#lljtb

[bastardtrait]

The Lucky Legacy presents...

Journey 2 Disney World

there is no smooth or sensible way to incorporate Journey to Batuu into regular gameplay. so here's a legacy side story that chronicles me achieving the JTB goals for this generation.

this will be a purely vanilla run, no mods, for the unadulterated Journey to Butthole experience. the way EA meant for it to be. which I'm sure will be complete garbage. also I am going to disclaim here that I don’t know that much about Star Wars so if I interpret these canon characters incorrectly...please accept my apologies.

let's get this shit over with.

[bastardtrait]

last thing for Jakob was to erase all traces of him in the First Order database but what's this? not Miss Kylo Ren also wanting to slob on his knob? this really is a dream sequence lmfaooo

transcript:

JAKOB: Aaannnndd...just like that. I was never here. Heh. Sick.

KYLO REN: You there. What do you think you're doing sneaking around here? JAKOB: Ah, shut up. This dream's been going on too long. I'm waking up now.

[Cutaway: Kylo Ren also having a crush on Jakob.]

KYLO REN: Noooo don't wake up from your extended Star Wars-themed dream, you're so sexyyyy ahahaha

[bastardtrait]

couple things: the droid depot is bugged to shit. I sent my droid to distract the officers and it promptly broke and threw a last exception error. great.

second thing: now whyyyy did Lt. Agnon immediately want to **** Jakob's **** girl what the fuck

transcript:

[Cutaway: Droid depot telling me Jakob lacked the materials (2 scrap metal) to make a droid even though he has EIGHT SCRAP METAL.]

JAKOB: I'm just saying I could've done it. FINN: Well...it doesn't want you to. So. Workarounds, darling.

DROID: Shutdown imminent. Goodbye, cruel world.

JAKOB: For the love of--this wouldn't've HAPPENED if I could've built my own droid!!! FINN: Babe, shush, I'm trying to commit crimes.

GUARD: Uhh, sir? These two homosexuals are trying to steal our weapons. LT. AGNON: Not now, officer. Back to what I was saying...

[Cutaway: Lt. Agnon having a crush on Jakob.]

LT. AGNON: Jakob Lucky, huh? Is there...is there a Mr. Lucky in the equation?

[bastardtrait]

did I gave Jakob three different Badookie outfits? yes girl. I did. you would do the same thing for your blorbos.

also we are questing. fuck the first order. more like the worst order lmaooo get rekt lmaooooo

transcript:

First Order Cargo Base

JAKOB: Ohhhh this is stressing me out. ...the fuck you're stressing out for, Jake? It's your Star Wars-themed dream, dammit. ...although I should've put myself in a cooler setting. Squadrons. Jedi: Fallen Order. Would've even KOTOR. Shit. Sims 4: Journey to Batuu though? Wack as shit.

FINN: Hi babe. JAKOB: BAAAAGHH Finn! You made me zap myself! And you brought the feckin' cops with?! STORMTROOPER: I just wanted to be included. Carry on.

FINN: So like, does the job even have hazard pay? STORMTROOPER: Are you kidding me?! I once fell off a ladder and my boss told me to walk it off. This place is a safety auditor's wet dream. FINN: That's rough, buddy.

[SFX: Supply crate hiss...ing open] FINN: Heh. Chumps.

LT. AGNON: What have I got sneaking around here, eh? Not someone looking to undermine our operations, I hope. FINN: Noooo not me I'm just a little guy ahaha you're so sexy please don't hit me

[bastardtrait]

21 😜💅🏼 can you talk to the opps next for me 🥰✨

transcript:

HONDO: You over there. You're the main character right? I'll give you the chance to beat me at sabacc over the middle-aged twink. FINN, aside: The fuck did you say to me you triceratops-ass bitch?

JAKOB: I got this. You watch and learn, Ohnaka. Bitches all over are gonna ask me how to play this game from now on.

HONDO: Yeah, yeah, sure but--what is he doing? JAKOB: ...he's...feeling himself. Alright? Leave him be. FINN, mumbling along: 21...can ya do sumn for me... HONDO: ...sure.

[bastardtrait]

and so ends Jakob's Star Wars-themed dream and my playthrough of Journey to Badoo-doo.

honestly that was...incredibly boring and I'm happy to never ever do it again. and you can't even live in the world to make something out of that map. let's just say I am so glad I never paid for this dook.

you can continue reading the main Lucky Legacy from here.

transcript:

bzzt! bzzt!

[SFX: Alarm clock ringing sound] JAKOB: (shuddering gasp) FINN, aside: Babe, your alarm is going crazy. Please shut it down.

JAKOB: Finny! FINN: (chuckles) Yes? Good morning to you too, cuddles. JAKOB: I'm just...it's you. Really you. Wow.

FINN: Any reason why it wouldn't be me? JAKOB: I just had the wildest dream. It felt so real...and so long. You were there... We were in Star Wars together. FINN: (snort) Now that's how you know that's a dream. Star Wars. Pffft.

[bastardtrait]

Jakob got a purple kyber crystal and a lightsaber base and immediately didn't know how to act. He duelled with this random alien and promptly kicked their ass.

transcript:

JAKOB, visibly shaking: Holy shit. Purple lightsaber.

JAKOB: Changed my mind. I'm the villain now. Let's wreak some feckin' havoc.

[bastardtrait]

the very first time Luckhardt flew off in one of the space crafts was kind of cool. when I realised that that was just a fancy rabbithole it quickly lost its lustre. so. big fan of that.

transcript:

[SFX: Welding torch blasting; hammer clanging]

FINN: You can tell this is a dream because there is no way real world Finn would ever touch a tool. That's a straight man thing.

[Cutaway: Finn flying the X-wing through First Order territory, and he is being chased.]

VI, aside: Hey--you can't fly that thing!! HEY!!