcolm Merlyn showed just how much Ra’s and his men had backed everybody into a corner. Laurel could appreciate that much. But now that everything was out in the open, she could admit his betrayal still stung. Hope also didn’t seem to be in great abundance among the team. They’d been outsmarted by Ra’s: fractured by broken trust; Roy had faked his death; Nyssa had lost her heritage. And there was no way in hell they could physically fight a pathogen.
But why let a little thing like semantics stop them?
“Can you talk to your father?” Oliver asked her directly. He was considerate enough to wince, but not thoughtful enough to send anybody else on his task. “We’re going to need police backup to canvas all of Star City.”
The last thing she wanted to do right now, with everything so raw, was confront the man who she’d hurt—and who had lashed back at her in turn—for months. But Laurel nodded and pulled on her jacket. “I’ll do my best,” she said, as she knew better than to promise anything where her father was concerned.
“Good, then everybody has their orders.” Oliver looked at each of them in turn. Laurel wasn’t the only one who glared back. “Good luck.”
Laurel exchanged an eye-roll with Diggle and turned away without glancing in Felicity’s direction. Since their tiny dust-up on the plane, they’d avoided each other.
She wasn’t surprised when Nyssa fell into step next to her. “How’re you doing?” she asked her friend, quietly.
“I have had better days,” was Nyssa’s neutral reply.
She’d always had a thing for well-crafted understatement.
“God, I need a drink,” Laurel said, and Nyssa’s face radiated alarm for a split-second. “But I’ll settle for a burger on the way. You hungry?”
“I believe the term Americans would use here is ‘starved.’”
“Works for me. I need to get my car keys from my locker, so—”
“Laurel! Wait up!” Heels clicked along the tile in the hallway as they both turned to see Felicity hurrying along toward them.
“I shall wait in the car,” Nyssa said.
“Okay. The combination on my locker is—”
“I do not require it.” And Nyssa sauntered off.
Laurel had only a second or so to wonder if Nyssa worked at it or if being that unsettling came naturally to her, before Felicity arrived, a little out of breath. She nearly careened into Laurel in her hurry, and possibly would have fallen over if Laurel hadn’t grabbed her arms with an alarmed, “Whoa! What’s the matter?”
“Matter? Huh? Oh—oh, nothing.” Felicity flushed and stepped back out of reach. She looked at Laurel’s wrist and away just as quickly. “I just—I didn’t want what I said to you on the plane to be the last thing. Just, like, in case. Not that I don’t have the utmost faith in you, I totally do, but as this year has more than proved, bad stuff happens and you can never really know, you know?”
“Know what?” Laurel asked, as the words had tumbled out on top of each other in a rush.
“Just know.” Felicity’s flush darkened. “None of this is coming out right, which is the story of my life. Look, just—we have so much to talk about. Just be safe out there, okay? Um, don’t die.”
And Laurel found herself jerked into a hug that was as strong as it was short. She blinked and Felicity was scurrying away, the back of her neck bright red.
“Hey!” she called back before she could stop herself. Felicity turned, still walking. “The same goes for you, too, you know.”
“Thanks!” The grin Felicity flashed at her as she vanished around the corner could light up entire city blocks.
* * *
Eight hours later, Laurel gritted her teeth and lowered herself into an ice bath. It turned out literally saving the world didn’t even factor in: injuries sustained in the fight hurt just as bad after saving thousands from a killer virus as they did after a humiliating loss.
Which was downright rude, but not much she could do about it.
She blew out her breath at the cutting shock of cold before she deliberately relaxed her muscles in the frigid water. The city was safe. Nyssa was safe. Even Oliver was safe. Ra’s al Ghul had been defeated, things with her father somewhat aired out if not entirely fixed. She’d earned this chance to kick back and tune out and deliberately not think about anything.
Easy enough to do when she had the base to herself. Diggle had gone home to Lyla and Baby Sara, Thea had vanished somewhere to brood—Laurel planned to track her down later—she had no idea where Felicity had vanished to, and Oliver was packing to leave. He had asked Felicity to go with him so maybe she’d changed her mind and was packing.
Laurel didn’t really want to think about that.
Using the ice machine to fill the base tub seemed like way less work than stopping to buy ice on her way home, so Laurel had done that. She let her head rest on the back of the tub and half-closed her eyes. The slosh of water and ice lapping against the sides of the Jacuzzi tub lulled her into a doze.
