#loachhowl

[residences-of-the-darkforest]

Laureldawn and Loachhowl are unexpected besties (everyone assumes they’re mates, but they’re just accidental friends)

they bond over the fact that birth is gross af

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Dark Forest Resident: Loachhowl

Aliases / Nicknames: Lil Guy, Fella, Loach

Gender: tom

Sexuality: asexual, aromantic

Family: unnamed biological mother, Aspenshade, Hazelraven (fathers), Thrushshell, Ripplepearl, Sandfeather, Robinflip, Heathpaw (sisters), Brownhare, Whalerush, Glinttide (brothers) Ashenfur, Birchcreek, Ashenpaw (nephews)

Other Relations: Garlicdust (mentor)

Clan: Riverclan

Rank: medicine cat

Characteristics: childish, strange, clever, does not know how kits are born

Number of Victims: 6

Number of Murders: 5+

Murder Method: vivisection

Known Victims: Lilacbramble, Finfur, Hopereed, Lyrebite, Charredfalcon, unnamed unborn kits

Victim Profile: pregnant queens

Cause of Death: head injury, murdered by Rowanclaw

Cautionary Tale: ??

Story:

It started when Lilacbramble tried giving him the talk. Maybe if Hazelmask hadn’t interrupted her, things would’ve turned out differently.

But as things were, the poor queen-to-be was interrupted, and Loachkit had questions. Specifically questions about kits.

So, when Lilacbramble came for a checkup, he tried his very best to find out exactly what caused the little miracles! He tried to calm her, tried to reassure her that they had enough moss to stop the bleeding if she would just stop moving, but she didn’t listen!

So that wasn’t ideal.

Moons passed, and he grew into a kind, competent medicine cat, but he still didn’t understand kits! What was the process?

When Finfur had her litter, he tried to find out again, only realizing too late when poor Finfur was beyond saving.

He apologized the only way he could think of, and became the mentor of her last kit.

For a while, things were good. But then Hopereed announced during a routine checkup that she believed she would have a large litter of kits.

He tried to be gentle this time, giving her poppy seeds for the pain as he examined her, but, once again, that cursed blood stained his paws.

When he found out that his beloved apprentice, Shoretooth, was expecting, he ran away from the Clan for three moons to stop the twitching curiosity that already had caused three and some deaths.

Lyrebite being the first to see him when he returned was simple shitty luck for her.

Briarfreckle’s death could’ve been avoided, he supposed, had she not tripped over the herb stores, then laughed nervously when he asked for help cleaning them up.

Charredfalcon was the last, and, as he walked back to camp, he never saw the final blow coming for his head.

Additional Information:

--Submission by @ambitiousauthor

--Going in I thought he killed pregnant queens deliberately so at the very least he's just a dumbass.

--Remember parents, this is why sex ed. is important! You're child will find other ways to learn, and even might one day split open pregnant women to see what happens inside them. This has been a PSA.

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Loachhowl, seeing any queen approaching Webstripe: SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT-

*panics and barrels into Webstripe*

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

More Loach Trivia:

- enormous eyebags

- socially awkward af

- he feels most comfortable sleeping wedged into tiny spaces

- he has a huge respect for she-cats, but joined the shitbag gang bc he thought the requirement to join was ‘only kill queens’

- panics whenever he sees a pregnant cat bc he doesn’t trust himself to control his curiosity

- very good with kits

- mumbles a lot

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Loachhowl trivia:

- Loach is physically much smaller that the other members of the shitbag gang, and so can hide very easily

- whenever something bad happens, no matter the magnitude of it, he says ‘well that’s not ideal’

- the first time he finally gets ‘the talk’ he is absolutely revolted and doesn’t make eye contact with anyone for a week

Hi Loach I love you

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Loachhowl, accidentally joining the shitbag gang: well this isn’t ideal.