@lldcttore &&. said... " look how you've changed. look how you have thrown it all away. "
he's changed — though for the better or worse, ren can't say. morally he doesn't consider himself a particularly upstanding individual. a desire to take accountability for his sins doesn't ABSOLVE him of the blood that stains his hands — nor does it remove his capacity for further atrocities. the wanderer exists in a stasis; evil, reprehensible yet wielded by the hands of a god who wishes only for benevolence. he can kill. he can destroy. he can spin tragedy into the world just as efficiently as a loom can weave a tapestry depicting those repulsive acts. he simply makes it a point now to only bring harm upon those who bring harm upon him first — in contrast to the balladeer, who wrought destruction and misery out of a misguided grudge.
and speaking of harming him — is there no one more GUILTY of such an act than the doctor himself? ( he owes him a debt, not in coin but in blood, in suffering. ) the disgust ren feels is almost palpable; the wind stirring as if to accentuate the wanderer's rage.
❝ is that what you think ... ❞ the words escape him in a growl — teeth bared in implicit threat, lips twisted in a snarl. he exhales a little breath and allows his shoulders to slump. the air is still tense, his gaze speaks of murder, but ren's body language changes to put on a deceptively casual façade. his voice is almost conversational in tone as he continues, ❝ thrown it all away, have i? sorry i'm no longer interested in being your malleable little test subject. ❞ a slight narrowing of the eyes. ❝ i don't need you anymore, and i certainly don't need the fatui ... so if that's what you're referring to, i say no great loss. ❞ what should he be missing? the power? the mora? the prestige? it's not worth swearing loyalty to the people who have done nothing but ruin him for centuries.
they killed what he LOVED. they killed him — in tiny, gradual ways. hollowing out bits of his insides to make room for the tool, the weapon, the monster they wanted him to be. perhaps it worked a little too well, but he won't be THEIR MONSTER. not anymore.
❝ this is my life. ❞ it always has been. ❝ i think i'll waste it however i want. ❞