“Uh…how naked are you in there?” Felicity’s voice from the doorway made her lift her head, and smile in spite of herself. Felicity had her hand over her eyes.
“Per the base’s ‘no nudity rules,’ I’ve got a sports bra on, and shorts,” she said. “If you can’t handle the sight of naked abs, you picked the wrong team.”
“Ain’t that the truth.” Felicity hovered in the doorway for a long moment, hand still over her eyes, and Laurel watched her seem to literally decide whether to stay or go. Not that Laurel blamed her: Laurel’s own stomach had suddenly tied itself in knots.
Evidently, the more courageous part of Felicity won, for she lowered her hand and picked her way across the base. She’d traded her Nanda Parbat attire for a cute pencil skirt and a polka-dotted top. Only when she drew closer did Laurel see that the polka dots were actually butterflies. She hesitated and took a seat next to the tub, her eyes on the wrist that Laurel had left uncovered.
Later had arrived.
“May I?” Felicity asked.
Laurel, not sure she trusted her voice, nodded.
It felt different than Ray or Nyssa observing the mark. For one thing, the mere brush of Felicity’s fingertips triggered tiny electrical pulses through her arm and shoulder. While Ray had looked intrigued and Nyssa coolly interested, Felicity seemed more awestruck.
“You know, I really thought I had hallucinated it,” Felicity said, tracing a finger along the feather’s spine. Laurel shivered, and tried to blame the ice bath. “It was pretty dark in that dungeon. It’s circuit board. Just like you said at the wedding, only you weren’t talking about Oliver.”
Laurel nodded again. “It had already come in by then. Not…as detailed.”
“God, and these colors.” Felicity shook her head. “I guess this means you’re my soulmate.”
“Well, you’re certainly mine,” Laurel said. “I don’t know if it goes both ways.”
“Can it?” Felicity finally met her gaze and smiled, and Laurel promptly forgot to breathe. “I’d really like it to.”
“I—ah—” Her brain suddenly refused to cooperate. “What about Oliver?”
Felicity blinked. “What about him?”
“You—he—” Why were there no words? “Look, there were some very pining looks thrown around. It was not subtle. At all.”
A slow grin began to spread over Felicity’s face. “Were you jealous?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Because you sound jealous. Just a little bit.” Felicity tapped a finger against her lips, looking contemplative. “You know, it’s probably a little mean to be flattered, but I think I am.”
Laurel groaned and contemplated ducking her entire head under the water. “Sure, be flattered. You know, these last few months have been…confusing. I didn’t even really believe in soulmarks and then all of a sudden, I’ve got one. For my best friend—another woman. I’ve never been attracted to women before, but my soulmate is a woman, and now I don’t even know if I’m gay, or straight, or what. I don’t know what I am.”
Felicity pursed her lips. “Are you sure?”
“I just told you I’m not.”
“Hmm. I think your soul might be.” When Laurel gave her an exasperated look, Felicity laughed. “I’m not trying to be all mystic or whatever, I swear. It’s just that your soulmark happens to be the colors of the bisexual flag.”
“Bisexual? Like Sara?” Laurel asked. She lifted her wrist to frown at the soulmark. Months before, the thought of being anything but straight had nearly sent her into a towering panic. But now, perhaps, she shared an identity with Sara, one more little connection.
“Of course,” Felicity said, “no one really knows how these marks work. The colors could be coming from me.” Laurel’s gaze cut to her, and she smirked. “What? You didn’t suspect anything? Not even when I kept accidentally hitting on everybody, no matter their gender?”
“You’re magnetic. It’s a kind of magic with everyone you meet,” Laurel said. It was one of her favorite things about Felicity, actually. “I guess I just thought that since you and Ray—and you and Oliver…”
“Huh. Yeah, I can see that. Oliver and I did have something, once upon a time. It literally blew up in our faces.” Felicity shrugged, and Laurel froze as she scooted closer, her eyes sparkling. After the last few weeks of sheer misery, it felt like a light in the darkness, and she didn’t know whether to trust it. “Maybe I could have had something with Oliver again, but see, there was this stunningly gorgeous teammate of mine—you should see her, she is seriously cute—who just kept popping up in my life with food, and making me laugh, and debating things—”
“Arguing, you mean,” Laurel said.
“She’s a lawyer, it’s part of the charm. And she always made me feel special, even when she was exposed to the genuine horror that was my goth phase.”
“That picture was incredibly cute, though.”
Felicity let out a put-upon sigh. “I do occasionally question her taste.”
Laurel flicked water at her, and she yelped, holding her hands up in a time out gesture.
“I didn’t make you feel special,” Laurel said. “You are special. The sheer force of you made a fancy magic doodle manifest on my skin. That’s talent.”
“What can I say? I’m magnetic.”
“You are.” And damn if self-confidence didn’t look amazing on her. Laurel wanted nothing more than to play along, to smile back and just flirt—she’d missed this so much—but the sinking feeling in her stomach refused to go away. “Are you still mad I didn’t show you? I know you love soulmarks.”
“Are you kidding? Soulmarks are terrifying. You’re literally wearing your heart on your sleeve with absolutely no guarantee the other person feels the same way. I’m impressed you didn’t take off running when I figured it out.”
“Manacles,” Laurel said.
“Even so.”
“Massive blood loss, too.”
“Oh, if you’re going to be pedantic about it.” Felicity wrinkled her nose. “I really am sorry about what I said on the plane. Like, I thought about it and I realized: I might not have showed you ever if it had been me. So I totally get it. Not that brave either.”
Laurel eyed her. “I don’t know. You seem plenty brave right now.”
“I have literal, colorful, and very detailed proof you like me.” Felicity grinned. “It gives me a little bit of an edge.”
But as much bravado as she projected, Laurel could still see the way Felicity’s thumbs twitched, never stilling, and how her chin trembled just slightly. Felicity was as nervous as she was. That, more than anything she had actually said, sent a wave of sudden calm through Laurel.
“Hey. Come here.” Laurel reached out with her dry arm.
Felicity immediately wrapped her fingers around Laurel’s wrist, thumb tracing the spine of the feather as she leaned in. Compared to the icy water, she felt like a furnace. The kiss was slow at first, both of them hesitant, until Felicity changed the angle. She slid her fingers into Laurel’s hair, tugging a little. Amused—and ridiculously turned on—Laurel kissed her back with just as much fervor. She touched Felicity’s cheek—
Felicity jerked back with a yelp. “Cold! Gah!”
“Uh.” Laurel looked down at the bath and shook her head to clear it. She’d completely forgotten about the literal ice water. “Sorry,” she said with a wince.
Felicity clapped her hand over her mouth to unsuccessfully stifle a giggle. “Wait, did you forget where you were? Got a little carried away, did you?”
“You started it.” Laurel flicked water at her, laughing when she shrieked. “It’s not that cold.”
“Yes it is, and I am staying decidedly out of range of you and your icy fingers of death.” But Felicity laughed as she scooted back. “Which is not to say that I am opposed to what we did, and in fact I would like to do so again, but somewhere decidedly less frigid.”
It came out, Laurel noted, like a question. The hesitance seemed to be creeping back.
“We should.” Laurel folded her arms over the edge of the tub. Her grin was probably dopey as hell, but she didn’t care. “Tomorrow night? Now that we don’t have the end of the world to worry about for at least a couple weeks, we should maybe go to that new Thai fusion place on Main. Seven o’clock?”
“It’s a date, soulmate.” Felicity closed her eyes in horror as Laurel cracked up. “Oh god. Let’s both pretend I never said that. In fact, I’m just—gonna go. While I still have a modicum of cool left. And sense, too, because, like, you’re all wet and you like me and—okay, bye.”
And distinctly bright red, she scurried off without a second look.
Left alone in the base once again, Laurel waited until Felicity was definitely out of hearing range before she indulged herself and ducked under the water to let out a happy scream—one from which she surfaced with a gasp and a great deal of swearing. Elated or not, she was still in a literal ice bath. And enough of that, really. She’d deal with the aches on her own later. She climbed out, trembling.
Even freezing, she couldn’t stop smiling. The rest of her might have felt cold, but her wrist burned with warmth. She held it up to the light, flexing it as she admired the colors. For the very first time, she saw the mark as neither a trap nor even slightly cursed. Felicity knew and she felt the same way. Things with her father were…better. They’d saved the city. Maybe just this once she was entitled to a shred of happiness, Laurel thought as she dressed to go home and face-plant onto her mattress and stay there for at least twelve hours.
No, she determined. She had a date with her actual soulmate. The soulmark was permission to be happy.
yesokayiknow replied to your post “ok but felicity and nyssa for the brotp meme bc i feel like they spend...”
re the last point: ......how many times has she said that to laurel
Nyssa gave Laurel a long-suffering look before glancing over her shoulder and giving Sara a pleading don’t-make-me-do-this sigh. Sara merely waggled her eyebrows, so Nyssa turned back. “Because I have lost the bet,” she said, stressing every syllable, “I am to tell you that your pants look very nice. They would look better on Felicity’s floor.”
Laurel’s eyebrows skyrocketed up. Behind Nyssa, Sara promptly lost it. Felicity, who’d turned bright red already, could not seem to make eye contact all of a sudden.
“Noted,” Laurel finally said.
Nyssa huffed in annoyance at Sara, the traitor still cracking up in the corner. “Come along, then,” she said, and Sara followed, leaving Felicity and Laurel standing there in all their glorious awkwardness.
But as she left, the two of them heard: “But truly, if she is being respectful of Felicity’s domicile, she should at the very least fold the pants or hang them up—”
Sara and Felicity, also Laurel and Nyssa for the brotp thing.
Just so you know, there’s a theme going on in my inbox right now.
who steals french fries off the other’s plate
Sara steals fries all the time. “I will buy you your own plate of fries.”“I can’t pay you back, turns out saving literally all of time doesn’t pay that well.”Felicity sighs as Sara takes three more fries. “Let’s just consider it a gift, then.”
Laurel is actually the fry thief. Nyssa is kind enough to let her think she gets away with it.
who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple
Sara. I can’t think of a single universe where this isn’t Sara. Even in the ones where she doesn’t exist. She would just somehow spontaneously manifest herself into being JUST TO HAVE THIS JOKE.
You know, of the two of them? Maaaaaybe Laurel? But she would have to be feeling super goofy.
who has to bust or bail the other out of jail
Felicity has been collected by the time crew no less than six times to come help them get Sara out of jail.
Canonically? Laurel doesn’t bust Nyssa out of jail even when she should. In my head? Nyssa 1000% showed up to get Laurel out of jail one night after she started a fight with a dudebro.
who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues
Felicity and Laurel for this one. Even though they’re both worse at relationships than the other two.
who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes
ALL FOUR OF THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE STINKERS.
who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk
Sara. Felicity talks excitedly about it because she always wanted to go to camp and get the top bunk but this does not budge Sara one bit.
Laurel. Because she’s the big sister and therefore a brat.
who starts and who wins the pillow fights
Could go either way but honestly, Felicity. Sara has better aim. Felicity is startlingly ruthless.
Laurel. Nyssa is very puzzled but winds up enjoying herself. They call it a draw later on over hot cocoa.
who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush
I feel like Felicity would be a great wingman but also the euphemisms would be terrible.
Laurel would 10000% help Nyssa out any way she can.
Rated PG, trigger warnings for death and grief, Laurel/Felicity. Thanks to @yesokayiknow, @stungunmilly2, Oswin, and Ivan for the inspiration! @felicityremarkablesmoak provided the title, which comes from the amazing Carly Rae Jepsen’s Roses.
Laurel dies, but death will never stop Felicity.
Read on AO3.
Felicity sits down at a café and orders a coffee. She can feel warm sunlight on her shoulders, even though part of her insists it’s not supposed to be sunny, and the air smells of crisp lettuce and the BLTs she always used to order at this place. Felicity stares at the menu and wonders why everything feels so perfect, yet altogether wrong.
A woman sits across from her, chair scraping on the tiles. “Been awhile,” says a voice, and Felicity blinks, looks up from the menu to see—
—the wall in her room as she wakes up in a cold sweat, gasping. She’s not in a café, she’s in her bedroom. She sits up and breathes as the pieces of the dream fall apart in her mind. She knows that café. She used to go there to meet Laurel for celebratory lunch every time Laurel won a case.
Felicity hasn’t been there in two years.
She doesn’t fall back asleep.
* * *
She can’t stop being curious, so instead of grabbing lunch at the deli around the corner from her office, she walks six extra blocks to the café. Only it’s not there anymore, it shut down six months ago and a bright orange sign for a bubble tea shop greets her.
Dejection floods through her so intensely that she feels the raw edge of grief sudden, no longer dulled by time.
When she turns, she sees a single feather on the sidewalk.
It’s ironic. For somebody who claimed the bird in her name, Laurel used to be kind of squeamish about loose feathers on the street. “They’re full of bugs and mites and disease, Felicity, don’t touch that.”
Felicity picks up the feather.
She goes home and googles how to clean feathers, which she does with judicious prejudice (thanks, Laurel). It’s a pretty feather, a splash of yellow into the brown, and when she searches for it online, her blood chills.
A canary feather.
She checks twice, three times, but it doesn’t change. Not a species native to the area. It has to be some kind of weird fluke, part of some art piece that fluttered off and sat on the sidewalk where she used to meet the Black Canary for lunch.
She pins it to her lampshade on her nightstand anyway.
* * *
“Something up?” Curtis asks on their lunchbreak, which they’ve taken to spending together in hopes of repairing their relationship.
“Just my subconscious being a royal jerk,” Felicity says, and launches into some stuttering and innuendo to throw him off the scent. She’s gotten so good at faking it that her friends can’t tell the manufactured babbling from the real. She does her best to forget about all of it until she’s walking home and a warm breeze passes by. It smells like the blintzes she used to pick up for Laurel on stakeout nights.
She finds a second canary feather while crossing the street.
That night, she’s back in the café in the middle like good dreams always start, and Laurel’s laughing but Felicity can’t remember what she said and that’s okay, Laurel’s there and she’s so beautiful when she laughs and—
Felicity wakes up again, not in a cold sweat, but with a grin on her face that fades when the truth comes crashing back in.
* * *
After that, she finds feathers everywhere. First single feathers on the sidewalk, one at a time, some brown and white, others with a bright slash of yellow. Then dozens at a time, on the balcony of her apartment, by her car in the parking garage. The dreams become clearer. She begins to remember bits of what Laurel says, complaints about the judge on her court cases, small talk, compliments. She remembers the things her heart forgot about Laurel’s smile.
And Felicity wants to tell her a thousand things she never said while Laurel was alive, things like we took you for granted and how did you stay so calm in the face of so much pain? But she always finds herself talking about whatever Laurel’s chattering about, laughing along with her.
“You should get more sleep,” Laurel teases one night.
“I’d get to see you more,” Felicity agrees.
Laurel, for the first time, looks away, her cheerfulness dropping like a marionette with its strings cut. Before Felicity can ask why, she opens her eyes to see the base ceiling, a horrible crick in her neck from falling asleep at the computers.
Felicity goes home—via cab at Oliver’s insistence—and stares at the boxes of feathers. For months, she’s reminded herself the dreams aren’t real. Laurel is gone. Death takes people and it doesn’t always return them and Sara has won all the fatal lottery tickets the Lance family can possibly have. She can’t live within these dreams anymore. She has to give them up.
So she unpins the first feather from her lampshade and moves to put it in the box with the others. As she does, a strange compulsion makes her stand, grab her purse, and leave her apartment.
The workers at the craft store all give her a wide berth, possibly due to the manic glint in her eyes, but she finds the material she needs. For thirty six hours, she toils, barely eating, using every bit of jigsaw puzzle knowledge she’s ever possessed until a wide set of wings, angelic and whole, spread over the wall.
They’re—perfect. Save for one missing piece. Felicity holds the final feather in her hand, her throat working.
She falls asleep still holding it.
* * *
In her dream, she’s not in the café. She’s not in any place she recognizes at all, actually. A bedroom, sunny and breezy, a fluffy white duvet on the bed and Klimt prints on the walls. Laurel lounges on a pouf chair, feet bare, in her uniform with the top shoved down to her waist so that the lace tank underneath shows off her arms.
She’s just asked Felicity a question, but Felicity can’t remember it for the life of her. “No, I’m not sure it’ll work,” Felicity says, answering anyway. “But it’s not like I’m sure of anything these days.”
“What are you so afraid of?”
“That I’ll try and lose myself, the way I’ve already lost you.”
Laurel’s lips curve upward. “Felicity Smoak. Afraid to try something. Now there’s a day I thought I’d never see.”
You’re not seeing it, Felicity wants to say, because you’re dead.
“The worst has already happened,” Laurel says. “So why not try?”
“What if I fail?”
“What if you don’t?”
And Felicity wakes up.
“I’m afraid I’ll lose myself?” Felicity asks, shoving her legs out bed and running her free hand through her hair. She twirls the feather in her other hand and looks at her creation with a snort. “If there’s one thing that’s obvious here, it’s that I’ve already lost it.”
And she really has. What does she think this final feather will do? Complete the wings and somehow conjure up a healthy, alive Laurel in her apartment? She doesn’t even believe in magic. It’s stupid to hesitate, and foolishness tastes bitter in her throat. Upset with herself for an undying sense of hope when it’s bound not to work, she all but crams the last feather into place.
Nothing happens.
* * *
Felicity goes to work hating herself for even hoping in the first place.
She stays late, though she avoids her coworkers. Helping out the team requires being clipped and brusque and repeatedly but firmly rebuffing all offers to talk. When she finds herself considering a hotel room instead of going home to face the wings, she scoffs and marches straight to her apartment instead. Felicity Smoak does not run from her fears.
Though she might avoid looking at them for a little while, after coming home. Out of shame.
It’s only when she’s preparing for bed that she finally looks. And she drops her toothbrush.
The wings are gone.
* * *
She tears her apartment apart, looking for anything else the intruders might have taken, but only the wings are missing. She almost calls every member of her team to come and stay with her, but she doesn’t want to explain the mania of the past week, or the dreams, or any of it. With the wings gone, reality seems to reassert itself into the cold corners of her mind.
Hell, she probably hallucinated it all in the first place. It’s not like she showed the feathers to anyone else.
She ignores the minuscule thread of hope in the back of her mind that Laurel—what? Might come gliding in through the window on a set of wings made from glued canary feathers?
She ignores that thread. It hurts too much. And she doesn’t sleep a wink.
* * *
Felicity can’t fight it forever. Even in college she sucked at all-nighters. Which is why she eventually gives in, climbs atop a stack of exercise mats in the base, and passes out while Rene and Dinah spar.
She’s in the room again, she sees immediately. Only this time there isn’t a feeling like she’s been there for a long time and just can’t remember it. This time she’s standing on the windowsill like she climbed in.
Laurel flips through a magazine on the same pouf chair, in a Starling City Comets baseball tee and loose sweatpants.
Her grin is blinding when she looks up and spots Felicity. “There you are! I thought you were avoiding me.”
Felicity can’t make her mouth form words. “Uh…”
Laurel jumps to her feet and crosses the room by parkouring over the bed. She grabs Felicity’s hand and it—it feels so real and warm. “Well, c’mon, don’t be shy. Let me see them.”
“See what?” Felicity asks, and Laurel gives her a strange look.
“See what?” Laurel echoes. “You’ve been working on them forever. I’m just sorry it took me so long to get you the feathers—”
And it clicks in Felicity’s mind that something’s moving at the edges of her vision. She turns her head.
A pair of wings engulf her vision, ten feet tall and stretching out from her shoulder blades. Wings. Just like the ones she built on her wall, only these rustle with life, each feather perfect. Felicity reaches out in wonder, her fingers brushing lightly over the tips of the feathers she’s spent hours—days—weeks staring at.
“You don’t remember,” Laurel says quietly, sliding one finger down a longer feather near Felicity’s shoulder.
Felicity can shake her head. That touch seems to shiver through her very core.
“You built these.” Laurel’s voice contains an odd mixture of sadness and pride. “Because we never have enough time. It’s the only way to get to me faster. You’ve been working on them for months, whenever you come see me here.”
“Where—where is ‘here’?” Felicity asks, hysteria rising in her voice.
“It’s where I’m needed.” Laurel squeezes her hand. “For now.”
“Is this real?”
“I ask myself the same thing every day. Yes, I think. Or at least I hope it is.” Laurel’s smile turns sad. “I’d hate to think that the place where someone loves me enough to build wings to come see me is only a figment of my imagination.”
“I…”
But a sound of fighting from somewhere beyond the room makes Laurel turn away. When she turns back, she’s in her uniform and mask, her tonfa flush against her forearm. “I have to go,” she says, and to Felicity’s shock, she leans forward and kisses her.
It’s perfect and sweet and over too soon, as Laurel runs for the door. Before she disappears, though, she winks over her shoulder at Felicity. “They really do look great,” she says, and runs out.
Felicity tries to chase after her, but the room swirls into mist, leaving her dangling above gray nothingness with her wings beating. And though she flies around for hours, she doesn’t find Laurel again.
She wakes with the memory of that kiss and that wink on her mind. Was it real? She can’t tell. She has no choice but to keep living her life while she tries to figure that out.
